INTRODUCTION
What This Book Will Do for You
As a business psychologist who’s trained and coached more than
6,000 people, I’ve seen that some are surfing the wave of stressenergetically
and confidently turning out successful projects —while
others are merely surviving. There’s a clear skillset that distinguishes
one group from the other. You already have a treasure trove of tools
at your disposal, but you might not know how to access them.
Once you learn the secrets to Success Under Stress, watch your
stock rise. Indeed, 71% of senior executives around the world reported
that the resilience to turn obstacles into opportunities is
“very” to “extremely” important in determining whom to retain.1
Business owners who have a strategic approach to their day see a
rapid growth in their business.
I wrote Success Under Stress so that you can make your mark on
your organization and be the go-to person in your field, without sacrificing
quality of life. No longer will challenging events define your
day or the business results you get. You will cope better with stresses,
but more than that, you’ll know how to replace obstacles with opportunities
so that you eliminate what’s causing the stress. You’ll be able
to take charge of your workload and cut through complexity to see
new ideas that will help you stand out from the pack. You’ll know how
to motivate and influence others to follow your suggestions (and stop
wasting energy on frustration). You’ll develop the courage to speak
up in meetings and to pursue clients that may seem above your level.
Whenever you feel challenged or stuck, you’ll have the tools you need
to move through the situation and make it go your way.
Success Under Stress goes beyond the conventional wisdom of eat
right, get enough sleep and, if things get really hectic, “take a deep
breath and walk around the block.” Many people are finding these
approaches helpful, but insufficient for the way modern-day demands
interfere with their achievement and quality of life. This book will
show you how to approach any challenging situation by:
• Changing Your Perspective. A new point of view helps find new
solutions.
• Changing Your Physiology. Get focused when you’re overwhelmed,
energized when you’re exhausted, and calm when you’re
wired or frustrated.
• Changing the Problem. Solve your stresses at the root cause and
you won’t have to face them again!
From the very first time you use any one of the tools in this book,
you’ll notice an immediate decrease in stress and an increase in effectiveness.
And when you use tools from all three of these approaches
you’ll be able to turn around any challenging situation.
Best of all: Because I know how busy you are, almost every one
of the tools in this book can be learned and implemented in three
minutes or less. And what will you get?
• More control in your life.You will go from an experience of
“running around” to thinking clearly and accomplishing intended
results. You’ll feel more in control of your schedule. You’ll
be able to reduce the stress of living in fear that you’ll overlook
important work or miss out on client opportunities. You’ll achieve
this by making use of your greatest talents. You’ll clear away
what’s been draining your time and energy; you’ll be able to say
“no” to the tasks and projects that don’t hit your “sweet spot.”
• Steady energy and enthusiasm left over at the end of the day. In
this book, you will find tools that enable you to be “On” and
“Off ” at will. That means you can focus when you need to, and
yet also relax when you want to, so you can rejuvenate, enjoy
yourself, and sleep through the night. You’ll achieve the balance
of high-quality work and a satisfying life, minus the internal selfinduced
pressure to please everybody. If you’re prone to beating
yourself up, if you think you’re not as good as your counterparts,
or if you take things too personally, you’ll learn how to get back
to a positive outlook and positive energy. If you fear speaking up
in a meeting or you’re reluctant to pick up the phone and call a
prospect you think won’t want to hear from you, you’ll have the
confidence you need to “go for it.” If you have to deal with someone
who aggravates you, you’ll know how to calm your frustration
and redirect the situation toward a good resolution. You
will know how to take the emotion out of situations and prevent
reactions that drain you.
• Opportunities out of obstacles. You’ll learn how to solve problems
and dissipate stress —by adjusting when, for example, priorities
change or when someone doesn’t respond to your request.
You’ll learn a mindset and skill set that will thrive in this time of
flux. You’ll discover how to “tolerate—even enjoy—recalibrating
careers, business models, and assumptions.”2 Soon, you’ll see
emerging trends and get out of your comfort zone while you’re
still ahead of the curve. Or, if you feel “stuck” in your circumstances,
seeing only the obstacles—production delays, lack of
advancement opportunities, the inability to achieve your financial
goals—you will learn how to turn these situations around and
create success from them.
This book is for you if you:
• Work in an overwhelming environment where you have to influence
people to get things done.
• Own your own business where you “wear all the hats.”
• Seek to ease your financial stress and feel you’re stretched thin.
• Face a lack of self-confidence that causes you to “get in your own
way” or are reactive in relationships (especially with difficult people).
Here’s the game plan to provide you with the tools for Success Under
Stress.
Section I is about reclaiming your power to succeed in the New
Normal.
Chapter 1: From Survival Under Stress to Success Under Stress
You will discover how you get caught up in the stress of your day, and
how easy it is have an experience in which you feel on top of situations.
Chapter 2: Controlling What You Can Control: The 50% Rule
There is only one rule you need to follow to dramatically increase
productivity and goal achievement—and decrease stress. You will
learn it in this chapter.
Section II is about stress caused by too much to do and too many
obstacles.
Chapter 3: Changing Obstacles to Opportunities
Shift your days away from a bombardment of other people’s demands
and toward the results you desire. Learn how to turn obstacles into
opportunities. Maintain a positive outlook and progress on your personal
goals, but also learn healthy detachment if you must remain in
a stressful work environment.
Chapter 4: Get the Calm and Focus of a Yoga Class in 3 Minutes
(or Less) During Busy Work Days
Learn the secret to higher performance and creative problem solving:
it’s the ability to have clear focus and all-day energy, balanced with
the ability to wind down and rejuvenate on demand. You will learn
how to achieve the calm and mental clarity you get from a 90-minute
yoga class in three minutes or less while at your desk. And you’ll learn
how to get back to sleep in three minutes if you wake up worrying
about work at night. Be present at work when you are at work, and be
present at home when you are at home. Enjoy time away from work
without feeling guilty.
Chapter 5: Strategies to Reduce Overload When Everything Is
a Priority Reduce the inflow of requests to which you must respond and make
faster progress on projects. Choose the right things to work on and
focus on them without letting anything fall through the cracks—even
while getting pulled in many directions. Be even more effective—get
things done right the first time, get results from your meetings, and
solve problems more quickly. Though you still have to contend with the
24/7 demands for your attention, you will be the one to decide when you
are available—and you will earn others’ respect in the process.
Section III is about learning not to fear what other people think and
tackling self-imposed stress.
Chapter 6: The Fastest Way to Build Confidence
Do you seek other people’s approval, live in fear of how you’ll be
judged, procrastinate, or fear to ask for the promotion, raise, or professional
fees you deserve? Stop wasting your time and energy. Instead,
get on the fast track to self-assurance.
Chapter 7: Quick Fixes to Eliminate Anxiety
Need a shot of confidence? Get anxious before presentations? No
problem. You’ll learn all about an “inner pharmacy” you can access
instantly. Also learn how to reverse trends in your stress system so
you can get back your fearlessness and focus.
Chapter 8: Techniques for Turning Self-Criticism into
Self-Confidence
You’ll learn to trust your own judgment and make decisions swiftly
(without agonizing). And, you’ll learn how to apply your new-found
confidence to move past perfectionism and procrastination. At last,
you’ll know how to “get out of your own way!”
Section IV is about how to handle relationship stress.
Chapter 9: How to Stay Rational When Someone Is Driving
You Nuts
Do you take things too personally? You will learn practical tools to
stay calm and poised instead of reacting or saying things you may
later regret. No longer will you be hijacked and stressed out by difficult
people. You’ll always be the person in the room who is respected
for staying factual and showing leadership.
Chapter 10: Shift Instantly from Anger to a Cool Head
Learn how to stay cool, calm, and collected even when dealing with
someone who makes you seethe with anger, frustration, and impatience
(and, even more magically, you’ll learn how to calm the other
person as well.) Yes, you can use it at home with your kids! You will
learn how to clear the build up of negative emotions.
Chapter 11: How to Get Other People to Stop Stressing You Out
What’s the next best thing to having a remote control button to make
people act the way you want them to? To be able to impact and influence
other people’s behavior so things get done faster and smoother. You’ll
know exactly how to approach someone who isn’t delivering, and how
to influence him or her to meet deadlines on time with no mistakes.
Section V is about how to create Success Under Stress all around you.
Chapter 12: A New Perspective on Balancing Your Work and Life
Expand your definition of work–life balance beyond the number of
hours you spend at and away from the office. See that as you have
balance within your day and in your own reactions to stress, you will
have greater balance in your overall work and life. Learn strategies
that are working in the current times to achieve greater control over
choices for work–life effectiveness.
Chapter 13: Call to Action: Getting Others to Own Their 50%
As you experience Success Under Stress, you can stop other people
from stressing out and raise the game of the people you work and live
with. That is the way to create a culture you want to be a part of,
whether it’s on your team, in your organization, or in your family.
Each strategy in this book will help you lift yourself beyond circumstances
that you’re just trying to survive—and step up to be
more effective in your group; an innovator and intrapreneur within
your organization; and a leader in your field, your network, and your
community. Don’t wait for others to approve of you. Don’t wait for
things to change before you can feel less stressed. Simply use the
strategies in this book to achieve Success Under Stress.