Synopses & Reviews
In Codependent No More,
Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency.
Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency,
which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.
The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It's about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated.
Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior -- caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc. -- enabling us to personalize our own step-bystep guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.
Punctuated with Beattie's renowned candor and intuitive wisdom, The New Codependency is an owner's manual to learning to be who we are and gives us the tools necessary to reclaim our lives by renouncing unhealthy practices.
"Bestseller Beattie, of Codependent No More fame, revisits the topic she helped introduce more than 15 years ago, armed with more insight and a good deal of new scholarship, revising several old opinions and offering new perspectives on emotional awareness, damaging relationships, and finding genuine mental health in a society so 'in touch' that it's run screaming for the pharmaceuticals. Through analogy, quizzes, anecdote and reflective exercises, Beattie promotes careful self-examination, problem-identification and a strategy of surrender, acceptance and processing. Beattie's obvious efforts to improve on her earlier work and wholehearted investment-not to mention timely reminders to seek outside help if needed-illustrate better than any anecdote how she walks the walk, and has important insight for members of the 'entitled' generation (lavished with attention by overcompensating parents who were themselves love-starved children of codependency) already used to talking about their feelings, who need a different process to find genuine emotional connection. Though it can be scholarly and repetitive, Beattie's principles and methodology should prove accessible and insightful for most." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
In her first major work in decades, the follow-up to the national bestseller "Codependent No More," Beattie identifies how codependent behavior has changed and shows readers how to get back their lives by choosing behaviors that work for them.
Table of Contents
Crossing Lines and Getting Back over Them Again
1. Taking Care of Ourselves
2. How to Use This Handbook
3. What Codependency Is and Isn't
4. The New Codependency
5. Letting Go of Stigma from the Label
Breaking Free from the Control Trap and Getting Some Grace
1. The Evolving Art of Self-Care
4. Chemically Dependent and Codependent
9. A New Legacy from Our Family of Origin
10. Giving and Receiving
11. Self-Love Is Contagious
13. Let's Play
16. The Secrets to Power
17. Cdependency Progression
18. Healing What Hurts
19. The Freedom to Be Who We Are
21. Sexual Intimacy and Codependency
22. Surrendering Our Way into Grace
Making a Conscious Connection with Yourself
Emotional Health Quiz
Drama and Misery Addiction Quiz
Grief and Loss Quiz
Catch and Release: It's Only a Feeling
1. Opening Pandora's Box
2. Dealing with Feelings
4. Company Doesn't Love Misery
6. The Way to the Heart
1. What to Do When
2. H ow to Find Help for Almost Everything