Synopses & Reviews
For American parents, teenage sex is something to be feared and forbidden: most would never consider allowing their children to have sex at home, and sex is a frequent source of family conflict. In the Netherlands, where teenage pregnancies are far less frequent than in the United States, parents aim above all for family cohesiveness, often permitting young couples to sleep together and providing them with contraceptives. Drawing on extensive interviews with parents and teens, Not Under My Roof offers an unprecedented, intimate account of the different ways that girls and boys in both countries negotiate love, lust, and growing up.
Tracing the roots of the parents divergent attitudes, Amy T. Schalet reveals how they grow out of their respective conceptions of the self, relationships, gender, autonomy, and authority. She provides a probing analysis of the way family culture shapes not just sex but also alcohol consumption and parent-teen relationships. Avoiding caricatures of permissive Europeans and puritanical Americans, Schalet shows that the Dutch require self-control from teens and parents, while Americans guide their children toward autonomous adulthood at the expense of the family bond.
About the Author
Amy T. Schalet is assistant professor of sociology at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst.
Table of Contents
One / Raging Hormones, Regulated Love
Two / Dutch Parents and the Sleepover
Three / American Parents and the Drama of Adolescent Sexuality
Four / Adversarial and Interdependent Individualism
Five / “I Didnt Even Want Them to Know”: Connection through Control
Six / “At Least They Know Where I Am”: Control through Connection
Seven / Romantic Rebels, Regular Lovers
Eight / Sexuality, Self-Formation, and the State
Conclusion / Beyond the Drama