Synopses & Reviews
What happens when children are more mature than their parents? Growing up with an emotionally unavailable, immature, or selfish parent is painful, but rarely discussed. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson exposes an often overlooked, yet extremely common syndrome that shapes the lives of so many people.
Are you one of the countless people who grew up with emotionally immature parents? If you suffer from this troubling parent/child dynamic, you may still recall painful moments from your childhood when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of maturity in an effort to compensate” for your parents behavior. And while you likely cultivated strengths such as self-reliance and independence along the waystrengths that have served you well as an adulthaving to be the emotionally mature person in your relationship with your parent is confusing and even damaging. If you are ready to gain the insight you need to move on from feelings of loneliness and abandonment and find healthy ways to meet your own emotional needs, this book will help light the way. Youll discover the four main types of emotionally immature parents:
- Emotional parents, who may vacillate between over-involvement and abandonment, leading to frightening instability and unpredictability
- Driven parents, who are often compulsively busy and cant stop trying to perfect everything, including other people
- Passive parents, who may have a laissez-faire mindset and avoid dealing with anything upsetting
- Rejecting parents, who may withdraw from any relationship with their child, showing either detachment or anger as primary responses
All emotionally immature parents have one defining characteristic in common, even if they differ in stylenone of them puts their childs needs first. This book will show you that you are not to blame for your parents behavior. It also offers real skills for handling difficult family situations and moving on from the emotional wounds of your childhood. If you are ready to gain a greater understanding of both your parents and yourself
, this book provides a much-needed guide.
Reckless and impulsive behavior, recurrent suicidal behavior, and anger management issues are just a few of the symptoms exhibited by people with BPD, so it is no wonder that their loved ones often seek outside help for salvaging their relationships. When Stop Walking on Eggshells was first published, it gave new hope to thousands of people with friends and family members suffering from borderline personality disorder (BPD).
This second edition has been fully updated and includes new revisions that make the book even easier to read. Stop Walking on Eggshells, Second Edition, features shorter chapters, bulleted lists, and updated information on medications. The new edition also teaches readers a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skill called validation that can help them compassionately, but firmly, set boundaries with their loved ones. Readers will discover the different methods clinicians use to treat BPD and learn how they can help their loved one find the best treatment method and therapist.
Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel as though you are constantly trying to avoid confrontation?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should remember this: Its not your fault. And youre not alone. In fact, the person you care about may have traits associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD), such as emotion dysregulation, impulsive behavior, unstable sense of self, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships. No matter how much you want to be there for your loved one, at times it can feel like you are walking on eggshells.
This compassionate guide will enable you to:
- Make sense out of the chaos
- Stand up for yourself and assert your needs
- Defuse arguments and conflicts
- Protect yourself and others from violent behavior
Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life.
This second edition has been fully updated to include different methods clinicians use to treat borderline personality disorder, and explains how readers can help their loved one find the best treatment method and therapist.
This revised and updated edition of the best-selling Stop Walking on Eggshells helps the friends and family members of people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) understand the condition, help their loved ones find effective treatment, and stop feeling as though they are walking on eggshells to avoid confrontations with BPD sufferers.
What happens when children are more mature than their parents? Growing up with an emotionally unavailable, immature, or selfish parent is painful, but rarely discussed. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson exposes an often overlooked, yet extremely common syndrome that shapes the lives of so many people. Gibson also provides powerful skills to help the adult children of self-centered parents gain the insight they need to move on from feelings of loneliness and abandonment, and find healthy ways to meet their own emotional needs.
Grounded in proven-effective dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) principles, Families and Borderline Personality Disorder offers a practical, skills-oriented program for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship with a family member suffering from borderline personality disorder.
Both fearful of abandonment and prone to impulsive, inappropriate behaviors that typically drive others away, people with BPD often have unstable relationships with those closest to them. There may seem to be no end to the arguments, accusations, and guilt both BPD sufferers and their families face. The program in Families and Borderline Personality Disorder was developed by dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Alan Fruzzetti to help family members of people with BPD manage their emotions and reactions in ways that not only help their family member with BPD, but also enable family members to remain consistent with their own personal boundaries and values.
Founded on the core principle of reciprocity, this program helps family members take a blame-free approach to interacting with their loved one with BPD. The program encourages readers to act in ways that reflect their own core values, shows readers how to validate the BPD sufferer in their life in order to help him or her to develop emotion regulation skills, and offers skills for drawing boundaries so that readers do not internalize blame, guilt, or a sense of responsibility for their loved oneís actions and responses. Readers also learn the same DBT skills that are so helpful to BPD sufferers themselves in order to reduce stress and conflict, decrease feelings of depression and hopelessness, and build the familyís support for their loved one with BPD. The program in this book has already been used successfully with thousands of families, and has been proven effective by an independent study. By learning and applying these skills, families can remain strong and supportive, forming the perfect environment for helping BPD sufferers recover and learn and practice skills for helping themselves.
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parents behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, youll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
- The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
- The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
- The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
- The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
About the Author
Paul T. Mason, MS, is vice president of clinical services at Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare in Racine, WI. Under his leadership, the mental health and addiction care service line has expanded the number of inpatient services and outpatient programs it provides for patients, family members, and loved ones affected by borderline personality disorder (BPD). His research on BPD has been published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology and his written work has appeared in the news and print media.
Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of family members who have a loved one with BPD to an international forefront through her website, www.bpdcentral.com, and the Welcome to Oz online support community. Through Eggshells Press, she offers family members a wide variety of more specialized booklets and other materials. She was also instrumental in the formation of the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN), a not-for-profit organization. Kreger is author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and The Essential Family Member Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. She speaks and gives workshops about BPD internationally.
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