Synopses & Reviews
Review
"Terry Kuper's new book,
Revisioning Men's Lives, is a must read for any professional teaching the psychology of men or new gender studies. It provides one of the best available texts combining personal experience, therapeutic vignettes, and sociological analysis." --William S. Pollack, Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, President, Massachusetts Psychological Association, Co-author,
In a Time of Fallen Heroes: The Recreation of Masculinity"Revisioning Men's Lives is a welcome contribution to the growing literature on contemporary men's issues. Kupers' nuanced analysis avoids simplistic formulas and either/or dichotomies, insisting on both faithfulness to men's lived experience and sensitivity to their social context. Suitable for classroom use, it covers a wide range of issues with sensitivity and insight: competition, families, friendships, sexuality, homophobia, and politics." --Harry Brod, editor of THE MAKING OF MASCULINITIES and A MENSCH AMONG MEN and Founding Editor of MEN'S STUDIES REVIEW
"This is a courageous book about how men can grow out of their sexism and homophobia and heal into a powerful equality with women. Dr. Kupers offers a finely detailed map of how men can transcend dysfunction and aggression and achieve integrity and cooperation." --Franklin Abbott, editor of NEW MEN, NEW MINDS and MEN AND INTIMACY
"REVISIONING MEN'S LIVES is a sensitive, honest report from the trenches of embattled, but still lethal, forms of masculinity in the U.S. today. Dr. Kupers draws upon decades of clinical experience, social activism, self-reflection and his participation in men's groups and movements to offer an insightful, compassionate reading of the pathologies of contemporary masculinities, and to envision, while he models, hopeful manly alternatives to John Wayne and Iron John." --Judith Stacey, author of BRAVE NEW FAMILIES
"Terry Kupers' new book, Revisioning Men's Lives breaks new and important ground in linking men's personal transformation to a political agenda that is empathically pro-feminist, and anti-misogynist. He takes on the challenging issues of homophobia, male emotional self-regulation, and male friendships in ways that both inform and challenge. Throughout, the emphasis is highlighted by therapeutic and personal vignettes linking the individual with the societal level of analysis. In the end, he suggests major shifts of power--away from male domination of women--and provides an excellent rebuttal to Bly's complaint about 'soft' men: The creation of a world of caring, loving, fathering men--allies of women--who yet remain strong, potent and masculine. Both men and women will gain much from reading this volume." --William S. Pollack, Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, President, Massachusetts Psychological Association, Co-author, IN A TIME OF FALLEN HEROES: THE RE-CREATION OF MASCULINITY
"Terry Kupers' new book, REVISIONING MEN'S LIVES, is a must read for any professional teaching the psychology of men or new gender studies. It provides one of the best available texts combining personal experience, therapeutic vignette and sociological analysis." --William S. Pollack, Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, President, Massachusetts Psychological Association, Co-author, IN A TIME OF FALLEN HEROES: THE RE-CREATION OF MASCULINITY
Synopsis
From childhood men are taught to be tough--not to cry or act like "sissies," and, perhaps more important, to want to win in whatever they do. The rules governing men's behavior, first learned in the schoolyard, change little during the course of a man's life and are inextricably linked with the values that determine how men judge each other and themselves.
Over the past 20 years, however, with heightened interest in male psychology and the emergence of the men's movements, greater numbers of men have begun to discover the links between traditional male armoring, inclinations toward battles for dominance, feelings of inadequacy and isolation, and the compensatory tendency to oppress women and gays. Today, while men believe they must still conform to the dictates of the male role, it has become increasingly ambiguous what that role is.
The groundbreaking book, REVISIONING MEN'S LIVES, seeks to completely reshape our perspectives on manhood and masculinity. It explores the important themes of gender, intimacy, and power in men's lives in an effort to change for the better our notions about what it means to be a man. Combining psychological, clinical, autobiographical, sociological, and critical discussions, the book describes the deeply divided "men's movement" and critiques the various approaches that different groups have taken. Chapters address individual topics such as fathers and sons, homophobia, friendships, pornography, and men in therapy; throughout, personal and clinical experiences bring the myriad issues of masculinity to life.
The book concludes with a discussion of the influence of power on men's lives. Kupers asserts that what men really want is to feel productive, successful, loved, virile, and fully alive. Yet men also believe that the only way to achieve these goals is to be powerful, and they continue to define power in a very traditional, one-dimensional way as power over others. This definition tends to trap men into lives where they will most probably fear dependency, compensate for inadequacies by oppressing others, and isolate themselves emotionally in order to avoid betraying themselves as "weaklings."
What this book proposes is a redefinition of "power" that will allow men to feel powerful through non-traditional means; most especially, through positive, non-oppressive relationships with their families, colleagues, and friends. Once men have relinquished the idea that power can only be attained at the expense of others, men and women will be able to work together to construct new notions of masculinity and greatly improved gender relations.
REVISIONING MEN'S LIVES is essential reading for everyone who wants a greater understanding of the forces shaping men's lives today. Carefully documented clinical and personal experiences are presented in a straightforward and engaging style that is accessible to all. Social scientists interested in men's, women's, and family issues, emotion, self-esteem, and gender relations will find the book illuminating.
"...This is a fine book--the kind which allows the reader to feel he has a comrade and a partner in the aruous gender role journey with which we are our male clients are engaged." --Masculinities
Description
Includes bibliographical references (p. 185-194) and index.
About the Author
Terry A. Kupers, M.D., a professor in the Graduate School of Psychology at The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California, practices psychiatry in Oakland. The author of
Public Therapy: The Practice of Psychotherapy in the Public Mental Health Clinic (1981) and
Ending Therapy: The Meaning of Termination (1988), he is married and has three young adult sons.
Table of Contents
Introduction
1. Nice Guys Needn't Finish Last.
2. Pathological Arrhythmicity in Men.
3. Homophobia in Straight Men.
4. Men in Couples.
5. Pornography and Intimacy.
6. The Conscientious Father and the Unappreciative Son.
7. Men in Therapy.
8. Friends.
9. The Men's Movement: Making the Personal Political.
10. Crossing and Redrawing the Lines.
11. Conclusion: Redefining Power.