Synopses & Reviews
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. Dealing with this inherently adversarial process can be highly emotional on both sides. But when a divorcing individual is a "persuasive blamer" someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or simply has a high-conflict, manipulative personality - their behavior can have devastating ramifications for their former spouses. Splitting is a legal and psychological guidebook that everyone seeking a divorce from a persuasive blamer should own. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, divorce mediator, and experienced social worker, and Randi Kreger, BPD expert and author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells, it offers readers help for navigating the entire process of divorce: hiring and managing a divorce lawyer, reaching a reasonable settlement, protecting oneself and one's children from emotional and/or physical abuse from the former spouse, resisting false accusations, and getting enforceable court orders. The book also delves into the difficult-to-understand, aggressive behavior of persuasive blamers, offering readers psychological explanations for their former spouse's actions and help for coping emotionally with the spouse's extreme mood swings and impulsivity.* Nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce and approximately 6 million American adults have borderline personality disorder or BPD
Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a ìpersuasive blamerî: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This book is written by Bill Eddy, a family court attorney and therapist, and Randi Kreger, author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells and founder of the popular website www.bpdcentral.com.
Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know bettermany of these persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.
Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.
Turn to this guide to help you:
- Predict what your spouse may do or say in court
- Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking
- Choose a lawyer who understands your case
- Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you
Divorce often leads to unresolved feelings of anger, betrayal, and sadness. The Divorce Recovery Workbook offers a unique approach using mindfulness and positive psychology to help readers cope with these negative emotions so that they can rebuild their lives. With exercises and tips for managing a difficult co-parenting relationship and powerful practices based in self-compassion and forgiveness, readers will learn to heal, forgive, and form new, loving relationships.
If you have recently gone through a divorce, you might have unresolved feelings of anger toward your ex spouse; find yourself reeling from past betrayals both big and small; become stressed when you think about the legal and emotional ramifications of the divorce; or you may even experience symptoms of depression. You are not alone, and there are ways you can start to heal.
The Divorce Recovery Workbook offers a unique approach using mindfulness and positive psychology to help you cope with these negative emotions so that you can start to rebuild your life. Youll learn powerful practices based in self-compassion to help you heal, forgive, and form new, loving relationships. The book also includes helpful exercises and tips for managing a difficult co-parenting relationship.
If youve gone through divorce and are struggling to move on, there comes a moment when you must make a choice. You can let the difficult situation define who you are, or you can use it as a jumping off point for making radical changes in your lifepositive changes that will leave you stronger and happier than ever before! This workbook will help you start.
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people going through a high-conflict custody battle. Readers dealing with overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouses will learn how to find an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips to defend against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during the legal process.
Is your ex-spouse trying to gain custody of your kids? Has he or she launched a campaign to make you look like a bad parent, both in the eyes of your children and the law? You aren’t alone. Unfortunately, high-conflict custody battles are all-too-common in today’s world. So how can you arm yourself with the mental and legal resources needed to survive this difficult time and keep your kids safe?
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people like you who are engaged in a high-conflict custody battle. If you are dealing with an overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouse, you will learn how to find and work with an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips you can use to defend yourself against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during a legal fight.
Going through a divorce is hard, but going through a custody battle can feel like war. Don’t go in unprepared. With this book as your guide, you will be able to navigate this difficult process and learn powerful skills that will help you maintain a healthy relationship with your kids, fight unfair accusations, and uphold your rights as a parent.
About the Author
Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a national expert on parental alienation and has written a seminal book on the topic, Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome, published by W. W. Norton & Company. In addition to conducting trainings around the country for parents as well as legal and mental health professionals, Baker has written dozens of scholarly articles on topics related to parent/child relationships and has appeared on national TV, including Good Morning America, CNN, and The Joy Behar Show. She has been quoted in The New York Times and U.S. News & World Report, among other print media outlets. Baker graduated from Barnard College, summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa. She has a PhD in human development from Teachers College, Columbia University.
J. Michael Bone, PhD, has a doctorate from the Graduate Faculty of Political and Social Science of the New School for Social Research in New York, NY. He has served as a mental health expert, consultant, and advisor to the court on parental alienation cases around the United States, and maintains a consulting practice in Florida.Brian Ludmer, BComm, LLB, is an attorney whose practice is based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He has a Bachelor of Commerce (1982) and Bachelor of Law (1985) from the University of Toronto. Ludmer has practiced corporate and securities law for twenty-seven years and in parallel he conducts a family law practice focused on situations involving custody disputes, child estrangement, and parental alienation, as well as high net worth divorce litigation and business valuation.
Table of Contents
Preparing yourself -- Understanding borderline and narcissistic personalities -- Blamers and targets : it's all your fault! -- Managing a blamer with an assertive approach -- Preparing for a court battle with a blamer -- Today's divorce court culture -- Hiring a lawyer who understands -- Working with your lawyer to handle predictable crises -- Gathering evidence about your blamer's private persona -- Working with experts and evaluators -- What to expect from the blamer's attorney -- What to expect at a hearing or trial with a blamer -- Considering alternatives to litigation with a blamer -- Managing the rocky postdivorce relationship.