Synopses & Reviews
They threw the book at Madoff. Now here's the book he needs. andlt;BRandgt; andlt;BRandgt; While many books are offered for the CEO who aims to survive the cutthroat competition of the corporate jungle, not a single one offers to help those same CEOs when the law catches up with them. That is, until now. andlt;BRandgt; andlt;BRandgt; This book offers valuable advice for those executives who have cooked the books, and now find themselves paying the price. Borowitz covers all aspects of prison life, from exit strategies (prison-break tips) to ways of keeping the business acumen sharp (how to make the Warden your most valuable employee) to prison cell feng shui and even self-defense (how to use this book as a deadly weapon). Convicted corporate executives should look at this time spent in prison as an opportunity, rather than a disadvantage. New business contacts can be established, new management strategies tested-time can even be spent working on the golf game so it says sharp for ten, twenty, however many years. andlt;BRandgt; Direct from Bernie Madoff's cellmate, andlt;iandgt;Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prisonandlt;/iandgt; is loaded with helpful tips, including: andlt;liandgt;Complete Corporate-Speak/Prison Slang Glossaryandlt;/liandgt; andlt;liandgt;How to earn $$$ making vanity license platesandlt;/liandgt; andlt;liandgt;Trophy wives, and how to avoid becoming oneandlt;/liandgt; andlt;liandgt;How to avoid getting back-stabbed literallyandlt;/liandgt; andlt;BRandgt; Don't forget, andlt;iandgt;Who Moved My Soap?andlt;/iandgt; will be both small enough to fit in the pocket of your prison uniform, but also thick enough to hollow out and hide cigarettes in! andlt;BRandgt; andlt;BRandgt; andlt;iandgt;Who Moved My Soap?andlt;/iandgt; is a must read for any white collar criminal. CEOs headed to the Big House will now have something to read to help them pass the time. It's also a must read for those of us who were fleeced by them.
Synopsis
Attention, CEOs:
Finally, a book you don't have to cook!
If you're a CEO who's just been caught,
this is the book you won't want to be
caught without. Who Moved My Soap? The
CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is
loaded with helpful tips, including:
-
How to go from "bitch" to "boss" in
one week or less
- The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
Prisoners
- Complete
prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary
- Prison cell feng shui
- How to avoid getting back-stabbed
literally
- The Zagat guide to fine prison dining
Synopsis
Attention, CEOs:
Finally, a book you don't have to cook!
If you're a CEO who's just been caught, this is the book you won't want to be caught without. Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including:
How to go from "bitch" to "boss" in one week or less
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners
Complete prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary
Prison cell feng shui
How to avoid getting back-stabbed -- literally
The Zagat guide to fine prison dining
About the Author
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and satirist whose work appears in andlt;i andgt;The New Yorker andlt;/iandgt;and at his award-winning website, BorowitzReport.com. He was the first-ever winner of the National Press Cluband#8217;s award for humor.
Table of Contents
andlt;Bandgt;Table of Contentsandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;1.and#160;Put Your Hands in the Air and Step Away from the Deskandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;2.and#160;From the Big Board to the Big Houseandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;3.and#160;Trading One Gated Community for Anotherandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;4.and#160;Packing for the Pokey andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;5.and#160;Prison Slang: From Ass-out to Zip Gun andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;6.and#160;Prison Food: Don't Pick Up the Check andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;7.and#160;The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisonersand#153; andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;8.and#160;Prison Cell Feng Shui andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;9.and#160;Bringing Six Sigma to Sing Sing andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;10.and#160;Female CEOs: Breaking Through the Concrete Ceiling andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;11.and#160;How Golden Is Your Hacksaw? and#160;Exit Strategies