Synopses & Reviews
In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you need is love — and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.
After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found "We're just not that into us". Instead of giving up, they've held their relationship together by ignoring conventional wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of couples therapy. The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving marriage includes an unsentimental account of the medical odyssey that their family embarked upon after their infant son was diagnosed with VACTERL, a very rare series of birth defects. Annabelle and Jeff's unforgivingly raw, uproariously funny story is sure to strike both laughter and terror in the hearts of all couples (not to mention every single man or woman who is contemplating the connubial state).
Serving up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everyone who has come to realize that being in love can only get you so far.
On Cohabitation:
He says: Within days of Annabelle's arrival, I became very aware that she demanded solitude and had the housekeeping habits of a feral animal.
She says: The guy had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes off for even a second, Jeff would be in front of me cheering as if he'd scored box seats at Fenway Park.
On Sex:
He says: I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it once a week. So we compromise: we have sex once a week.
She says: Jeff says talking about money before you have sex is a turnoff, but it's only a turnoff if you're talking about not having money. Talking about money before you have sex when you have money is actually a turn-on.
On Pregnancy:
He says: For God's sake, all I wanted to do was have sex without a condom for a little while; now we were moments from bringing a new life into the world
She says: My ass was expanding so fast it was like a Starbucks franchise. On every corner of my ass there was a new branch of ass opening up.
Review
"So funny because it is so accurate. Kahn and Gurwitch illuminate the insanity of marriage. They make you want to embrace your spouse for the same reason you want to strangle them." Ben Stiller
Review
"Damn, marriage isn't supposed to be this much fun! If anyone is going to save marriage, it won't be James Dobson — it'll be Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn." Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed
Review
This hilarious relationship memoir .... makes a mockery of traditional self-help relationship advice... true love really does trump all in this touching story, when what seems like a doomed relationship blossoms into a 13-year (and counting) marriage, withstanding even the stresses of raising a medically fragile child." Library Journal
Review
"This book is a must-read for couples and singles alike. Finally, a married couple that doesn't hide behind such tedious traits as personal loyalty, good taste, and an overall sense of decorum. You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up tells people what marriage is really like!" Liz Tuccillo, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You
Synopsis
A hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up tells about one couple's reliance on complaining, co-dependence, and a healthy supply of Pinot Noir to keep their marriage and sanity intact.
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About the Author
ANNABELLE GURWITCH is an actress and writer, best known for her years cohosting
Dinner and a Movie on TBS and her
Fired! book and documentary film. Her acting credits include
Seinfeld, Boston Legal, and
The Shaggy Dog. She’s been a humor columnist for TheNationMagazine.com and a regular commentator on NPR.
JEFF KAHN won an Emmy Award for his writing on The Ben Stiller Show. As an actor, he has appeared in The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Tropic Thunder, as well as in the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage.