Synopses & Reviews
Helen Boyd's husband, who had long been open about being a cross-dresser, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her husband were actually to become a woman socially, legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner the same way?
Boyd's first book, My Husband Betty, explored the relationships of cross-dressing men and their partners. Now, She's Not the Man I Married is both a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships. It's for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers who fall anywhere along the gender continuum.
As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don't, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships.
"I've been preparing myself to lose my husband for the past few years,' observes Boyd in this humorous, self-deprecating follow-up to her first memoir, My Husband Betty. 'There is another woman, in a sense. My husband is that other woman, or might become her.' Delving deeply into the question of gender identity, she explores the role of gender and its impact on how and who we love. Boyd, an androgynous-looking heterosexual woman (often mistaken for a lesbian), is married to a heterosexual man, who for the past few years has been 'presenting as female' most of the time.' Betty hasn't yet decided to have 'the surgery,' while Boyd isn't sure she'd be able to stay in the relationship if Betty does fully 'transition' into being a woman. When referring to Betty, Boyd switches back and forth from 'he' to 'she' even within the same sentence portraying the confusion that a 'trans person' presents daily in defining gender. Though she covers her complex topic well, and even includes a chapter of sex advice, Boyd's attempts to conceptualize her experience are unnecessarily repetitive. Part love story, part psychological treatise and part cautionary tale, this book will speak most directly to those who are confronting gender's perplexing contradictions." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)