Richard Smith weighs even less than he did in 1978 when he wrote the original, bestselling Dieter's Guide to Weight Loss During Sex. And he has not given up carbohydrates.
1. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE PRETENDS YOU DONand#8217;T EXIST
The and#8220;I Guess Her Mind is on Other Thingsand#8221; Excuse 2
The and#8220;When Iand#8217;m Calling Yoooooooouuuuuand#8221; Excuse 4
Straight from the Kitty Litter 5
The and#8220;Maybe She Has Attention Deficit Disorderand#8221;Excuse 6
Advisory to Wilma 8
Ten Ways to Suck Up to Your Cat 9
The and#8220;Maybe She Doesnand#8217;t Know How to Show Her Gratitude?and#8221;Excuse 10
The and#8220;Maybe Our Tan Is Throwing Her Offand#8221; Excuse 12
The and#8220;Sheand#8217;s Just Daydreamingand#8221; Excuse 14
The and#8220;Maybe He Needs To Take It Slowand#8221; Excuse 16
The and#8220;Maybe Sheand#8217;s Just Not Such a Good Listenerand#8221;Excuse 18
Test Your Cat I.Q. (Basic) 20
2. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHEand#8217;S FAKING INTEREST IN YOU
The and#8220;But My Cat Thinks Iand#8217;m Such a Good Catch(er)and#8221;Excuse 22
Advisory to Mona in Dallas 23
Red Flag Alert! 24
Advisory to P.T. in Tulsa 25
The and#8220;But She Really Is Talentedand#8221; Excuse 26
Donand#8217;t Despair 27
The and#8220;But She Doesnand#8217;t Realize Iand#8217;m Constipatedand#8221; Excuse 28
Cat Adoption Checklist 30
The and#8220;Unable to Face Realityand#8221; Excuse 31
The and#8220;Is It Identity Theft?and#8221; Excuse 32
The and#8220;But My Plants Need Wateringand#8221; Excuse 34
3. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE PHYSICALLY ABUSES YOU
Quiz: Know Thy Kitty 36
The and#8220;Maybe Sheand#8217;s Just Trying to Get Under My Skinand#8221;Excuse 37
Official Not-That-Into-You Word Jumble 38
For Cats Only: What Owners Want in a Cat 39
The and#8220;She Doesnand#8217;t Realize Itand#8217;s for Her Own Goodand#8221; Excuse 40
Your First Cat 42
The and#8220;She Must Prefer the Real Meand#8221; Excuse 43
The and#8220;My Catand#8217;s Just Not That Into Meand#8221; Excuse 44
Advisory to Glenda in Little Rock 45
Red Flag Alert!and#8212;The Official Early Warning
Wrong Cat Detection Checklist 46
4. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF NOTHING YOU DO PLEASES HER
How Predictable is Kitty? The Five Great Behavioral Equations 48
The and#8220;Why Canand#8217;t We All Just Get Alongand#8221; Excuse 50
Advisory to Eleanor 51
The and#8220;Maybe the Atmosphere Wasnand#8217;t Rightand#8221; Excuse 52
The and#8220;Do You Think Being a Parent Changed Her?and#8221; Excuse 54
Are You Your Catand#8217;s Punk? 56
The and#8220;But Maybe She Needs More Timeand#8221; Excuse 57
The and#8220;Should I Be Unselfish and Change My Life for Her?and#8221;Excuse 58
A Cat Loverand#8217;s Pledge 60
How Many Cats Per Person? 61
The and#8220;Maybe She Needs Her Own Spaceand#8221; Excuse 62
The and#8220;Maybe She Didnand#8217;t Recognize Me in My New Hawaiian Shirtand#8221; Excuse 64
Neediness Alert: Are You in Danger of Your Cat Being Into You? 65
Holidays Approaching? 66
Test Your Cat I.Q. (Advanced) 67
5. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF HEand#8217;S EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE
The and#8220;Sheand#8217;d Love Me If She Knew the Real Meand#8221; Excuse 70
The and#8220;Maybe She Has a Dress Codeand#8221; Excuse 71
The and#8220;Zing Went the Strings of My Heartand#8221; Excuse 72
Rejection Advisories to All Cat Owners 73
The and#8220;Maybe She Needs Some Time Aloneand#8221; Excuse 74
Extra-Helpful Affection Advisory! 75
The and#8220;Maybe the Lighting Was Badand#8221; Excuse 76
Two Super-Important Cat Tips 78
The and#8220;Sheand#8217;s Just Trying to Find Herselfand#8221; Excuse 78
Quiz: Know Thy Kitty 80
6. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE TEASES YOU WITH OCCASIONAL MOMENTS OF PSEUDO-INTIMACY
The and#8220;You Think Itand#8217;s Affection, Whereas Your Cat Merely Thinks Youand#8217;re Deliciousand#8221; Excuse 82
The and#8220;Canand#8217;t We Still Be Friends?and#8221; Excuse 84
Exactly How Not Into You Is Your Cat? 86
Advisory to Elizabeth 87
The and#8220;Should I Take The Hint and Shave My Legs?and#8221; Excuse 88
Quiz: Know Thy Kitty 89
Advisory to P.M.S. in Duluth 89
The and#8220;Maybe If I Had Designer Sheets?and#8221; Excuse 90
The Schnapps-Porsche Well-Adjusted Cat Owner Analysis 92
7. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE TOYS WITH YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
The and#8220;Animal Magnetism vs. Human Magnetismand#8221; Excuse 94
The and#8220;Itand#8217;s All My Faultand#8221; Excuse 96
Straight from the Kitty Litter 97
Are You Powerless Over Your Cat?and#8212;Warning Signs That Youand#8217;re Ready for the Cat Lovers Anonymous 12-Step Program 98
Quiz: Know Thy Kitty 99
Advisory to Olivia 99
The and#8220;I Thought He Was Trying to Shape Up for Bathing Suit Seasonand#8221; Excuse 100
Calorie Chart for Weight-Watching Cats 101
The and#8220;These Paws Are Made for Walkinand#8217;and#8221; Excuse 103
The and#8220;I Canand#8217;t Tell One Owner from the Otherand#8221; Excuse 104
Is Your Cat Cheating on You? Pay Attention if 105
The and#8220;Maybe My Cat Has a Terrific Sense of Humorand#8221; Excuse 106
8. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE FLAUNTS HER NEW LOVE INTEREST IN FRONT OF YOU
A Peek into Kittyand#8217;s Brain 108
The and#8220;But Security Was Just Doing Its Joband#8221; Excuse 109
Advisory to and#8220;Brokenhearted in Sacramentoand#8221; 110
The and#8220;But the Dog Started Itand#8221; Excuse 111
The and#8220;Love, Your Magic Spell Is Everywhereand#8221; Excuse 112
Insecure Owner Advisory 113
The and#8220;Maybe I Should Do More for Herand#8221; Excuse 114
Kitty Statistic 115
Cat Oxymora Test 116
9. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE SHOWS NO RESPECT FOR YOU OR YOUR POSSESSIONS
The and#8220;Such a Considerate Kitty, She Doesnand#8217;t Want to Shred the Entire Drapeand#8221; Excuse 118
The and#8220;Itand#8217;s Just That I Love You So Muchand#8221; Excuse 120
Reading Kittyand#8217;s Tail Positions 121
Advisory to Ronnie 121
The and#8220;Maybe She Needs Her Own Space Heaterand#8221; Excuse 122
Quiz: Know Thy Kitty Terminology 123
The and#8220;In Her Previous Life She Must Have Been a Ballerinaand#8221; Excuse 124
Tough Love Tip 125
Are You a Trophy Owner? 126
10. YOUR CATand#8217;S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . IF SHE GOES OUT OF HER WAY TO MAKE YOU FEEL OR LOOK BAD
Straight from the Kitty Litter 128
Official Kitty Horoscope 129
The and#8220;But She Makes House Callsand#8221; Excuse 130
The Six Thingsand#8212;The One Thing. 131
Advisory to Ramona 132
The and#8220;But Sheand#8217;ll Be Traumatized for Lifeand#8221; Excuse 133
Advisory to and#8220;From a Great House in Easthampton to a Double-Wide in Arkansasand#8221; 134
Straight from the Kitty Litter 134
The and#8220;Hey, Heand#8217;s a Cat; Therefore Heand#8217;s Allowed to be Temperamentaland#8221; Excuse 135
Therapy Class 101: Healing After Heartbreak 136
The and#8220;Maybe Iand#8217;m Using the Wrong Fingerand#8221; Excuse 137
The and#8220;Maybe She Hates to See Me Winand#8221; Excuse 138
Straight from the Kitty Litter 140
The and#8220;But She Seems So Light-Footedand#8221; Excuse 141
Quiz: Know Thy Kitty 142