Synopses & Reviews
From the sneakily successful travel series with over one million copies in print, here is the guide to help travelers gain a foothold in Deutschland. Learn to distinguish between Mettwurst, Fleischwurst, Blutwurst, Schinkenwurst, Touristenwurst, Pinkelwurst, and Zungenwurst. Praise beer like the cognoscenti: "This Malz has a strong oak flavor with a faint almond backwash" and "The tanner, curvaceous Rauchbier displays a fine set of bubbles." Critique Bavarian castles, torment skinheads, and discover all the accepted excuses for backing out of a polka evening.
From the finer points of cultural exchange, such as discussing the cinema ("Why must there be action of any kind in a film? Hollywood's insistence on plot is ridiculous") to making friends in the disco ("I love your black boots/pants/shirt/jacket/hat/lipstick"), this book will make sure no German puts one uber on you again. It's on the Mark.
From the author of the successful Wicked Travel series (over 317,000 copies in print), just the book travelers and students need to gain a foothold in Deutschland. From the finer points of cultural exchange to tormenting skinheads and all the excuses for backing out of a polka evening--this book will make sure no German puts one uber on you again. Illustrations throughout.
A humorous guide to German which shows how to distinguish between Schinkenwurst, Mettwurst and Blutwurst, and reveals the excuses for backing out of a polka evening.
KNOWING THE WURSTS
Was für ein Tier ist das?
Which animal was this?
Bitte zeigen Sie mir die Stelle an Ihren Köper.
Please just point to the place on your own body.
Hmm. Das sieht mir nicht besonders schmackhaft/gesund aus.
Hmm. That doesn't look very tasty/healthful.
Habe ich erwähnt, dab ich mich entschlossen habe, Vegetarier zu werden?
Did I mention that I've decided to become a vegetarian?
About the Author
Howard Tomb is the author of the Wicked Travel books. He also writes for the Sunday Travel Section of the New York Times.
Table of Contents
WELCOME TO GERMANY
ACCOMODATION, FOOD, AND DRINK AND DRINK
- Get a Grip on German…5
- Pronunciation Guide…6
- Talk in the Provinces…7
- Linguistic Disclaimer and Exculpatory Protestation…7
- Hotel Existence…8
- History in Beer…10
- Beer Hall Small Talk…12
- Beer Connoisseurship…13
- A Visit to Blitz…15
- Your Oktoberfest Emergency…16
- Down and Dirty in the Ratskeller…17
- How to Become a German Dishwasher…19
- The Cost of Money…21
- Absolute Wursts…22
- The Wurst of the Wursts…23
- Phone Call for Mr. Kafka…24
- Post Communist…25
- Shopping for Laughs…26
- You and the Swiss Army Knife…28
- Surviving the Autobahn…29
- Road Curses and Fines…30
- Road Signs…31
- The Policeman's Beat…32
- Swerve and Protect…34
- Socialism Through Automobiles…35
- Confessions of a Sinner…36
- Mid-Morning Express…37
- Mystery Train…38
- The Spirit of the Red Baron…40
- The Front Lines…41
ENTERTAINMENT AND NIGHTLIFE
- Grimm Tales of the Black Forest…42
- It's All Happening at the Berlin Zoo…43
- Castle Critique…44
- Crib Sheet to Major German Myths…45
- The Pretty Good Outdoors…48
- How to Pick Up a Rhine Maiden…50
- Man or Superman…51
- Anarchy Rules…52
- The Words of Love and Pastry…54
- Mix & Match Musical Commentary…56
- The Gallant Duelist…58
- Escape from Oompa…59
- Surviving German Romanticism…60
- Magic Mountain of Marks…61
- Promptness Hints…62
- The Inevitable Thank-You Note…64