Synopses & Reviews
Periel Aschenbrand loathes Internet dating, Republicans, TV, junk food, and stockbrokers. She is twenty-eight years old, lives in New York and Los Angeles, accessorizes Dolce & Gabbana with a "F*ck Bush" necklace, and wakes up every morning to a double espresso with a "splash" of 2% milk. Predictable and pretentious, right? Wrong.
Periel Aschenbrand is also best friends with a Mormon, waits tables in Spanish Harlem, flirts with New York City cops, enjoys a good lap dance, gets revenge on snotty salespeople in an unconventional manner, and stayed in constant cell phone communication with her mother while protesting in her underwear at the Republican National Convention. "Are you provoking any policemen? You could be put in jail and get physically hurt by crack addicts who would see you as bait."
In a refreshing nonfiction debut that's never sanitized or slick, Periel delivers raunchy and hilarious truths about sex, politics, and how best to inspire the youth of America.
"Aschenbrand, who founded the T-shirt business, Body as Billboard, and identifies herself as 'half Israeli and half New York Jew,' shares some of her thoughts about the world, which-apart from the left-wing slogans-feature the type of humor appreciated by Howard Stern fans. Many of Aschenbrand's opinions pertain to religion. For example, she can't believe a friend is a Mormon: 'I was like, insofar as I'm concerned, the Mormon missionaries are like serial killers in that they prey on people weaker than themselves.' Christians? The 'pope knows that God doesn't exist. That's the secret of his fucking power.' At the airport, she won't board her flight because there's a 'tall shady-looking fucking Arab who looks like a terrorist' in line. Aschenbrand also explains how she came up with the idea for her T-shirt business. 'We should use our tits to make people think,' she thought, so she printed up shirts with slogans like 'drug dealer' for an organization that raises money to send AIDS medication to children in Africa. Readers may also enjoy Aschenbrand's witty confrontations with her mom over anal sex and her suspicions that her proctologist is aroused by examining her... Or maybe they'll just want to buy the T-shirt. " Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
In a refreshing debut that is never sanitized nor slick, Periel Aschenbrand, who is part Israeli and part New York Jew, delivers raunchy and hilarious truths about sex, politics, and how best to improve the youth of America.
About the Author
Periel Aschenbrand identifies herself as half Israeli and half New York Jew. She founded a politically oriented T-shirt company called Body as Billboard, which she hopes will continue to serve those who find it unappealing to be walking advertisements for corporate America. She also has a soft spot for James Baldwin, Monique Wittig, Larry Kramer, Gore Vidal, true crime novels, and pugs.