Synopses & Reviews
This groundbreaking book from the best-selling authors of Getting the Love You Want and coauthors of Giving the Love that Heals is the first to address the biggest unexplored issue facing couples today: Most of us are better at giving love than accepting it. We don't realize all the ways that our resistance to appreciation, praise, compliments, and accepting help from others hurts us and cripples our relationships.
Many partners learn how to give love, but many more undermine their relationships by for-getting something that is equally important -- learning to receive it. According to the authors, the root of the problem is the self-rejection that began in childhood, when our parents and caretakers unintentionally failed to nurture or directly rejected traits, characteristics, or im-pulses when we were children. We end up rejecting in ourselves whatever our caretakers ignored or rejected in the course of our childhoods. When we become adults, this makes it impossible to let in the love we want and need, even when our partners offer it. As a result, we dismiss compliments, minimize gestures of affection, and create obstacles to true intimacy.
In this book, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, co-creators of Imago Relation-ship Therapy, offer a definitive guide to breaking the shackles of self-rejection and embracing the love our partners offer. Receiving Love is a very personal book for Drs. Hendrix and Hunt, and much of their own journey is the inspiration for it.
Drawing on their renowned expertise, the wide clinical experience of hundreds of Imago therapists, and their own personal experience, the authors are able to offer detailed guidance on how toconquer the problems that come from self-rejection and embrace the gifts that are abundant in every person's life, if only we knew how to accept them. With its groundbreaking theory, challenging processes, and inspiring examples, this book holds the key to loving relationships that last.
"Intelligent and insightful...wise and sophisticated." andlt;BRandgt; -- andlt;Iandgt;Publishers Weeklyandlt;/Iandgt; (starred review)
Drawing on the renowned expertise that has earned them praise from the likes of Oprah Winfrey, the co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy offer a definitive guide to embracing the love one's partner offers. Hendrix and Hunt are the bestselling authors of "Getting the Love You Want" and maintain that offering love may be easy, but accepting it is another matter.
Harville Hendrix has illuminated the paths to loving, long-lasting relationships in his andlt;Iandgt;New York Timesandlt;/Iandgt; bestsellers andlt;Iandgt;Getting the Love You Wantandlt;/Iandgt; and andlt;Iandgt;Keeping the Love You Findandlt;/Iandgt;. Now, with coauthor and wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, he brings us to a new understanding about one of the most complicated issues facing couples today: andlt;BRandgt; andlt;Bandgt;Receiving Loveandlt;/Bandgt; andlt;BRandgt; Many men and women know how to andlt;Iandgt;giveandlt;/Iandgt; love, but many more undermine their relationships by never having learned how to accept it. We don't always realize the ways in which we reject appreciation and affection, help and guidance from our romantic partners. And, according to Hendrix and Hunt, until we are able to understand the meaning behind our behavior, our relationships stand to suffer. Ask yourself: andlt;BRandgt; andlt;Bandgt;andlt;Iandgt;Are you reluctant to tell your partner what you really want or need? andlt;BRandgt; When you do get what you've asked for, do you still feel dissatisfied? andlt;BRandgt; Is it difficult for you to accept kind gestures, gifts, or compliments from your partner?andlt;/Iandgt;andlt;/Bandgt; andlt;BRandgt; If you answered andlt;Bandgt;yesandlt;/Bandgt; to any of the above, this book is for you. With andlt;Iandgt;Receiving Loveandlt;/Iandgt;, you can learn how to break the shackles of self-rejection -- which likely began in childhood, when our caretakers unintentionally failed to nurture us -- and embrace real intimacy. Drawing on their renowned expertise, the wide clinical experience of Imago therapists, and their own personal experience as a married couple, the authors offer detailed, sensitive advice on how to turn a relationship between two well-meaning yet misunderstood individuals into a true, everlasting partnership.
About the Author
andlt;bandgt;Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.andlt;/bandgt;, a clinical pastoral counselor and co-creator of Imago Relationship Therapy, has more than thirty-five years' experience as an educator, public lecturer, and couples' therapist.andlt;bandgt;Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.andlt;/bandgt; used her education in psychology to help develop the Imago process as well as to support gender equity -- for which she was inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame. She is in great demand as a public speaker.
Table of Contents
PART I Understanding the Problem
chapter 1: Nothing's Ever Good Enough
chapter 2: Three Marriages Gone Wrong
chapter 3: The Unconscious Connection
chapter 4: The Childhood Roots of Self-Rejection
chapter 5: Rejecting Self/Rejecting Love
PART II The Solution
chapter 6: The Science of Relationships
chapter 7: Learning to Receive
chapter 8: Establishing Contact, Connection, and Communion
chapter 9: Restoring Life
PART III Exercises
exercise 1: The Gift Diary
exercise 2: The Imago Dialogue
exercise 3: Learning How You Know
exercise 4: Practice Receiving and Giving
exercise 5: Positive Flooding
exercise 6: Your "Receiving Quotient" Assessment
exercise 7: Your "Giving Love" Assessment
exercise 8: Your Imago
exercise 9: Intimacy
exercise 10: Becoming Whole Again
exercise 11: Discovering Your Hidden Potential