DISCLAIMER: Lemony Snicket is not responsible for side effects that may result from listening to this audio, including, but not limited to weeping, moaning and tearing out one's hair in despair.

Dear Listener,

The word carnivorous means meat eating and this carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

It would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:

• Perplexing wordgames
• Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
• Art from The Brett Helquist gallery

Sadly for me, I continue to research the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but your time might be filled with something more palatable.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Performed by Tim Curry

"Curry's recordings of the Series of Unfortunate Events are sublime, the perfect marriage of material and performer and the only audiobook I've heard that manages to improve creatively on the print version....Curry's moment of glory so far has been the recording of A Series of Unfortunate Events #9: The Carnivorous Carnival....The Carnivorous Carnival is already one of the funniest Snicket books, but Curry's performance tips it over the edge into hilarity." Laura Miller, Salon.com

"Curry is a master of dry, ironic tones that add an additional undercurrent of suspense, keeping the listener off-balance throughout." AudioFile

"[T]he author successfully uses this book as a platform to communicate a good deal about individuals who belittle others and what it feels like to be on the end of the horrible barbs." Susan Dove Lempke, Booklist

HarperCollins regrets to inform you that the depressing adventures of the Baudelaire orphans are now available in a brand-new audio format. In addition to dredging up the unhappy tales of Book the Third through Book the Ninth for your listening displeasure, these CDs will infest your personal computer by offering games, illustrations by Brett Helquist, music, and more. In fact, this alarming package will expose you to such disturbing details as evil villains, snapping crabs, secret passageways, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Lemony Snicket has sworn to record the unlucky lives of the Baudelaire orphans. You, however, have not, and would be better off avoiding these woeful CDs.

On the run as suspected murderers, the unlucky Baudelaire orphans find themselves trapped in the Caligari Carnival, where they must masquerade as freaks in order to hide from the evil Count Olaf. 5 CDs.

Dear Listener,

The word carnivorous means meat eating and this carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

It would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly, an unruly crowd,a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:

Perplexing wordgames

Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives

Art from The Brett Helquist gallery

Sadly for me, I continue to research the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but your time might be filled with something more palatable. With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

Performed by Tim Curry

Lemony Snicket was born before you were, and is likely to die before you as well. His family has roots in a part of the country which is now underwater, and his childhood was spent in the relative splendor of the Snicket Villa which has since become a factory, a fortress and a pharmacy and is now, alas, someone else's villa.

To the untrained eye, Mr. Snicket's hometown would not appear to be filled with secrets. Untrained eyes have been wrong before. The aftermath of the scandal was swift, brutal and inaccurately reported in the periodicals of the day. It is true, however, that Mr. Snicket was stripped of several awards by the reigning authorities, including Honorable Mention, the Grey Ribbon and First Runner Up. The High Council reached a convenient if questionable verdict and Mr. Snicket found himself in exile.

Though his formal training was chiefly in rhetorical analysis, he has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. This project, being published serially by HarperCollins, takes him to the scenes of numerous crimes, often during the off-season. Eternally pursued and insatiably inquisitive, a hermit and a nomad, Mr. Snicket wishes you nothing but the best.