Synopses & Reviews
Dear Fan of Count Olaf,
If you are looking for a good time, I'm sorry to tell you that you are holding a box of books, a term which here means three books too many." As you may know, reading is pretty much the boringest thing in the world. You would have a better time watching a motion picture starring a handsome count.
My major motion picture, for example, starring me, features a mansion burnt to a crisp, a peg leg made of real wood, and leeches that eat people. True, this box of books" has all these details, too, but there are so many words in it, and so few pictures of me.
It is my solemn duty to command you to step away from the computer at once and rush to your local movie theater to marvel at my groundbreaking performance in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Books are for ugly people.
Of course you may have my autograph:
This collectible box featuring movie art contains the first three terrible books upon which Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks have based an upcoming film adaptation, starring Jim Carrey and Jude Law, scheduled for release on December 17. Includes a 3-D sticker. Consumable.
The three latest and most upsetting volumes in the "New York Times" bestselling series are collected in this horrible hardcover boxed set. Includes "#10: The Slippery Slope, #11: The Grim Grotto," and "#12: Book the Twelfth."
About the Author
Lemony Snicket was born before you were, and is likely to die before you as well. His family has roots in a part of the country which is now underwater, and his childhood was spent in the relative splendor of the Snicket Villa which has since become a factory, a fortress and a pharmacy and is now, alas, someone else's villa.
To the untrained eye, Mr. Snicket's hometown would not appear to be filled with secrets. Untrained eyes have been wrong before. The aftermath of the scandal was swift, brutal and inaccurately reported in the periodicals of the day. It is true, however, that Mr. Snicket was stripped of several awards by the reigning authorities, including Honorable Mention, the Grey Ribbon and First Runner Up. The High Council reached a convenient if questionable verdict and Mr. Snicket found himself in exile.
Though his formal training was chiefly in rhetorical analysis, he has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. This project, being published serially by HarperCollins, takes him to the scenes of numerous crimes, often during the off-season. Eternally pursued and insatiably inquisitive, a hermit and a nomad, Mr. Snicket wishes you nothing but the best.
Listen to an excerpt from The Carnivorous Carnival
Listen to an excerpt from The Slippery Slope