Synopses & Reviews
-- ask me, Annie. Ask me what's the worst thing I've done. Ask, goddammit. Because then you'll know I'll never go beyond last night.
Tonight, Annie is driving alone from North Sea to Montauk and back again, as she has every night since her husband, Mason, challenged what she believed about herself and about their marriage. Eating junk food and listening to talk radio, Annie tries to shut out her rage, her pain, but Mason's voice persists within her, as urgent as the voices of the anonymous callers who confess their misery to the radio psychologists.
Once again, Ursula Hegi writes along that border where bliss and sorrow meet. Sensuous, funny, and mysterious, her new novel takes us into an exuberant and troubled friendship. Since early childhood, Annie, Jake, and Mason have had a special bond. When Annie's parents die on the same night that she and Mason are married, the three friends decide to raise Annie's newborn sister, Opal, together.
Annie struggles to be both a sister and a mother to Opal, a wife to Mason, and a friend to Jake. Not surprisingly, their relationships, already entangled, grow dangerous, too close, on the line. One fateful night the three friends miss the moment when they could still turn back, and they goad each other to step across the line, with shocking, unforeseen consequences.
Set on the East End of Long Island, The Worst Thing I've Done is an incandescent story of love, friendship, and marriage; of joy and betrayal;of an artist's struggle to reconnect with her work; and of how we can choose our mothers, our families. Beautifully written and brilliantly vivid, it explores the resilience in the protagonists' lives, and their courage to move forward despite an uncertain future.
"'The troubles specific to triangular relationships are explored with depth and substance in Hegi's complex and affecting latest. Annie, Jake and Mason friends practically from the womb have developed a fraught dynamic sharply affected by competitiveness, attraction and jealousy. The book's opening trauma Mason's suicide serves as a springboard for Hegi to delve into the friends' tangled past: Mason and Annie get married the same night Annie's father and very pregnant mother die in a car wreck. The baby, Opal, survives, and the three friends raise her. But festering attractions Mason to Jake; Jake to Annie lead Mason to cross a line, Annie to want out of the marriage and Jake to fail to act at a pivotal moment. Woven into the mix is the post-WWII story of Annie's immigrant mother, Lotte, and her friend Mechthild, who came to America from Germany to work as au pairs and pretended to be Dutch to avoid persecution. Though a bumper crop of tragedy weighs heavily on this controlled and articulate novel, Hegi (Sacred Time) is an accomplished storyteller; she inhabits different characters and blends the past with the present to tell a rich story of love, death, loyalty and survival.' Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)
"The Worst Thing I've Done is the work of a mature and masterful writer at her peak. The layering -- the collage -- of character and point of view, tragedy and healing, creativity and loss, loyalty and fidelity, love and jealousy, all combine with lyrical prose in a story that resonates long after its end." -- The Washington Post
"Ursula Hegi, always a master of illuminating the human condition, has in this novel the clear tone and brilliance of water in a pond, and the urgency of storm-tossed coasts. Her characters must navigate their own lives and sorrows and passions, and readers will follow along with held breath and hope." -- Susan Straight, author of Highwire Moon
"Ursula Hegi's fearless excavation of passion takes us into gripping and dangerous territory. She is that most subtle and powerful of writers who can illuminate the darkest ambiguities of the human soul - showing us how even the truest love can be shaded with the destructive." -- Shira Nayman, author of Awake in the Dark
"[Heg] is as skilled at piecing together an intricate storytelling design as Annie is at creating beautiful, complex collages.... Hegi, who has written often of large families and difficult relationships, convincingly plumbs the psychological processes of grief." -- San Francisco Chronicle
From one of the most distinguished writers and the "New York Times" bestselling author of "Stones from the River" comes this stunning, sexy novel of friendship and love--and of one horrible choice that changes everything.
About the Author
Ursula Hegi is the author of The Worst Thing I've Done, Sacred Time, Hotel of the Saints, The Vision of Emma Blau, Tearing the Silence, Salt Dancers, Stones from the River, Floating in My Mother's Palm, Unearned Pleasures and Other Stories, Intrusions, and Trudi & Pia. She teaches writing at Stonybrook's Southhampton Campus and she is the recipient of more than thirty grants and awards.
Reading Group Guide
The Worst Thing I've Done
By Ursula Hegi
In this remarkable and incandescent novel of devastating beauty, set on the East End of Long Island, a young woman embarks on a poignant voyage of self-discovery and comes to terms with the aftermath of one horrible choice that changes everything.
Friends since childhood, Annie, Jake, and Mason had a special bond that transcended all other relationships. When Annie's parents die in a car accident on her and Mason's wedding night, the three friends decide to raise Annie's infant sister, Opal, together. Jealousy and possessiveness entwine with love and friendship, and Annie struggles to be both a sister and a mother to Opal. And then, on one fateful night, the friends step over a line that has shocking consequences.
Beautifully written and brilliantly vivid, this truthful and engaging novel of friendship and premature death, love and suicide, and, ultimately, resilience and understanding will resonate long after each character tells his or her story.
The Worst Thing I've Done is a subtle and heart-rending novel of uncommon grace. It is another great achievement in Ursula Hegi's literary career.
1. The novel opens with Annie listening to two radio psychologists while driving at night. How do Dr. Francine and Dr. Virginia address their callers differently? Which psychologist's style does Annie prefer, and why? Do you agree with Annie's preference?
2. Discuss the title of the novel. Who do you think is the 'I' in The Worst Thing I've Done? What is the worst thing that Annie has done in the novel? Mason? Jake?
3. Discuss the meaning of Annie's collages. What is the significance of her Raft Series and Train Series? How does Annie's latest collage encompass all her previous work, "beyond sequence, everything at once" (252)? Do you think Hegi portrays Annie's artistic process realistically? Why or why not?
4. Annie considers the lifelong dynamic of her friendship with Mason and Jake: "one of us always looking on" (15). Do you think it's inevitable that one person will feel excluded in a triangle friendship? Do you think Mason, Annie, and Jake could have prevented the tragic implosion of their friendship? If so, how?
5. Annie plays a dual role in Opal's life, as both her sister and her mother. When do Annie and Opal seem most like sisters? When is Annie able to assume authority as Opal's mother? Do you believe in the possibility of "Mother-by-choice" (225), as Annie calls it? Why or why not?
6. Review Opal's game of playing rescue with her doll on page 180, which involves "the tossing and the rescuing and the rocking all-in-one." Where do you think Opal has learned the behaviors she incorporates in her rescue game? What is the significance of Opal's throwing the rescue rope into the fire at the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts?
7. Consider the character of Pete, Aunt Stormy's boyfriend. How does Pete influence Annie and Opal's lives? What lessons do they learn from him? Do you think Pete and Aunt Stormy will ever marry? Why or why not?
8. What is the role of the war in Iraq within the novel? When Jake says, "I heard on the radio that Bush said tomorrow is the last chance for peace" (194), how does the political situation parallel to Jakes relationship with Annie?
9. The ups and downs of friendship, such as Lotte and Aunt Stormy's "sisters- by-choice" (36), or the tension between Mason and Jake, is featured prominently throughout the novel. Which bond is stronger in the novel: friendship or family? Or are they strong and tenuous in different ways? Explain your answer.
10. At the end of the novel, Jake tells Annie about the day he and Mason fought on the raft at summer camp, but does not reveal what he saw of Mason's suicide. "Inching closer to the secret he can't tell her. Confessing without losing her" (254). Do you think Jake will ever tell Annie the deeper secret, or will he always keep it to himself? How will his decision affect their relationship in the future?
Enhance Your Book Club:
1. Get inspired by Annie's artwork, and make your own collage! If you're the host of this book club meeting, pick up some basic art supplies, such as paper, brushes, glue, glitter, and fabric. Encourage other members to bring materials personal to them, and create collages together!
2. Screen the 1967 movie The Graduate for your book club, and discuss it afterwards. Mason's parents are watching The Graduate when Annie and Jake visit after the suicide, and they compare their reactions to the movie. Does your book club sympathize with Dustin Hoffman's young character, or with the adults in the movie, as Mason's parents do?
3. Research the history and meaning of the Feast of the Hungry Ghosts in Chinese tradition, and share your findings with your book club. Ask each member what he or she would provide as an offering for the Hungry Ghost to take away.
4. Consult a map of Long Island and find North Sea, the town where much of the novel is set. Imagine what sort of beach house you would like to own if you lived in North Sea. Would it be like Aunt Stormy's cottage, Big C's artistic summer house, or a new mansion? Sketch a picture your dream beach house, or find one in a magazine that resembles it, and compare it to other book club members' dream houses!