Chapter 1 The Executive at Ease on the Job
Everyone has qualms when they're starting out in the business world. Even senior managers who have excelled in the workplace for decades confess to concern when plunged into strange, new territory, entering unknown situations, dealing with strangers about whom they know nothing other than their brief bios and some second-hand opinions.
The purpose of a book like this on human interactions and behavior is to give you information that can become a useful set of tools to help make life at work easier and more successful.
Everyone who goes to work wants to feel at ease (or "socially comfortable") in his or her surroundings. An executive known as someone at ease is a person who makes others around him comfortable too.
No one wants to be conspicuous by acting unsophisticated or unknowing. A person at ease walks with grace through the workplace. He thinks about other people, and that unconsciously takes his mind off himself and gives him poise. The fact that others get along well with him is not defined by his designer-made clothes or car of the moment. Rather, it's defined by something as simple as using three common phrases that are automatic, instinctive parts of his everyday vocabulary: "Please," "I'm sorry," and "Thank you." It's that simple. He doesn't have to own Cartier panthère cufflinks, know how to gossip in a foreign language, or choose the perfect wine every time in a restaurant.
A cold, ill-at-ease person would say to an employee, "Sorry, but you're going to have to stay tonight until you've analyzed this report and made the required number of copies. We need it for tomorrow's seven o'clock meeting." An at-ease executive would say, "Jim, I hate to have to ask you to stay late to finish the report and the copies tonight, but you're the only one who knows how to make sense out of this. We'll make it up to you for messing up your evening, I promise."
BEING AT EASE ANYWHERE IN THE BUSINESS WORLD
There is no rest when you are helping to manage a business. You have an excess of responsibility. You must motivate and guide people; watch over their safety, benefits, and health; realize profits; keep morale high; and avoid any criticism of the firm for exploitation of its employees or racism, sexism, or discrimination.
Luckily, a good manager usually has a good mindset, a positive attitude that is inherent in his actions toward the company, its employees, and the common goals they all share. This attitude is natural and automatic. A good manager does not have to force himself to summon up superhuman strength or a feeling of compassion, or dose of courage, to handle the inevitable people problems that arise in day-to-day work situations. He handles them quickly, fairly, and with insight and understanding.
A good manager is constantly concerned about the morale of the people on his watch. His employees, in turn, care about his morale, too, and enjoy doing a good job for him. That's teamwork!
Here are some of the components of an executive's behavior that make others want to be on his team:
Knowing When to Say "Please"
Whether you're asking the waitress at the diner to bring you another cup of breakfast coffee or asking your secretary to go to the copy machine, "please" should come forth without self-prompting or even consciously thinking about it. Hollywood, unfortunately, has set a bad example: Network TV shows feature sitcom stars yelling orders to people in their offices as well as waiters or shopkeepers. (There's never a "please" at the beginning or end.) You should view with dismay America's favorite child TV stars ordering around their teachers and parents in their shows each week. These kids would last about four days on a job in the business world.
Fortunately, the real world bears little resemblance to the screen world, because no matter how bad the manners around us seem to be, most children come to learn that when they grow up, their jobs will depend on how well they behave, not how much they can get away with.
How Many Times a Day Should One Say "Please?"
If you are in the business world, it's impossible to count the number of times. When you make even the slightest request of someone, you should begin or end it with "please." For every favor you ask, "please" should be the entrance or exit word.
To your spouse: "Please help me entertain the boss at Sunday lunch. I need your help."
To the taxi driver: "Take me to La Guardia Airport, please."
To the hotel cashier: "Please give me my bill for room 803."
To your secretary: "Please fax this to John Garrett, with a copy also to Joan Scribner in New Orleans."
To the waiter: "I'd like to see the wine list, please."
To the CEO: "Please note his criticism of our strategy plan in the second paragraph. It's pretty strong."
Knowing How to Apologize
(See also "Letter of Apology," Chapter 7)
The short phrase "I'm sorry" means so much to the person to whom it is addressed, even when you have to push yourself to utter it. Whatever your motivation, when an apology is called for, make it! For example:
x If you misdial someone on the phone, say "I'm terribly sorry, wrong number," rather than just slam down the receiver in the other person's ear.
x If you do something really hurtful, such as forgetting an appointment:
x Telephone your sincere apology.
x Follow it up with a personal note of apology.
x Send flowers or a gift of some kind, such as fruit, wine, or candy, to reinforce your apology.
x If a stranger does something nice, like picking up something you just dropped on the street but didn't notice, tell him with a warm smile of appreciation that he has really "made your day."
x If you arrive late at a meeting, apologize to the chairman or the host and to the others you have kept waiting.
x When you give someone in your office too much work to do on an emergency basis, use all three of these phrases:
"Please do it."
"I'm sorry to have to ask you to do this."
"Thank you very much for doing it."
x If you do something like bump a person as you move rapidly through a hallway, react quickly with a sincere "I'm really sorry. I certainly didn't mean to do that." (Your words will diffuse the hostility your act may have engendered.)
x If you cause damage to a colleague's possession, apologize profusely, then offer to have it fixed or replaced. For example, when you're a guest in a co-worker's, client's, or your boss's home:
x If you stain your host's good tablecloth at dinner, arrange to take it to the best dry cleaner available.
x If you spill something on his pale-colored carpet, arrange to have it professionally cleaned.
x If you break something, arrange to have it repaired at the best repair shop in town.
No matter what damage you do in someone else's home or office, always do the best you can to make amends -- and write a good letter of apology.
Knowing How to Say "Thank You"
(See also "Informal Business Letters" and "Letters of Acknowledgment and Thanks," Chapter 7)
We should thank people a lot more than we do -- automatically -- but if we think about what we are thanking them for, we'll be more sincere. Some examples of the kinds of situations in our everyday lives where a little expression of gratitude can be very effective:
x When someone goes back to your office to get your glasses for a meeting
x When someone from the mailroom brings you the mail
x When a gas station attendant finishes filling your tank with gas
x When someone opens a door for you or holds the elevator door for you
x When someone serves you in any capacity, whether it's your secretary who brings papers to your desk or the person in the empl