Synopses & Reviews
Thoughtful, amusing, and provocative, Making an Exit will transform the way you look at life's last passage. Because, as Murray discovers, death is, for many, not an ending but the start of something new.
Author and journalist Sarah Murray never gave much thought to what might ultimately happen to her remains—that was, until her father died. While hed always insisted that the “organic matter” left after a person takes their last breath had no significance, he surprised his family by setting down elaborate arrangements for the scattering of his own ashes. This unexpected last request prompted Murray to embark on a series of voyages to discover how our end is commemorated around the globe—and how we approach our own mortality.
Spanning continents and centuries, Making an Exit is Murrays exploration of the extraordinary creativity unleashed when we seek to dignify the dead. Along the way, she encounters a cremation in Bali in which two royal personages are placed in giant decorative bulls and consigned to the afterlife in a burst of flames; a chandelier in the Czech Republic made entirely from human bones; a weeping ceremony in Iran; and a Philippine village where the casketed dead are left hanging in caves. She even goes to Ghana to commission her own fantasy coffin.
The accounts of these journeys are fascinating, poignant, and funny. But this is also a very personal quest: on her travels, Murray is seeking inspiration for her own eventual send-off.
Review
“An Eat, Pray, Love for the afterlife … Murray tackles an uncomfortable subject with sensitivity, humor and great insight … Making an Exit raises a host of issues worth thinking about … In addition to being a deeply informative book, Making an Exit is also a personal one. Murrays reflections on her fathers terminal illness and his plans for a no-frills cremation are particularly touching … In the end, as her own experiences show, the rituals we create to honor the dead may say more about the living, and our fears and hopes.”—Rachel Newcomb, The Washington Post
“The death of her father, and his clear orders for an unfussy, secular send-off, prompted Ms. Murray to consider her own long goodbye. The result is not only a fascinating travelogue, but also a personal meditation on loss and fate. Ms. Murray excels in the role of intrepid tour guide. She has an inviting way of taking readers by the hand to explore new cultures and places … there is a wealth to discover within these pages.”—The Economist
Review
"An Eat, Pray, Love for the afterlife…Murray tackles an uncomfortable subject with sensitivity, humor, and great insight."---The Washington Post"Not only a fascinating travelogue but also a personal meditation on loss and fate. Ms. Murray excels in the role of intrepid tour guide....There is a wealth to discover within these pages."---The Economist"Murray writes with great tenderness and wit about death and its aftermath"---Audrey Niffenegger, author of The Time Travelers Wife"Brilliant…I was transfixed by this oddly life-enhancing book."---The Daily Mail (London)"Difficult to put down. In less capable hands the subject matter might be morbid or disturbing, but with Murray at the helm, this journey in search of death is full of life."---Publishers Weekly (starred review)
Review
“Murrays interest in this subject is so keen and wide-eyed, and her writing so fresh, that she almost charms you into forgetting that youre reading about something that some cultures dread and others welcome....A lively book on a deadly subject.”—Richmond Times-Dispatch
"Murray writes with great tenderness and wit about death and its aftermath."—Audrey Niffenegger, author of The Time Traveler's Wife
"Brilliant...I was transfixed by this oddly life-enhancing book."—The Daily Mail (London)
"Difficult to put down. In less capable hands the subject matter might be morbid or disturbing, but with Murray at the helm, this journey in search of death is full of life."—Publisher's Weekly (starred review)
Synopsis
With the surprising humor of Mary Roachs Stiff and the globe-spanning bravado of Anthony Bourdains No Reservations, this is a journey into the astonishingly diverse ways in which we send off our dead
Journalist Sarah Murray never gave much thought to what might ultimately happen to her remains—until her father died. Now, puzzled by the choices he made about the disposal of his “organic matter,” she embarks on a series of voyages to discover how death is commemorated in different cultures.
Deaths Doors is Murrays exploration of the extraordinary creativity unleashed when we seek to dignify the dead. Along the way, she encounters a royal cremation in Bali, Mexicos Dia de los Muertos, a Czech chandelier made from human bones, a weeping ceremony in Iran, and a Philippine village where the casketed dead are left hanging in caves. She even goes to Ghana to commission a coffin for herself.
Her accounts of these journeys are fascinating, poignant, and funny. But this is a very personal quest—on her travels, Murray is also seeking inspiration for her own send off.
Synopsis
"Not only a fascinating travelogue but also a personal meditation on loss and fate...There is a wealth to discover within these pages."—The EconomistJournalist Sarah Murray never gave much thought to what might ultimately happen to her remains—until her father died. Puzzled by the choices he made about the disposal of his "organic matter," she embarks on a series of journeys to discover how death is commemorated in different cultures. Her travels lead her to discover everything from a Czech chandelier of human bones and a weeping ceremony in Iran to a Philippine village where the casketed dead hang in caves.Fascinating, poignant, and often funny, Making an Exit is Murray's exploration of the ways in which we seek to dignify the dead—and a deeply personal quest for a final send-off of her own.
Synopsis
"Not only a fascinating travelogue but also a personal meditation on loss and fate...There is a wealth to discover within these pages."—The EconomistJournalist Sarah Murray never gave much thought to what might ultimately happen to her remains—until her father died. Puzzled by the choices he made about the disposal of his "organic matter," she embarks on a series of journeys to discover how death is commemorated in different cultures. Her travels lead her to discover everything from a Czech chandelier of human bones and a weeping ceremony in Iran to a Philippine village where the casketed dead hang in caves.Fascinating, poignant, and often funny, Making an Exit is Murray's exploration of the ways in which we seek to dignify the dead—and a deeply personal quest for a final send-off of her own.
About the Author
Sarah Murray is author of Moveable Feasts: From Ancient Rome to the 21st Century, the Incredible Journeys of the Food We Eat. A longtime Financial Times contributor, she lives in New York City.
Reading Group Guide
1. In her introduction, the author recalls her fathers attitude toward death and dying. Have you ever discussed the topic with friends or family, and if so, what are their various attitudes toward their own deaths? How did the conversation arise and was it a difficult one to broach?
2. The book examines the “way we dignify the dead” across different cultures. What do you think are the most striking differences between the ways the dead are honored and celebrated around the world? Which two practices do you think provide the biggest contrast?
3. From dancing and feasting to public weeping and wailing, death rites around the world may look very different, but there are also several common threads to these ceremonies and practices. What do you see as the strongest elements linking them all?
4. How do you think that traditional death rites help the bereaved work through their grief? In todays society, where many of these traditions have been lost, which kinds of rituals could we revive or recreate to help people deal with loss?
5. In Chapter 3, “Packing for Eternity,” the author describes Terror Management Theory, which posits that humans foreknowledge of their own death has provided the seeds from which the whole of civilization has sprouted, shaping much of what we do, what we believe in, and the way we behave. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this theory?
6. In your opinion, what are the biggest changes taking place in the way we mark death? Which of these changes do you see as most positive?
7. Aside from questions of funerals, memorials and other ceremonies, death brings with it the question of how to dispose of the body. Throughout the book, the author examines several options, from burial to cremation to mummification and a new eco-burial called alkaline hydrolysis, in which an alkaline solution is used to accelerate the natural decomposition of a body. Which option would you choose?
8. In Chapter 7, “Foreign Fields” the author explains that in many societies, the desire to be buried at home is the strongest one. Today, in an increasingly global world, where people may have lived in many places during their lifetimes, on what basis can they make decisions about where to bury or scatter their remains? Where would you like your remains to be buried?
9. The book explores the feelings that we humans (the author included) have toward their own deaths. The author finds thinking about death frightening, but it also helps her value life more. Today, do we spend enough time thinking about death? How might doing so change the way in which we approach lifes successes, failures and human relationships?
10. In the final chapter, the author describes what she would like to have happen to her remains. What she chooses not only satisfies her desire to have her remains left in well-loved places but, more importantly, helps her create a legacy. In the light of your inevitable mortality, what would you like your legacy to be?