Synopses & Reviews
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. Dealing with this inherently adversarial process can be highly emotional on both sides. But when a divorcing individual is a "persuasive blamer" someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or simply has a high-conflict, manipulative personality - their behavior can have devastating ramifications for their former spouses. Splitting is a legal and psychological guidebook that everyone seeking a divorce from a persuasive blamer should own. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, divorce mediator, and experienced social worker, and Randi Kreger, BPD expert and author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells, it offers readers help for navigating the entire process of divorce: hiring and managing a divorce lawyer, reaching a reasonable settlement, protecting oneself and one's children from emotional and/or physical abuse from the former spouse, resisting false accusations, and getting enforceable court orders. The book also delves into the difficult-to-understand, aggressive behavior of persuasive blamers, offering readers psychological explanations for their former spouse's actions and help for coping emotionally with the spouse's extreme mood swings and impulsivity.* Nearly half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce and approximately 6 million American adults have borderline personality disorder or BPD
Review
“Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers’ odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances.”
—Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin and author of Contemplating Divorce and Stronger Day by Day
Review
When three great minds like these collaborate, a prism is created through which a light of wisdom can shine in the darkest of places. A must-read for all people touched by this unfathomable dilemma.”
Judge Michele Lowrance (ret), mediator and author of The Good Karma Divorce and Parental Alienation 911
Review
In each journey through parental alienation, it is easy to lose the way. What seems to be a clear and just path in navigating family court is not always reality. Amy J. L. Baker, Brian Ludmer, and J. Michael Bone have given alienated parents a comprehensive road map that allows them to make their journey through this highly emotional period with level heads and hearts. The authors work empowers readers and leaves them feeling revived, secure, and confident as they travel to their final destination: reunification with their children.”
Jill Egizii, president of the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, USA
Review
The High-Conflict Custody Battle is a joint effort by writers with complementary skills and expertise: Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a research psychologist who has studied child psychological abuse; J. Michael Bone, PhD, is a clinical and forensic psychologist; and Brian Ludmer, BComm, LLB, is an attorney whose practice focusses on high conflict family law. The three authors have created a book that is both scholarly and highly practical, which will be helpful for mothers and fathers who find themselves coping with a difficult, overly litigious marital separation or divorce. The book addresses in detail the personal and legal crises that frequently occur in high-conflict divorce, such as parental alienation; allegations of domestic violence and child sexual abuse; and undertaking a child custody evaluation. It is notable that the authors acknowledge that all the participants in these legal battles have both flaws and biases, so no one is expected to be perfect. Although this book is primarily intended for divorcing parents, it will also be good reading for mental health and legal professionals, including judges.”
William Bernet, MD, professor emeritus in the department of psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN
Review
Having recently tried the most publicized parental alienation case to a successful conclusion, I highly recommend this book for parents coping with an alienating spouse. The authors have provided an effective guide to assist parents through difficult litigation. This book should be read by every targeted parent.”
Jim Pritikin, fellow of The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers
Review
The Divorce Recovery Workbook skillfully integrates uncovering feelings, mindfulness, and compassion to allow the reader to navigate the difficult necessity of post-divorce forgiveness. A very thoughtful, useful, and helpful book.”
Frederic Luskin, PhD, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects, and author of Forgive for Good
Review
Give this one five stars! Rye and Moore have integrated the most up-to-date psychology research into a down-to-earth, practical workbook filled with user-friendly exercises and a spirit of hope. This will be an invaluable tool for any man or woman struggling with the pain of divorce.”
Kenneth I. Pargament, PhD, professor of psychology at Bowling Green State University, and author of Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy
Review
In
The Divorce Recovery Workbook, Rye and Moore provide an excellent applied workbook for you if youve been dealing with the loss of a marriage or long-term relationship. In fact, as I read the manuscript, I could not help but think that the workbook could help deal with many losses, not just divorce. It adapts evidence-based interventions from positive psychologyforgiveness of self and others, gratitude, benefit-finding, happiness, mindfulness, meaning-finding, and self-compassioninto dealing with your loss. It is a wonderful adaptation of respected scholarship so that you can benefit by it.”
Everett L. Worthington, Jr., PhD, professor and director of the counseling psychology program at Virginia Commonwealth University, and author of Moving Forward
Review
Divorce is painful, but it can be navigated with compassion. This wonderful book contains concrete tools that will help you learn how to support yourself through this trying time, so youll emerge happier, healthier, and whole again.”
Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in human development and culture, University of Texas at Austin, and author of Self-Compassion
Review
Divorce is a process that often leaves one emotionally raw, hurt, and angry. Its critical that you take the time to heal from the emotional fallout of divorceand, all too often, people dont do the work or know what to do. If you want an effective action plan and strategies to move forward to build a better life post-divorce, this book is it! It's a must-read for all my divorce coaching clients.”
Deborah Moskovitch, divorce coach and author of The Smart Divorce
Review
Reading the book is a sheer delight. You feel like the authors are sitting and talking with you about the struggles of divorce, and ever so gently and professionally offering a series of well-proven, positive psychology remedies for coping. This is a positive, insightful, and compassionate approach.”
Loren L. Toussaint, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Luther College, and associate director of Sierra Leone Forgiveness Project
Review
Rye and Moore have developed a powerful and practical resource for those struggling with the pain of divorce. This workbook is personally engaging and easy to read, and it is firmly grounded in empirical research. Rye and Moore manage to strike just the right balance. ”
Julie Exline, PhD, professor of psychology and director of clinical training at Case Western Reserve University
Synopsis
Splitting is an essential legal and psychological guide for anyone divorcing a ìpersuasive blamerî: someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This book is written by Bill Eddy, a family court attorney and therapist, and Randi Kreger, author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells and founder of the popular website www.bpdcentral.com.
Synopsis
Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know bettermany of these persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.
Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.
Turn to this guide to help you:
- Predict what your spouse may do or say in court
- Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking
- Choose a lawyer who understands your case
- Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you
Synopsis
Divorce often leads to unresolved feelings of anger, betrayal, and sadness. The Divorce Recovery Workbook offers a unique approach using mindfulness and positive psychology to help readers cope with these negative emotions so that they can rebuild their lives. With exercises and tips for managing a difficult co-parenting relationship and powerful practices based in self-compassion and forgiveness, readers will learn to heal, forgive, and form new, loving relationships.
Synopsis
If you have recently gone through a divorce, you might have unresolved feelings of anger toward your ex spouse; find yourself reeling from past betrayals both big and small; become stressed when you think about the legal and emotional ramifications of the divorce; or you may even experience symptoms of depression. You are not alone, and there are ways you can start to heal.
The Divorce Recovery Workbook offers a unique approach using mindfulness and positive psychology to help you cope with these negative emotions so that you can start to rebuild your life. Youll learn powerful practices based in self-compassion to help you heal, forgive, and form new, loving relationships. The book also includes helpful exercises and tips for managing a difficult co-parenting relationship.
If youve gone through divorce and are struggling to move on, there comes a moment when you must make a choice. You can let the difficult situation define who you are, or you can use it as a jumping off point for making radical changes in your lifepositive changes that will leave you stronger and happier than ever before! This workbook will help you start.
Synopsis
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people going through a high-conflict custody battle. Readers dealing with overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouses will learn how to find an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips to defend against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during the legal process.
Synopsis
Is your ex-spouse trying to gain custody of your kids? Has he or she launched a campaign to make you look like a bad parent, both in the eyes of your children and the law? You aren’t alone. Unfortunately, high-conflict custody battles are all-too-common in today’s world. So how can you arm yourself with the mental and legal resources needed to survive this difficult time and keep your kids safe?
In The High-Conflict Custody Battle, a team of legal and psychology experts present a practical guidebook for people like you who are engaged in a high-conflict custody battle. If you are dealing with an overtly hostile, inflammatory, deceitful, or manipulative ex-spouse, you will learn how to find and work with an attorney and prepare for a custody evaluation. The book also provides helpful tips you can use to defend yourself against false accusations, and gives a realistic portrayal of what to expect during a legal fight.
Going through a divorce is hard, but going through a custody battle can feel like war. Don’t go in unprepared. With this book as your guide, you will be able to navigate this difficult process and learn powerful skills that will help you maintain a healthy relationship with your kids, fight unfair accusations, and uphold your rights as a parent.
About the Author
Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a national expert on parental alienation and has written a seminal book on the topic, Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome, published by W. W. Norton & Company. In addition to conducting trainings around the country for parents as well as legal and mental health professionals, Baker has written dozens of scholarly articles on topics related to parent/child relationships and has appeared on national TV, including Good Morning America, CNN, and The Joy Behar Show. She has been quoted in The New York Times and U.S. News & World Report, among other print media outlets. Baker graduated from Barnard College, summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa. She has a PhD in human development from Teachers College, Columbia University.
J. Michael Bone, PhD, has a doctorate from the Graduate Faculty of Political and Social Science of the New School for Social Research in New York, NY. He has served as a mental health expert, consultant, and advisor to the court on parental alienation cases around the United States, and maintains a consulting practice in Florida.Brian Ludmer, BComm, LLB, is an attorney whose practice is based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He has a Bachelor of Commerce (1982) and Bachelor of Law (1985) from the University of Toronto. Ludmer has practiced corporate and securities law for twenty-seven years and in parallel he conducts a family law practice focused on situations involving custody disputes, child estrangement, and parental alienation, as well as high net worth divorce litigation and business valuation.
Table of Contents
Preparing yourself -- Understanding borderline and narcissistic personalities -- Blamers and targets : it's all your fault! -- Managing a blamer with an assertive approach -- Preparing for a court battle with a blamer -- Today's divorce court culture -- Hiring a lawyer who understands -- Working with your lawyer to handle predictable crises -- Gathering evidence about your blamer's private persona -- Working with experts and evaluators -- What to expect from the blamer's attorney -- What to expect at a hearing or trial with a blamer -- Considering alternatives to litigation with a blamer -- Managing the rocky postdivorce relationship.