Synopses & Reviews
The Basis for the Movie Mean Girls
PARENTS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN GIRL WORLD
Do you feel as though your adolescent daughter exists in a different world, speaking a different language and living by different laws? She does.
This groundbreaking book takes you inside the secret world of girls friendships, translating and decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid and insightful book, Wiseman discusses:
• Queen Bees, Wannabes, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays and help her be herself
• Girls power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to handle them
• Good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear on every situation
• Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, “Check Your Baggage,” and identify how your own background and biases affect how you relate to your daughter
• Related movies, books, websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter
Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents and a welcome sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes is compelling reading for parents and daughters alike. A conversation piece and a reference guide, it offers the tools you need to help your daughter feel empowered and make smarter choices.
When Rosalind Wiseman first published Queen Bees & Wannabes
, she fundamentally changed the way adults look at girls friendships and conflicts-from how they choose their best friends, how they express their anger, their boundaries with boys, and their relationships with parents. Wiseman showed how girls of every background are profoundly influenced by their interactions with one another.
Now, Wiseman has revised and updated her groundbreaking book for a new generation of girls and explores:
•How girls experiences before adolescence impact their teen years, future relationships, and overall success
•The different roles girls play in and outside of cliques as Queen Bees, Targets, and Bystanders, and how this defines how they and others are treated
•Girls power plays-from fake apologies to fights over IM and text messages
•Where boys fit into the equation of girl conflicts and how you can help your daughter better hold her own with the opposite sex
•Checking your baggage-recognizing how your experiences impact the way you parent, and how to be sanely involved in your daughters difficult, yet common social conflicts
Packed with insights about technologys impact on Girl World and enlivened with the experiences of girls, boys, and parents, the book that inspired the hit movie Mean Girls offers concrete strategies to help you empower your daughter to be socially competent and treat herself with dignity.
About the Author
ROSALIND WISEMAN is cofounder of the Empower program, a not-for-profit organization that works to empower girls and boys to stop violence. She is an advisor to Liz Claibornes Womens Work program and has been featured on The Oprah Show and CNN and in publications such as USA Today, the Washington Post, and the New York Times. She lives in Washington, D.C.
From the Hardcover edition.
Reading Group Guide
1. Dads often feel when their daughters are struggling with these issues that they cant relate, but this is precisely the time for dads to shine (Chapter 2). How can women actively encourage dads and other men in girls lives to become more involved? What do women do that can discourage men from feeling that they can contribute?
2. What stops parents from talking to each other when their children are in conflict? Why do some parents feel that it is most appropriate for kids to work it out on their own? How does it make the other parent feel when they have that response?
3. Why are parents so reluctant to apologize for their childs behavior?
4. Can you think of times when you have denied your own childs wrongdoing? Why was it so hard to admit?
5. What were you teased about when you were your daughters age and how did you handle it? What group, if any, were you in? Did you ever have an experience where a friend was mean or cruel to someone else and you didnt like it, but you said nothing because you were afraid they would turn on you?
6. Why is this considered by some to be a superficial rite of passage that all girls go through? What do you think cliques and bullying teach your child? Do you see these experiences influencing the kind of woman she becomes?
7. Can extracurricular activities help girls combat the importance they place on cliques and their social status? When would these activities be helpful and when could they be just as bad if not worse?
8. Do uniforms stop the social hierarchy?
9. How does parental involvement in school help or hurt these situations?
10. What parental behavior is the most helpful and most difficult in helping girls through these experiences?
11. What kind of parent are you? How do you know? (see Chapter 2)
12. Is your behavior with friends and family (and your interactions with her friends) consistent with your parenting values?
13. What stops parents from confronting each other and what stops them from listening when they find out their child is being bullied or being a bully?