Synopses & Reviews
How can you handle the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. You might need to interact with some of them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one-so sometimes it just doesn't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. Disarming the Narcissist offers a host of effective strategies for dealing effectively with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe.
Disarming the Narcissist will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
Review
"Our deepest disappointment is not living true to ourselves. Drawing from both western psychology and mindfulness teachings, Micki Fine shines a clear light on our habits of seeking approval, and offers meditations that free us to live from our own natural compassion and intelligence.”
Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge
Review
"The Need to Please is an important book. It reveals the pain of leaving yourself and looking for love in all the wrong places. You will discover that all you've been longing for is within youthat it was never outside of you. May this wise book with its practices of mindfulness and compassion guide you into your heart."
Bob Stahl, PhD, coauthor of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Living with Your Heart Wide Open, and Calming the Rush of Panic
Review
"This impressive book describes how the practice of mindfulness can bring new awareness to moments of acquiescence that are driven by fear, self-doubt, or rejection. Written with kindness and sensitivity, it provides an experientially grounded road map for recovering elements of true worth and inner strength that can inform a more authentic approach to interpersonal encounters.”
Zindel V. Segal, author of The Mindful Way through Depression and professor of psychology at the University of Toronto
Review
With clarity and skill, Micki Fines book deepens understanding by illuminating the root causes of the struggle and anxiety associated with needing to please, and step-by-step, engages the reader in a path of discovery and freedom through the practice of mindfulness and kindness.”
Florence Meleo-Meyer, MS, MA, director at the Oasis Institute for Professional Training and Education at the Center for Mindfulness, University of Massachusetts Medical School
Review
This wonderful and practical book will help you release your dependence on others' approval and find the self-acceptance and kindness you actually need.”
Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion
Review
The Need to Please is a step-by-step guide that shows how to progress at your own pace, toward your own specific goals, in ways that are most comfortable and useful to you. Readers will develop a deeper love for themselves and others, as well as a more peaceful and fulfilled life experience. Give it a tryyou wont be disappointed!”
Linda Bell, PhD, professor of communication and family health, Indiana University, and a mindfulness-based family systems therapist and supervisor
Review
This beautiful book is truly precious for all of us who have been caught in the trance of unworthiness and felt that we needed to become pleasing in order to be loved or even tolerable. Fine offers us a way to dispel this trance and discover peace, love, and happiness in our lives just as we are.”
Steve Flowers, MFT, author of The Mindful Path through Shyness and coauthor of Living with Your Heart Wide Open
Review
McKay and Fanning recognize the complexity of the human tendency toward self- criticism. Their carefully written, cognitively oriented self-help book wisely avoids simplistic solutions, offering instead a systematic approach to self-eseem development.
—Robert E. Alberti, Ph.D., author of Your Perfect Right
Review
Positive self-esteem is the centerpiece of a healthy personality. McKay and Fanning's new book offers us a valuable storehouse of tactics and strategies for constructing (or renovating) the foundation of our self-esteem.
—Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D., author of Shyness
Review
Self-Esteem is truly a very special title. Good writing is especially necessary for self-help titles.... I feel a special enthusiasm in bringing it to the notice of our audience.
—The Midwest Book Review
Review
"Anyone whose life predicament includes dealing with a narcissist will bewell-advised to read Wendy Behary’s book and heed her advice. Disarming theNarcissist offers sound suggestions and keen insights—a breakthrough in oneof psychology's toughest cases."
—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
Review
"...a valuable contribution to the growing self-help literature on the fascinating subject of narcissism. Behary takes the reader step-by-step through a process of understanding our personal triggers to the wounding inherent in narcissistic relations and then lays out a pathway for personal empowerment and change."
—Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, author of Why Is It Always About You?
Review
"This is a timely and important book. Wendy Behary offers a uniquely well-articulated exploration of the complexities of living with a narcissist, conveyed in a clear and elegant writing style. Disarming the Narcissist provides a treasure of insightful observations and strategies to help those working or living with a narcissist. Behary’s wisdom and warm humanity, together with her wide understanding and successful integration of interpersonal neurobiology and schema therapy, provides a fresh perspective that will help the reader make sense of relationships that often seem so confusing and give them tools to do something about it. I recommend this book heartily. "
—Marion F. Solomon, Ph.D., author of Narcissism and Intimacy and Lean on Me
Review
"For the practicing clinician there is perhaps no other group of clients more difficult to work with or that generates more fear and feelings of inadequacy than narcissists. In Disarming the Narcissist , Behary has provided both the theoretical knowledge and practical advice necessary for clinicians to understand, empathize and, thus, help this challenging group of clients and their partners. Her “disarmingly” straightforward, accessible style and impressive clinical experience make this a very valuable book indeed."
—William M. Zangwill, Ph.D., director of EMDR Associates
Review
"Behary is an exceptionally perceptive, compassionate, and creative clinician and an outstanding teacher. I have always found her immersed at the cutting edge of clinical science and practice. It has been both a privilege and an inspiration to watch her vision and clinical contributions evolve. These remarkable qualities are clearly evident in her new book, which I have no doubt will make a major contribution. It will bring anyone who deals with narcissism fully up to date with the latest our field has to offer, articulated in clear, poignant, and practical terms. "
—George Lockwood, Ph.D., director of the Schema Therapy Institute Midwest in Kalamazoo, MI
Synopsis
In The Need to Please, a leading mindfulness expert and psychotherapist provides compassionate, mindfulness-based techniques that will help chronic people-pleasers address and overcome their fears of failure, inappropriate self-sacrificing, loss of personal identity, and voracious need of approval.
Synopsis
Do you have a hard time saying no to others, no matter how outrageous their requests? If so, you might be a chronic people-pleaser. Unfortunately, because we live in a society that praises putting the needs of others before ourselves, it can be difficult to break this bad habit. And while thinking of others is always commendable, there is a fine line between sacrifice and senseless approval seeking.
In The Need to Please, a leading mindfulness expert and psychotherapist provides compassionate, mindfulness-based techniques that will help chronic people-pleasers like you address and overcome your fears of failure, inappropriate self-sacrificing, loss of personal identity, and voracious need of approval. In addition, you will learn to put an end to the codependent behaviors that lie at the heart of being a people-pleaser.
Change is hardespecially when it means going against years of social conditioning. But if youre ready to Just Say No,” to others demands and start saying, Yes” to your own needs, this book can help.
You can find out more about these mindfulness techniques at www.livingmindfully.org.
Synopsis
This classic guide offering proven cognitive techniques for establishing and maintaining sense of self-worth has been revised to include a new chapter on setting and achieving personal goals.
Synopsis
Self-esteem is essential for our survival. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.
One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide if you like that identity or not. The problem of self-esteem is this human capacity for judgment. Its one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes, or sensations. But when you reject parts of your self, you greatly damage the psycho logical structures that literally keep you alive. Judging and rejecting your self causes enormous pain.
Since its first publication in 1987, Self-Esteem has become the first choice of therapists and savvy readers looking for a comprehensive, self-care approach to improving self-image, increasing personal power, and defining core values. More than 600,000 copies of this book have helped literally millions of readers feel better about themselves, achieve greater success, and enjoy their lives to the fullest.
You can do it, too!
Synopsis
Disarming the Narcissist is a step-by-step guide to treating and communicating with narcissists with compassion and empathy in a way that still preserves the reader's personal boundaries and sanity.
About the Author
Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, is founder and clinical director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and a faculty member at the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York. She is also a distinguished founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She maintains a private practice, specializing in narcissism and high-conflict couples therapy.Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is executive director of the Mindsight Institute and associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine. He is author of The Developing Mind, The Mindful Brain, and other books, and founding editor of the Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology.
Jeffrey Young, PhD, is the author of Schema Therapy: a Practitioner's Guide and founder/director of the Schema Therapy Institute Schema Therapy Institute of New York.