Why do pirates always wear eye patches?

What are pirates so grumpy about?

Where do pirates go to get their ears pierced?

How do pirates keep their underwear from getting mixed up when they sail off to pirate summer camp?

You're not the only one who wonders about these things. Author/illustrator Tom Lichtenheld wondered so much, he had to write a book about them. The result is Everything I Know About Pirates, a hilarious encyclopedia of piratedom. Thoroughly researched using educated guesses and made-up facts, the book reveals everything you'd ever want to know about those notorious bad guys of the high seas.

So grab your eye patch, matey, and prepare to learn the truth about the meanest and goofiest characters this side of Treasure Island.

A collection of made-up facts, educated guesses, and silly pictures about the bad guys of the high sea. Aspiring buccaneers will find tons of details to pore over time and again in this fun-filled book that tells them what they need to know (and a lot they shouldn't believe) about pirates. Color illustrations.

Tom Lichtenheld is probably some guy who lives in Minneapolis with his wife and their two cats (Bruce and Toots).

When he's not making up stuff about Pirates, he probably works in advertising, making up stuff about fancy cars and blue jeans.

He has probably never laid eyes on a real Pirate.