Synopses & Reviews
Every morning more than three million listeners tune in to Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN Radio—mostly to hear the Mikes’ (Golic and Greenberg) riotous back-and-forth on everything from why baseball managers should dress like real people to how to lose a fight with the wife with dignity. In Mike and Mike’s Rules for Sports and Life, the beloved mic jockeys put their unique stamp on, well, the rules for sports and life. In years on the road, in the studio, and at home, Greeny and Golic have learned that it’s all about the big stuff: separating order from chaos, ensuring our survival as a species, and keeping peace. For instance:
• The Fourth of July should be eliminated and replaced with an Independence Day that falls on the first Thursday of the month, creating a four-day weekend like Thanksgiving, which, by the way, could do without the Detroit Lions.
• “The Human Element” in sports officiating and weather forecasting sucks.
• The top pick in the NBA draft lottery should go to the team that came closest to making the playoffs—not to the team that rips off fans by mailing it in after the All-Star break.
• When someone says, “I’m being completely honest,” they might as well be claiming that they go to Hooters just for the wings.
• Kids do not get to eat french fries for breakfast. Ever. And who cares what the kids at the next table are ordering.
• No more designated hitter!
If you’re one of Golic and Greeny’s legions of followers, you probably can’t get enough of this sort of provocative, hilarious, and occasionally obsessive stuff. And if you’re one of those fans who live by the rule “There oughta be a rule,” then Mike and Mike’s Rules for Sports and Life is the book for you.
Review
"As he chronicles his unique relationship with his father (a fan of any team playing the Yankees), learning to appreciate the wisdom of Yankee announcer Phil Rizzuto while listening to games with his grandmother, pursuing the love of his life and commiserating with a comedic stable of Yankee-loving (and Yankee-hating) pals, genuine moments of pathos, heart and happiness emerge."
--Kirkus Reviews
"Seely...weaves his life as a Yankees fan with instructions on how to apply the rules in a fast-paced, hilarious fashion—at times touching, but never dull...This rollicking exposition unveils a rabid fan who claims to have a 'Jekyll/Hyde' complex with respect to the Yankees. There is no Jekyll or Hyde—there is only Seely, a true fan."
--Publishers Weekly "Hart Seelys use of 'juju rules' in support of the Yankees is not only curious, hilarious and excessive but also familiar! His 'off the wall' tennis ball game (played at home to spur a Yankees rally) was also a backyard passion of my own. Clearly Hart comes to the classic fanatic level, and this chronicle of his life as a devoted fan is entertaining - and universal."
- Tony LaRussa, former major league manager "Part George Bailey, part Yoda, part screaming superfan, Hart Seely has written a hilarious memoir that gives fans everywhere the mystical tools they need to win games from hundreds of miles away."
-James Finn Garner, bestselling author of The Politically Correct Bedtime Stories Trilogy "A heart-warming, hilarious story about being a Yankee fan? It must be a joke, right? And yet, here it is. The Juju Rules is a wonderfully-told story that reminded me why I fell in love with baseball in the first place. You don't have to root for the Yankees to enjoy this book, but it certainly helps. Hey, Red Sox fans: I'd like to see you top this!"
--Jonathan Eig, author of Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig "I kept waiting for Hart Seelys The Juju Rules to stop being funny, but it never did. Seely tells the story of all of us who have ever sat in a favorite chair knowing that if we got up to go to the bathroom at the wrong time it could doom our team to defeat and maybe even cost us a pennant."
--Glenn Stout, author of Fenway 1912 and series editor of Best American Sports Writing "I used to think Iwas a crazy Yankees fan, but Hart Seely has me beat by a grand slam. The Juju Rules is in a league of its own - a self-help book for baseball addicts, a story with hilarious jokes and zingy one liners, a satirical look at sports and popular culture, and a truly poignant memoir. The scene in which the author watches a Yankees game while his wife is in labor is now my go-to image whenever I need a laugh. No fan should even consider following the 2012 season without arming himself with this book first."
--Jane Heller, bestselling novelist and author of Confessions of a She-Fan
Synopsis
ESPN's star comedic duo--ex-jock Golic and self-described girly man Greenberg--bring their radio and TV sports shtick to the page with this hilarious collection of rules to live by.
Synopsis
Learn the secret of juju from Hart Seely, a man who wins games for the New York Yankees in his living room by harnessing juju energy, in this hilarious, unforgettable fan confessional from an award-winning humorist.
Synopsis
From an award-winning humorist, a touching memoir and manifesto that reveals the deep secrets of fan jinxes, hexes, and charms
Did you know there is a secret to winning ballgames? Its not the players, managers, money, or luck. Its juju, and no one knows it better than Hart Seely. Seely has spent a lifetime practicing the art of juju from his living room. And winning ballgames for the New York Yankees. He paces floors. He yells at defenseless TVs. He rallies the team like Churchill addressing the collective British soul. But what he is really doing is harnessing juju energy to influence the outcome of games. And it works.
In this uproarious, unforgettable fan confessional, Seely shares the basics of juju for the beginner—“Setting the Table,” asking for a called strike instead of a walk-off homer—to advanced juju—“Bringing the Neg,” predicting bad events to keep them from actually happening—to the deepest, darkest formulas of this age-old art. Along the way readers come to know Hart and his hilarious band of fellow juju practitioners, a secret club of friends whose fandom bonds them across decades, not to mention won/loss columns.
Nostalgic, heartwarming, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Juju Rules is a memoir of a life well-lived in service to ones team that shows how love can be a powerful passion in the best way.
About the Author
Hart Seely is an award-winning reporter for the Post-Standard newspaper in Syracuse. His humor pieces have appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, National Lampoon, The New Republic, Village Voice, Slate, Spy and NPR. He has written or edited five books, including O Holy Cow: The Selected Verses of Phil Rizzuto and Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld. Seely lives in Syracuse with his wife, Janice, and three children. There, from his living room, he wins baseball games for the New York Yankees.
Table of Contents
Prologue: When Ari Met Seely xi
Opening Day 1
Off the Wall 10
Swept Away 17
The Dice of God 24
Bobby, Mickey, and the Duke 30
The Two-Second Threshold 37
Rudy May Not 47
Yankee Love 55
The Yankee Crier 69
The Hoosier Show Lounge Massacre 79
Thurman 91
George Brett 98
The Ultimate Yankee Fan 108
Damned Fool 117
Tar 123
New Hampshire 132
Touching the Stone 140
Jay-bird 149
The Knot 160
“George Steinbrenner Must Die” 170
Frank Crosetti 180
Peyer 187
The Trip 193
The Rizzutonic Verses 202
Yankee Incentive Rewards 218
Bringing the Neg 227
Alphonso 235
Apocalypse 245
Iraq 254
Glavin 265
Epilogue: The Yard 267