Synopses & Reviews
Why am I still single?”
If youre single and searching, theres no end to other peoples explanations, excuses, and criticism explaining why you havent found a partner:
Youre too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and youll be fine.”
Youre too desperate. If men think you need them, theyll run scared.”
Youre too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.”
You have low self-esteem. You cant love someone else until youve learned to love yourself.”
Youre too needy. You cant be happy in a relationship until youve learned to be happy on your own.”
Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckels Its Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that theres no one reason why youre singleyou just are.
"'Being single is not a condition to be cured'-especially when the remedy possibly means riding a marry-and-divorce roller-coaster just to avoid loneliness-says author and psychotherapist Ford (Wonderful Ways series; Between Mother and Daughter, Getting over Getting Mad). Instead, singles (this book is ostensibly written for all, but may resonate more with women) should reject the lonely and pathetic stereotypes this status usually carries and embrace life's most lasting relationship-the one with themselves. While some may dismiss this advice as a desperate mantra, Ford skillfully uses her own story and others' anecdotes to show that it's possible to be single and content. As a once happily married young woman, a sudden widow at age 29, then a miserably remarried woman, and finally an abandoned divorcée with a baby and an immense debt, Ford knows how precarious it is to put her happiness in the hands of another. In amusing lessons divided among six sections, she counsels readers on how to marshal their singleness to confront whatever adversities they may be forced endure. This fundamental wisdom should not be lost on couples either; after all, everyone must tread solo sometimes. Ford's playful poking at her own past misadventures in love and denial (like when she went solo to a movie and ordered drinks and popcorn for two) will endear her to struggling singles and inspire many to rejoice in life's singular potential." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
About the Author
Sara Eckel has been a freelance writer for more than fifteen years. Her essays and reported pieces on personal growth and mental wellness have appeared in The New York Times, Salon, Nerve, Glamour, Self, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Forbes, Martha Stewart Living, The Village Voice, Time Out New York, and many other publications. Her short fiction has been published in Speakeasy and Sanskrit. For five years, she wrote a nationally syndicated opinion column on political issues that appeared in more than 200 daily newspapers. She has been awarded writing residencies at the Ucross Foundation, the Millay Colony for the Arts, and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, as well as grants from The Hershey Family Foundation and the Jerome Foundation.