A Conversation with Roger Fishman, author of WHAT I KNOW
1) Q: WHAT I KNOW is an inspirational book filled with insights and wisdom from 10-year old and 100-year olds. What inspired you about this project from the beginning?
When my wife, Courtney, gave birth to our son, Jack, last year, I wanted to pass along the gift my grandfather gave me — to understand that everybody’s story is important and wisdom can literally be discovered from everybody. Then I asked myself where would the most direct, authentic advice come from? I thought it might come from 100-year-olds who had seen it all and 10-year-olds who are just getting started because neither is fully caught up in the juggle of our busy lives through the middle years — raising children, building careers, caring for our parents, discovering the joys of bifocals — and this might just give them a fresh, unfiltered perspective on life!
2) Q: This book seems like it has a little bit of something in it for everyone. Did you have a clear audience in mind while you were putting this together?
3) Q: You mention that your Grandfather was a major source of inspiration for you. Can you share with us your fondest memory of him?
My grandfather, Jacob, was a remarkable man and his kindness and generosity made a lasting impression on me. I’ll always look back on the meals we shared together at the local Waldorf cafeteria as some of my fondest memories. He had a special way of making me and everyone around us, strangers included, feel right at home. As we’d slowly walk down the line of the cafeteria, he and I would discuss the different foods, their colors and shapes, and my excitement for a hamburger patty, mashed potatoes and peas all swimming in a sea of delicious brown gravy. He would speak to each person we passed like he had stumbled upon a favorite long-lost cousin; he made them all feel counted, and he made me feel like I was in the very center of a perfectly warm universe. And boy, did we ever eat! “Aw come on,” he’d rib my mother as he insisted on walking me back for seconds and then thirds, “he’s a growing boy!” To this day, I still recall my loving grandfather and those lukewarm cafeteria hamburgers in gravy!
4) Q: What kind of relationship does your son Jack enjoy with his grandparents?
My mom, who is 79 years old, just made a cross-country move from Boston to Los Angeles. The number one reason she did is to be closer to her grandson, Jack. In fact, she actively “volunteers” to baby sit him under the guise that she wants me and my wife to have more time together. They share a very warm and special relationship, and I feel it’s a blessing that my son will get to know his grandmom as he grows up. It is one of the greatest gifts my mother could give.
5) Q: While the wisdom gathered came from two opposite sides of the age spectrum, did you see any common threads throughout?
For both age groups, a significant part of a life worth living is the meaningful relationships one develops with family, friends and people you meet throughout life.
What both surprised and impressed me was the level of wisdom that 10-year-olds shared on the importance of family, friendship and love. And of course, the 100-year-olds have seen and experienced it all and they too came back to the core of what seems to matter most for all of us - authentic, meaningful and personal relationships.
6) Q: You’ve created a wonderful website, www.WhatIKnowthebook.com, where people can share their own wisdom. Are there any insights in the book or stories from people who have shared their wisdom online that have touched you personally?
7) Q: Is there an implicit message to parents in the advice that their younger and older generations offer?
There definitely is a message to parents and I think a great example of this comes from a 100-year-old I met named, Murray Odel. Through Murray and his three sons, I saw a wonderful real-life example of what a lifelong loving father-son relationship can really be. I saw it in the way Murray’s boys care for their father so beautifully and so completely today, giving back the love their father gave them. The full cycle of this relationship really resonated because it happened organically; it was simply the product of Murray’s loving care. As Murray said:
“Family really is the circle of love. Be good to your children and they’ll be good to you. Be kind to your parents and remember that one day they’ll need you to take care of them.”
8) Q: As part of a Hollywood family, how do you stay grounded and live the kind of values that the subjects of your book espouse?
We make a point to recognize our everyday blessings in that we are healthy and have each other, and family and friends, to rely on. In addition to that, I always let my wife and son know how much they mean to me and how much I love them. A big part of reinforcing our family values is through our daily ritual. In the morning, we play in bed together then go downstairs for breakfast and reading time. We take regular morning walks together as a family. At night, we have playtime together before dinner and enjoy our meals together as a family. We stay grounded in our values by recognizing what is important and true to all of us and doing our best to live that every single day.
9) Q: If there was a bit of advice your younger self could share with your older self today, what would it be and why?
10) Q: What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
There are several wishes I have for the readers of this book. The first one is that the wisdom we’ve compiled in the book provides help and hope to the readers in order to make each day a lot more fun, enjoyable and inspiring. Another wish is that the book encourages readers to reconnect with the people whose wisdom has inspired them in their lives — and that they take the time to pass this wisdom along to family, friends and those in need. Finally, that we all slow down a bit in life and reach out to strangers, to learn from, with the hopes of making new friendships that open up our own world to the world around us.