Synopses & Reviews
With the hilarious “instant cult classic”
Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal, Vern wrote a book that shook the very foundations of film criticism, broke their wrists, and then threw them through a window. Now he’s back, and this time he’s got all of ‘the films of badass cinema’ in his sights...
From Die Hard to The Discrete Charm of the Bourgeoisie, Transformers to Mary Poppins, Vern has an opinion on everything, and he’s not shy about sharing them...
Synopsis
With the hilarious “instant cult classic”
Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal, Vern wrote a book that shook the very foundations of film criticism, broke their wrists, and then threw them through a window. Now he’s back, and this time he’s got all of ‘the films of badass cinema’ in his sights...
From Die Hard to The Discrete Charm of the Bourgeoisie, Transformers to Mary Poppins, Vern has an opinion on everything, and he’s not shy about sharing them...
About the Author
As a frequent writer for Ain't It Cool News and the author of Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal, Vern has gained notoriety for his unorthodox reviewing style and his expertise in "the films of Badass Cinema." His review of the slasher movie Chaos earned him a wrestling challenge from its director; his explosive essay on the PG-13 rating of Live Free or Die Hard prompted Bruce Willis himself to walk barefoot across the broken glass of movie nerd message boards to respond. Guillermo Del Toro, the director of Pan's Labyrinth, called Vern "a national treasure."
Table of Contents
chapter one
WARRIORS
300
THE WARRIORS
ENTER THE NINJA
GYMKATA
chapter two
THOU SHALT NOT LIE WITH CARTOONS AS WITH LIVE ACTION
ENCHANTED
THE POLAR EXPRESS 3-D IMAX SPOOKARAMA
THE BEOWULF 3-D IMAX EXPERIENCE
GARFIELD
CARS
MARY POPPINS
X-2: X-MEN UNITED
chapter three
BLOW THINGS UP REAL GOOD
ACTION JACKSON
STONE COLD
COMMANDO
PREDATOR
PREDATOR 2
THE PROTECTOR
TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A.
MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME
PAPARAZZI
MEL GIBSON'S APOCALYPTO
chapter four
PHILOSOPHY
KNIGHTRIDERS
HOLY MOUNTAIN
GROUNDHOG DAY
WAKING LIFE
chapter five
TANGENTS
FRIDAY AFTER NEXT
CRANK
WALKING TALL (2004)
chapter six
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAMLET
Vern vs. TRANSFORMERS
THE TERMINATOR
(THE) T(ERMINATOR) 2(: JUDGMENT DAY)
E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL: THE SPECIAL