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Fup. Store Cat.

Chapter 61

In Loving Memory
Fup. Store Cat.
1988 — 2007

fup 18 fup 19
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Fup. Store Cat.
Fup watercolor courtesy of reader Linda McDougall. Click here for a larger view.
Bear
bear
Zooey
zooey

see Fup's photo album

The Optimists' annual spring enrollment drive is a time to identify untapped potential, members insist, dwelling not on the multitudes who each year attend "open house" only to mooch off the free buffet — the lapsed utopians, the naive idealists, the predictable assortment of cats with nothing better to do on a Saturday evening than shrug ironically at the club's worthwhile efforts.

True, strength-enhancing nutritional supplements have yet to yield "the lion of the suburbs," but Cesar's work has not been in vain; research and testing continues. Nor has the scientific partnership with flying fish produced feline flight outside the laboratory, but associated land-loss experiments demonstrated that a cat's food supply diminishes exponentially above ground level, information sure to inform future strategic projects. And Bear maintains that it's far too early to disband the crime fighting academy, despite the lukewarm response from homeowners clinging to antiquated notions of dogs as first-rate protectors; old habits die hard, he admits, but sooner or later the public will come to appreciate the modern advantages offered by sharp clawed, agile watchcats.

The Optimists operate according to rigorously tested, ever evolving standards of hope enhancement.

Fup, the organization's celebrity spokescat, recites the mantra yet again, "With optimism comes responsibility." Her young audience, however, is distracted. Next year perhaps Fup will suggest distributing the complimentary balls of yarn as guests exit instead of upon their arrival. Live and learn.

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The Trip to Kahani

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Read the press release.

Follow the links to more Fup adventures
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Fup's Picks

That Cat That Changed My Life: 50 Cats Talk About How They Became Who They Are That Cat That Changed My Life: 50 Cats Talk About How They Became Who They Are
by Bruce Eric Kaplan

"All these cats lead exciting and varied lives wholly independent of the human race," notes the editor in his Introduction. Well, duh. Scant attention has been paid to the role of community in modern cat culture, so what a relief that here, finally, fifty articulate felines set the record straight. Funny, sad, occasionally shocking, but never less than true, these brave monologues reaffirm our interdependency in ways that choreographed public displays such as Paws Across America never can.

Unleashed: Poems by Writers' Dogs Unleashed: Poems by Writers' Dogs
by Amy Hempel

In "Dog Kibble," Tasha Baxter's verse exhibits a brutal economy of words: "Life is never meaningless," her villanelle announces, "there is always food." Here and throughout this collection these authors demand your attention, as if to bark, "You can send me to my room for yelling at the neighbors but you cannot silence what woofs in my heart!" Among the selections nominated for Best American Writing by Pets 2000 are Bob Barker Barry's sordid and hilarious hallucinogenic escapades with Lynda; a tragic, posthumous prose poem by Marrow Irving; and Sadie Louise Lamott's "Spoon River Sadie Louise," a wildly metered exploration of the cross-cultural dynamics within a household occupied by dogs, cats, birds, and small children. The sheer intellect of these collected pieces will renew your faith in dogs.

Is Your Cat Too Fat?Is Your Cat Too Fat?
by Bronwen Meredith

Too fat for what? And what business is it of this Meredith person's anyway? Bronwen sounds like the kind of lady I wouldn't like at all.

 

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