Synopses & Reviews
Four simple phrases -- "Please forgive me," "I forgive you," "Thank you," and "I love you" -- carry enormous power. In many ways, they contain the most powerful words in our language. These four phrases provide us with a clear path to emotional wellness; they guide us through the thickets of interpersonal difficulties to a conscious way of living that is full of integrity and grace. andlt;BRandgt; In andlt;Iandgt;The Four Things That Matter Most,andlt;/Iandgt; Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, teaches us how to practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know we love them. Dr. Byock reveals the value of stating the obvious and provides insights into how we burden ourselves by hanging on to old grudges unconsciously and unnecessarily. He shows us how to avoid living with those awkward silences and uncomfortable issues that distance us from the people we love and erode our sense of well-being and joy. His insights and stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another more fully. andlt;BRandgt; The inspiring stories in andlt;Iandgt;The Four Things That Matter Mostandlt;/Iandgt; demonstrate the usefulness of the Four Things in a wide range of life situations. They also show that a degree of emotional healing is always possible and that we can experience a sense of wholeness even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual punch, andlt;Iandgt;The Four Things That Matter Mostandlt;/Iandgt; gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.
Review
Caroline Myss Author of andlt;Iandgt;Sacred Contracts, Why People Don't Heal and How They Can,andlt;/Iandgt; and andlt;Iandgt;Anatomy of the Spiritandlt;/Iandgt; andlt;Iandgt;The Four Things That Matter Mostandlt;/Iandgt; is a book of commonsense wisdom that has the power to dynamically change your life. It is a pleasure to recommend a book that encourages you to transform the quality of your life in simple ways that actually work.
Review
Zorba Paster, M.D. Author of andlt;Iandgt;The Longevity Code,andlt;/Iandgt; host of public radio's andlt;Iandgt;Zorba Paster on Your Health,andlt;/Iandgt; and host of the public television special andlt;Iandgt;How to Live a Long, Sweet Lifeandlt;/Iandgt; andlt;Iandgt;The Four Things That Matter Mostandlt;/Iandgt; provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending.
Review
Larry Dossey, M.D. Author of andlt;Iandgt;Healing Beyond the Body, Reinventing Medicine,andlt;/Iandgt; and andlt;Iandgt;Healing Wordsandlt;/Iandgt; For anyone who believes that years of therapy are required for transforming relationships with others, this book will come as a pleasant surprise. Great wisdom has always been simple -- that is why it is elusive -- and great wisdom is what this book contains.
Review
Joan Halifax, Ph.D. Author, Buddhist teacher, anthropologist, founder and director of Ojai Foundation, and founder, Upaya Foundation Ira Byock's compassionate and important work in the field of dying has given him the four great treasures of love and freedom that all of us can use throughout our life. This wonderful book opens the doors to these jewels of compassion.
Review
Zorba Paster, M.D.
Author of The Longevity Code, host of public radio's Zorba Paster on Your Health, and host of the public television special How to Live a Long, Sweet Life
The Four Things That Matter Most provides simple, insightful words and stories that move the heart and the soul. Dr. Byock shows us a graceful way to nurture relationships and heal those that need mending.
Review
Maggie Callanan Coauthor of andlt;Iandgt;Final Giftsandlt;/Iandgt; A tender read I highly recommend. andlt;Iandgt;The Four Things That Matter Mostandlt;/Iandgt; offers simple but solid solutions for healing our complex and fragile relationships -- wisdom that will surely enrich our lives.
About the Author
Ira Byock, MD, is a leading palliative care physician, author, and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. His research and writing have helped to define quality of life and quality of care for people living with advanced medical conditions. He has been involved in hospice and palliative care since 1978 and is a founding member and past president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. From 1996 through 2006, he served as Director for Promoting Excellence in End-of-Life Care, a national grant program of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Dr. Byock is Chief Medical Officer of the andlt;iandgt;Institute for Human Caringandlt;/iandgt; of Providence Health and Services system. From 2003 through July 2013 he directed the palliative care program at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, New Hampshire. Dr. Byock is a Professor of Medicine and Community andamp; Family Medicine at the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth.andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;More information is available at IraByock.org.
Table of Contents
andlt;BRandgt;andlt;Bandgt;Contentsandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;Bandgt;Part One: The Four Thingsandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 1: Saying the Four Thingsandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 2: The Healing Power of Wordsandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 3: Completing Relationshipsandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 4: Transformationsandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;Bandgt;Part Two: Forgivenessandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 5: Loved Ones Live On Inside Usandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 6: Resolving a Legacy of Painandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 7: The Emotional Economics of Forgivenessandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 8: Extreme Acts of Forgivenessandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 9: Forgiving Yourselfandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 10: Living with Uncertainty and Illnessandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;Bandgt;Part Three: Thank Youandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 11: Practicing Gratitudeandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 12: The Unexpected Grace of Reconnectionandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 13: The Family Dynamics of Gratitudeandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;Bandgt;Part Four: I Love Youandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 14: Creative Ways of Saying the Four Thingsandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 15: Loving the Bodyandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 16: Living Every Day as if It Were Your First -- or Lastandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 17: Lives Intertwined with Loveandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;Bandgt;Part Five: Good-byeandlt;/Bandgt;andlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 18: Nothing Left Unsaidandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 19: The Mysterious Magic of Some Good-byesandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 20: Good-byes That Are Gifts Through Timeandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Chapter 21: Good-byes That Celebrate Lifeandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Afterword: Reflections Before Good-byeandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Acknowledgmentsandlt;BRandgt;andlt;BRandgt;Index