Synopses & Reviews
For two thousand years visitors have been touring the rugged glory of Greece. But with a difference--when the early Romans went visiting, those wacky Greek gods were still holed up on Mount Olympus. Today they've come down, and they're driving taxis, tending bar, dancing and yelling and throwing plates around restaurants. All of which spells adventure for the unsuspecting tourist, and wonderful opportunity for Howard Tomb.
From the sneakily successful series of travel books with over 1 million copies in print, Wicked Greek is the phrasebook that takes the chaos out of the land that invented it. Here are pithy comments on retsina: "My wine tastes like a handful of pine needles." Tips on consulting the Oracle of the Ferry Schedules, including the Mystery of the Next Departure to Patmos. More than you ever dreamed possible about olives-including black, green, purple, briny, cracked, and this-makes-the-retsina-taste-good. Trojan War stories. Zeno's Paradox, Aristotle's Boo-Boo, Plato's Cave, and other philosophical conundrums that put us in the fix we're in today. Motorbike survival tips. Ella, word of a thousand meanings. And how to pursue romance with the natives.
Synopsis
Howard Tomb is on the road again. Author of the sneakily successful Wicked Travel books -- Wicked French for the Traveler, Wicked Italian for the Traveler, and four other titles, with a total of 993,000 copies in print -- Mr. Tomb now travels to Ireland, enchanted land of blarney, sheep, the McCourts, Guinness, and an incomprehensible language called Irish.
From Dublin on Five Pints an Hour to Genuflection for Beginners, "Wicked Irish" helps visitors negotiate the nuances of a country where even trees are considered Protestant or Catholic. Learn to flatter customs agents: "'Tis a grand machine gun you have there, officer!" Politely decline the heavy Irish breakfast: "I've given up pig entrails/congealed blood for Lent". Show appreciation for fine whiskey: "ACK ACK! Mother Mary! That goes down like a nun's knickers!" There's even a special section just for golfers: "Should I replace divots in consecrated ground? Am I entitled to relief from this dolmen/ewe/leprechaun? Shite! I don't usually lose a putt in the wind".
Synopsis
Put mere mortals in their place with the phrasebook that keeps the gods on your side.
Welcome to the World's First Theme Park
The Ugly Truth about Retsina
Real Men Don't Folk Dance
Zeus, Mighty Playgod
Consulting the Oracle for Ferry Schedules
Medea: What a Bitch!
Aristophanes Unplugged
Visiting Ancient Relics and Their Wives
What All the Widows Will Be Wearing This Summer
Divining the Hotel System
About the Author
Howard Tomb is the author of the Wicked Travel books. He also writes for the Sunday Travel Section of the New York Times.
Table of Contents
CONTENTS
WELCOME TO GREECE- Welcome to Greece…5
- Pronunciation Guide: It's Greek to Me!…6
- Disclaimer…6
- Welcome to the World's First Theme Park…7
- Timeline: Find Your Ancestors…9
GETTING AROUND- Taxi to Agony…10
- Turkish Insultamatic…12
- Bust on the Bus Driver…13
- Trojan Road Warrior…15
- Common Road Signs…16
- Consulting the Oracle for Ferry Schedules…17
- Cruising the Styx…19
- Nautical Deities…20
- Island-Hopping With the Gods…21
- The Winds of Mykonos…22
- The Wild Two…23
- Oedipus Rex's Long and Winding Road…24
CULTURE AND ARTS- Philosophy 101 B.C.…25
- Aristophanes Unplugged…27
- Zeus, Mighty Playgod…28
- Flirting with Danger…29
- Medea: What a Bitch…30
- Saint Olympics…31
THE PRACTICAL TRAVELER- Divining the Hotel Rating System…33
- Labyrinth of the Cheap Trinkets…35
- Reach Out and Touch Someone at Random…37
- Blue Water, Raw Garbage…38
THE PEOPLE- Visiting Ancient Relics and Their Wives…39
- Sick O'Stucco…41
- What All the Widows Will Be Wearing This Summer…42
- Hangin' with the Homies…44
- The Greek Way of Love: Division of Manly Affection…46
- The Greek Way of Love: Division of Classical Coupling…47
- Pagan Prayer…49
FOOD, WINE & ENTERTAINMENT- Point 'n' Tzatziki…50
- Whacking the Squid…51
- Your Waiter & Chaos…54
- The Ugly Truth About Retsina…54
- Olive Drab…55
- Real Men Don't Folk Dance…56
- Creating a Bouzouki-Free Zone…57
- Party-Crashing Tips…59
- The Liquid Salute…61
- Nectar of the Demi-Gods…62
- The Inevitable Thank-You Note…63