Synopses & Reviews
You Can Start a Revolution in Your Family . . . Tonight
ScreamFree Parenting is not just about lowering your voice. Its about learning to calm your emotional reactions and learning to focus on your own behavior more than your kids behavior . . . for their benefit. Our biggest enemy as parents is not the TV, the Internet, or even drugs. Our biggest enemy is our own emotional reactivity. When we say we “lost it” with our kids, the “it” in that sentence is our own adulthood. And then we wonder why our kids have so little respect for us, why our kids seem to have all the power in the family.
Its time to do it differently. And you can. You can start to create and enjoy the types of calm, mutually respectful, and loving relationships with your kids that youve always craved. You can begin to revolutionize your family, starting tonight.
Parenting is not about kids, its about parents.
If youre not in control, then you cannot be in charge.
What every kid really needs are parents who are able to keep their cool no matter what.
Easier said than done? Not anymore, thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, the principle-based approach thats inspiring parents everywhere to truly revolutionize their family dynamics. Moving beyond the child-centered, technique-based approaches that ultimately fail, the ScreamFree way compels you to:
focus on yourself
calm yourself down, and
grow yourself up
By staying calm and connected with your kids, you begin to operate less out of your deepest fears and more out of your highest principles, revolutionizing your relationships in the process.
ScreamFree Parenting is not just another parenting book. Its the first parenting
book that maintains—from beginning to end—that parenting is NOT about kids . . . its about parents. As parents pay more attention to controlling their own behavior instead of their kids behavior, the result is stronger, more rewarding, and more fulfilling family relationships.
For those of you reading who are parents, know parents, or have had parents, the notion that the greatest thing you can do for your children is to learn to focus on yourself may sound strange, even heretical. Its not. Heres why: we are the only ones we can control. We cannot control our kids—we cannot control the behavior of any other human being. And yet, so many “experts” keep giving us more tools (“techniques”) to help us try to do just that. And, of course, the more we try to control, the more out of control our children become.
“Dont make me come up there.” “Dont make me pull this car over.” “How many times do I have to tell you?” Even our language suggests that our kids have control over us.
Its no wonder that we end up screaming. Or shutting down. Or simply giving up. And the charts, refrigerator magnets, family meetings, and other techniques in most typical parenting books just dont work. They end up making us feel more frustrated and more powerless in this whole parenting thing.
This practical, effective guide for parents of all ages with kids of all ages introduces proven principles for overcoming the anxieties and stresses of parenting and setting new patterns of connection and cooperation. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help all parents become calming authorities in their homes, bring peace to their families today, and give kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
Synopsis
Why do so many parents feel overstretched, overcommitted, underprepared, and underappreciated? In ScreamFree Parenting, Hal Runkel, a family therapist and the father of two, takes an entertaining yet profound look at today’ s anxiety-driven, child-focused approach to parenting and argues that parents must stop centering their lives around their children— and focus instead on themselves. In particular, Runkel teaches that instead of paying so much attention to their kids’ behavior, parents should spend more focus on their own emotional responses to that behavior. Some parents resort to screaming and out-and-out battles; others distance themselves from difficult situations; and still others just give up and give in. These are all just different forms of “ screaming.” ScreamFree Parenting shows how all these reactions are counterproductive, and teaches parents how to relate to their children in a calm, cool, and connected way.
Runkel takes readers step-by-step on the journey to becoming a “ cool” parent. He explains why creating space, both physical and psychological, for each family member is essential, and offers practical advice on how parents can overcome their anxieties about a child’ s demand for privacy, give up the need to know everything about his or her life and feelings, and learn to respect their child’ s opinions and choices. Runkel also explores the “ business” side of parenting. Emphasizing a parent’ s responsibility to provide the stability and structure that form the foundation of healthy family life, he discusses the importance of setting the tone by meaning what you say, saying what youmean, and following through on promises. Every chapter concludes with a set of questions for readers, and every section concludes with a real-life story that illustrates the power of the ScreamFree principles to revolutionize family relationships.
ScreamFree Parenting covers the whole range of parental concerns, from familiar situations like getting a baby to sleep through the night to such dramatic events as dealing with a teenager’ s arrest. Well-written in an engaging, conversational tone, the book is sensible, straightforward, and based on the experiences of hundreds of actual families. It will help every parent become a calming authority in their home, bringing peace to their families today and giving kids what they need to grow into caring, self-directed adults tomorrow.
About the Author
HAL EDWARD RUNKEL is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship
coach, and international speaker. He is founder and president of ScreamFree
Living, Inc.—dedicated to calming the world one relationship at a time. Hals principles
have already helped thousands of families revolutionize their relationships. He lives
with his wife, Jenny, and their two children just outside Atlanta, Georgia.