Synopses & Reviews
Both fearful of abandonment and prone to impulsive, inappropriate behaviors that typically drive others away, people with BPD often have unstable relationships with those closest to them. There may seem to be no end to the arguments, accusations, and guilt both BPD sufferers and their families face. The program in Families and Borderline Personality Disorder was developed by dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Alan Fruzzetti to help family members of people with BPD manage their emotions and reactions in ways that not only help their family member with BPD, but also enable family members to remain consistent with their own personal boundaries and values.
Founded on the core principle of reciprocity, this program helps family members take a blame-free approach to interacting with their loved one with BPD. The program encourages readers to act in ways that reflect their own core values, shows readers how to validate the BPD sufferer in their life in order to help him or her to develop emotion regulation skills, and offers skills for drawing boundaries so that readers do not internalize blame, guilt, or a sense of responsibility for their loved oneís actions and responses. Readers also learn the same DBT skills that are so helpful to BPD sufferers themselves in order to reduce stress and conflict, decrease feelings of depression and hopelessness, and build the familyís support for their loved one with BPD. The program in this book has already been used successfully with thousands of families, and has been proven effective by an independent study. By learning and applying these skills, families can remain strong and supportive, forming the perfect environment for helping BPD sufferers recover and learn and practice skills for helping themselves.
“If Stop Walking on Eggshells has become the bible for people with a borderline family member, I predict that Surviving a Borderline Parent will become the ‘must have’ book for people who have a parent with borderline traits. Authors Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman have done a stunning job of validating the isolating experience of these ‘adult children,’ and more importnantly, shown them how to overcome the constant feelings of guilt, abnormality, and self-doubt. This book belongs on the shelf of every clinician and adult child with a borderline parent.”
—Randi Kreger, author of Stop Walking on Eggshells
“Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman provide comprehensive guidelines for adult children with borderline parents that help create balance and boundaries in these tumultuous relationships. The authors point to the need to break the ‘silent treatment’ around Borderline Personality Disorder and encourage clinicians to educate patients and family members about this diagnosis. This book is well worth the investment for any adult child with a borderline parent.”
—Christine A. Lawson, Ph.D., author of Understanding the Borderline Mother
“Life with a ‘normal’ parent can be hard enough. All of us have stories about low points in growing up. But ultimately we can look back on childhood with a warm feeling about our parents and feel that we were loved and nurtured. Not so for children of a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder. These adult kids may need to do years of work to recover from the narcissism of their caregivers. Surviving a Borderline Parent provides life-affirming signposts to the road back to emotional health.”
—Ross Werland, health editor for the Chicago Tribune
A well-written, insightful resource offering hope and power to those challenged by the presence of a depressed parent. Children of the Depressed
provides readers with the ability to understand and overcome a difficult period. More importantly, it offers a road map to the healing process.”
Linda O'Connor, freelance writer and host of Parent Talk, a weekly parenting radio show on Timeless FM 102.9 and AM 1230 WECK in Buffalo, NY
As children, few of us understood the lasting impact that living with a depressed parent would have on our lives. Shoshana S. Bennett demystifies this phenomenon in an easy to understand book that provides not only the understanding of what children experience, but practical steps that lead to lifelong healing.”
Patricia de Lambert, RN, BS, MA
Children of the Depressed
should be required reading for everyone! Shoshana S. Bennett has created a concise, clearly written, and inspirational guidebook. I could relate personally, since my father was bipolar and I was also depressed while raising my children. Thank you, Dr. Shosh, for this unique and timely book.”
Jane Honikman, MS, cofounder of Postpartum Education for Parents and founder of Postpartum Support International
Shoshana S. Bennett intimately understands depression and offers other children of depressed parents enlightened ways of getting to a better place. Combine that with insight, practical exercises, and clear therapeutic processes, and you have a book that feels as though it was written while gently holding a child of depressed parents in her loving arms.”
Suzi Snyder, PhD, lifelong learner and educator who looks to transform lives through a combination of life coaching, Eden Energy Medicine, and ancient feng shui principles
Lovingly drawing from her personal and clinical experience, [Bennetts book] is a gift to everyone who has had a depressed parent. Shoshana S. Bennett shows how a depressed parent may affect you and how you can heal. Whether you are sixteen or 106if you think you had or have a depressed parent, this common-sense book can change your life and relationships!”
Bruce Linton, PhD, director of the Fathers Forum and the author of Becoming a Dad: How Fatherhood Changes Men
This book is a must-read for adults who grew up with a depressed parent. Shoshana S. Bennett provides easy-to-understand information and offers realistic hope. The book is filled with practical tools to promote healing.”
Barbara Grelling, PhD, clinical psychologist in private practice specializing in the treatment of women with perinatal depression and anxiety
Children of the Depressed
provides a compassionate, honest, and thoughtful guide for adults who are on a journey of healing the wounds of their childhood. Through stories, clinical research, and experience, Shoshana S. Bennett offers sage advice on how to understand and overcome the consequences of living with a depressed parent. She shines a bright light on the path to living a full and meaningful life. I know many people will be deeply grateful for this book.”
Rona Renner, RN, temperament counselor, parenting coach, and author of Is That Me Yelling?
Brilliantly written by the renowned clinical psychologist, Shoshana S. Bennett, Children of the Depressed
offers help and hope to those who grew up with a depressed parent. Powerful and inspirational, this book provides eye-opening explanations, real-life examples, and concrete solutions on how to achieve a more meaningful and fulfilling life despite the challenges of childhood.”
Svetlana Blitshteyn, MD, director and founder of Amherst Neurology and Dysautonomia Clinic and coauthor of POTS: Together We Stand
Surviving a Borderline Parent is the first step-by-step guide for adult children of parents with borderline personality disorder.
Between 6 and 10 million people in the US suffer from borderline personality disorder. This book teaches adult children how to overcome the devastating effects of growing up with a parent who suffers from BPD.
Although relatively common, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.
Symptoms of this problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities.
If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition.
Those raised by a BPD parent endured a volatile and painful childhood. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person with this disorder. Readers discover coping strategies for dealing with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.
In Children of the Depressed, a depression expert helps adult children understand and overcome common problems that stem from growing up with a depressed parent, such as poor communication skills and negative self-talk. Using skills and practices rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), readers will learn to shed the old dynamics and ways of thinking that have been weighing them down. By identifying and recognizing the feelings they experienced at a young age, readers will start laying the groundwork for a happier and healthier lifesocially, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
Have you ever wondered, Why am I so negative? or Why is my life so chaotic? Whether or not your parent was ever formally diagnosed with depression, youve probably always known there was something different about your upbringing. And even though youve grown up and moved on, you may still feel the after-effects of living with your parents illness. In Children of the Depressed, a depression expert helps adult children understand and overcome common problems that stem from growing up with a depressed parent, such as poor communication skills and negative self-talk. Using skills and practices rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you will learn to shed the old dynamics and ways of thinking that have been weighing you down and keeping you from enjoying healthy relationships and the life you deserve.
Most books on depression only focus on getting help for the depressed person. This book is written for you, the adult child of parents with who have struggled with depression. You need emotional healing after a dysfunctional childhood, and most importantlyyou need an opportunity for your voice to be heard. You dont have to become stuck in the past. By identifying and recognizing the feelings you experienced at a young age, you will start laying the groundwork for a happier and healthier lifesocially, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
Grounded in proven-effective dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) principles, Families and Borderline Personality Disorder offers a practical, skills-oriented program for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship with a family member suffering from borderline personality disorder.
About the Author
Shoshana S. Bennett, PhD
, is a pioneer in the field of parental depression and its effects on children. A clinical psychologist and media expert, Bennett has inspired and transformed countless lives worldwide through her radio shows, books, and videos. She is the creator of the free app PPD Gone!
, author of several books, including Postpartum Depression for Dummies
, and a past president of Postpartum Support International. Bennett has trained thousands of medical, mental health, and newborn care professionals on the topic of parental depression, providing common-sense tools to overcome these conditions and protect children. To find out more, visit www.DrShosh.com
Foreword writer Nelson Branco, MD, is a practicing pediatrician in Marin County, CA. He is the managing partner of Tamalpais Pediatrics, and has worked in varied settings providing primary care to children and teens over the past two decades.
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