Based on the largest-ever survey of sexual fantasies, and drawing on the author's twenty-five years of clinical practice, this "anatomy of secret desire" does for sexual fantasy what Kinsey did for sexual behavior. However, unlike Kinsey's books, which were almost unreadably dense and data-driven, Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head? features narrative accounts of sexual fantasies and the author's own insightful interpretations of how those fantasies affect our lives.

Kahr reveals the astonishing truth behind secrecy, shame and taboo, and demonstrates how sex fantasies exert a more powerful influence on our emotions, behavior, and relationships than we ever imagined. Kahr's insights are liberating. He tells us the story of Margaret, who, in mining early sexual abuse for arousing and satisfying sexual fantasies: "succeeded brilliantly in turning a childhood trauma into an adult triumph." He explains how he helped a young man who couldn't get turned on by his beautiful girlfriend but only by dominatrix-themed porn, and how numerous men and women used fantasy to become more intimate with their partners — or to be unfaithful or even cruel to them instead.

Ultimately, by unmasking the myths and destroying the guilt and ignorance surrounding sexual fantasy, Kahr offers readers a chance to lead richer and less conflicted lives.

"According to London psychotherapist and clinical researcher Kahr, virtually every sexually mature adult generates sexual fantasies that fulfill a wide variety of often unconscious psychological needs. What is the stuff of British and American erotic fantasies? Rape, infidelity, homosexuality, pedophilia, incest and, apparently for some Brits, kinky sex with the queen and Margaret Thatcher. For a 2005 British television documentary on the subject, Kahr collected data from 13,000 adults via a computer-administered questionnaire, supplemented with 122 face-to-face interviews. In 2006, he also surveyed approximately 3,000 American men and women. A building contractor's strip-poker masturbatory fantasy, says Kahr, signifies hostility toward women, tracing back to a father who quickly remarried a 'hottie' after his young wife's death. A heterosexual woman's lesbian fantasies represent an attempt to recreate a family unit in which parents wield a more benign sexuality than her own abusive parents did. A happily married costume designer's fantasies turn unpleasant memories of sexual abuse by a learning-disabled older brother into a highly arousing experience. Some will no doubt find the subject matter titillating, but Kahr approaches his interviewees with respect and decorum. His prose is unabashedly enthusiastic and sometimes overwritten, and although his analyses are perceptive, the material is mostly familiar and unsurprising. (Feb. 4)" Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

"[A] fascinating collection of personal narratives, along with the author's analysis of fantasy in everyday life." Library Journal

Brett Kahr is a Senior Clinical Research Fellow in Psychotherapy and Mental Health at the Centre for Child Mental Health in London. He writes frequently for British newspapers, including the Independent on Sunday, the Sunday Express, and the Stage, and lectures all around the world. His research on sexual fantasy began when he was asked to consult on a six-part documentary on the subject that aired on England's Sky Television. This is his first trade book. He lives in London, England.