Forbidden

There’s good news and there’s good news. The first is that just about every gorgeous stripper out there has some cellulite. The second is that every woman, no matter what shape, size, color, or age, has the potential for that seemingly effortless swagger that strippers pull off so beautifully.

In this joyful, funny, down-to-earth guide, professional stripper Jessica “Kayla” Conrad demystifies that je ne sais quoi that makes strippers so outrageously hot. It’s all about creatively sidestepping your insecurities. From the magic of self-tanner to the all-important naming of the new you, this one-of-a-kind sourcebook arms you with a repertoire of easy, effective tricks for becoming bootylicious.

Whether you’re getting your groove on alone in your living room, trying to kick your love life up a notch, or just wondering what it’s like to feel as sexy as Britney Spears, Dance Naked is the only book you’ll need.

"Every woman, even 'the most politically conservative, Wal-Mart shopping, coupon-clipping soccer mom,' has a secret stripper fantasy just waiting to be acted out, declares Conrad in the opening to this stripper how-to. Readers may disagree, but they will find some interesting arguments and advice in this slim book. Conrad beings by debunking some commonly held stripper myths — that they're all hookers or nymphos, or that they're desperate, degraded or stupid — and by explaining that, for a stripper, 'giving a dance is about as sexual as typing up a progress report, and every bit as monotonous, too.' This refreshing strain of realism carries through in Conrad's advice on faking confidence, hiding PMS bloat, applying self-tanner, choosing a garter belt, shaving everything and pretending to be shy while made up like Pamela Anderson (i.e. false eyelashes, dark lip liner with frosty pink lip gloss, bronze blush). A whole section is devoted to picking out a stripper name — she suggests monikers like Amber, Britney or Veruka. But Conrad's dated sense of gender dynamics may put off some readers. Men in her book are 'poor, daft creatures,' who are 'preternaturally attuned to cars' and who always go crazy when they hear a woman say 'Whoo! I am so buzzed.' Those considering entering the profession will appreciate this book's practical attitude, but those who would rather travel through the stripper's life from the safety of an armchair are better off considering Lily Burana's Strip City. " Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

In this joyful, funny, down-to-earth guide, professional stripper Jessica Conrad demystifies that "je ne sais quoi" that makes strippers so outrageously hot. It's all about creatively sidestepping one's insecurities.