Synopses & Reviews
Each new day.
One new meditation.
One new step forward.
Even if youve read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns.
What you need is something that is there for you every dayto help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one.
Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
To learn to value and respect yourselfeven when your partner makes it very clear that he does noteach day centers on one of seven themes designed to empower, encourage, and inspire you . . .
Each New Day * Clarity * Your Own Best Friend * Your Relationships * Healing * Guiding Children * Surviving to Thrive
You will see the truth in your destructive relationship.
You and your children will survive.
Andwith these encouragementseven tomorrow will be a better day than today.
Praise for Why Does He Do That?
“Bancroft has opened a window into the thinking of abusive men, and his book helps open a door out of abusive relationships.”—Gavin de Becker, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Fear and Fear Less
“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men.”—Jay G. Silverman, PhD, director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
“Jargon-free analysis is frequently broken up by interesting first-person accounts and boxes that distill in-depth information into simple checklists. Bancrofts book promises to be a beacon of calm for many storm-tossed families.”—Publishers Weekly
“Bancroft boldly asks—and brilliantly answers—the most important questions of all: Why do so many men abuse women? What can be done about it? This book is desperately needed and long overdue.”—Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning video Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity
“This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended.”—Library Journal
“At last—the straight scoop on men who abuse women. This is a book not just for abused women and domestic violence professionals, but for everyone who wonders why theres so much violence in America. Read it.”—Ann Jones, author of When Love Goes Wrong and Next Time, Shell Be Dead
“Bancroft helps women who feel trapped in unhealthy relationships make sense out of what is happening.”—Sarah Buel, JD, codirector, Domestic Violence Clinic, and lecturer, University of Texas Law School
“A compelling read about a tough topic. What you read here will come back to you long after you put the book down.”—Angela Browne, author of When Battered Women Kill
“An informative and necessary read.”—Susan Weitzman, PhD, author of Not to People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages
In this groundbreaking book, a leading expert on domestic abuse and its effects turns his unique perspective on the littlest victims of spousal abuse--the children. More than two-thirds of abused women have children, and the overwhelming majority of those children witness one or more incidents of violence. And that number would be even greater if we include children who have watched their mothers be verbally abused and intimidated. Studies have shown that children's exposure to domestic abuse is linked to virtually every category of emotional and behavioral problems. When Dad Hurts Mom offers comfort, understanding, and a concrete plan of action to any woman concerned about the distress being caused to her children by her angry, controlling, or abusive partner. Written for mothers, this book aims to enlighten women about the effects of abuse on children, how an abusive partner distorts familial relationships, and what can be done about it. Abused mothers are desperately seeking guidance on how to help their children heal from the abuse they witness. This is the first book to provide these women with the insight, support, and, most important, the solutions they need. Resources. Index.
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?
Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Here, a counselor reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children-and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.
This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:
- Protect children and help them heal emotionally
- Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
- Increase their chances of winning custody
- Help their kids feel good about themselves
About the Author
has spent the last twenty-five years of his career specializing in the tactics of abusive men and their impact on women and children. He is author of four books in the field, including Why Does He Do That?
, the nation's largest-selling book on domestic abuse, When Dad Hurts Mom
, and co-author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?
. He has also written over a dozen articles in professional publications. The former Co-Director of Emerge, the nations first program for abusive men, he is now a national trainer and public speaker for nonprofit, governmental, and judicial agencies on dealing with domestic abuse situations. Lundy leads weekend healing retreats for women who have escaped destructive relationships.
Table of Contents
When Dad Hurts Mom Preface
One: Partner Abuse Through Children's Eyes and Ears
Part I: The Abusive Man and Your Children
Two: The Abusive Mindset and Children
Three: Abusive Men as Parents
Four: Understanding Your Children's Inner World
Five: Protecting your Children's Boundaries
Part II: The Abusive Man and Family Dynamics
Six: A Weekend with the Abbott Family
Seven: Defending Your Role as Mother
Eight: Maintaining Healthy Dynamics in Your Family
Nine: To Leave or Not to Leave
Ten: Dealing with Child Protective Services
Part III: The Abusive Man and Your Children Post-Separation
Eleven: What Separation and Divorce Mean for Your Children
Twelve: Abusive Men as post-Separation Parents
Thirteen: making your Way in the Family Court System
Part IV: Children Moving Forward
Fourteen: Helping Your Children Heal
Fifteen: Empowering your Children
Sixteen: Stopping the Cycle of Abuse
Hearing the Personal Accounts of Abused Mothers