Synopses & Reviews
How do you help your child choose between mandatory baseball practice and Hebrew school? How can you plan a birthday party (not to mention bar or bat mitzvah party!) for your child without sacrificing your values, sanity, and pocketbook? How can you keep peace on the homework homefront? And how do you deal with Santa envy-let alone the entire month of December?
As any modern Jewish parent knows, balancing family traditions and the realities of contemporary culture can be incredibly challenging.
Answering questions both old and new, Jewish and secular, internationally syndicated parenting columnist and award-winning Jewish educator and mother of four, Sharon Duke Estroff illuminates the ways that Jewish tradition can be used to form a lasting, emotional safety net for modern families. Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? is an instant classic.
“A warm book full of tangible advice that will fashion children into committed Jews and menschen; in short, into people who will be a blessing in their own lives and in the lives of all those whom they meet.”
-Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of You Shall Be Holy and The Book of Jewish Values
“Brimming with humor and strategy, love, and secret parent handshakes.”
-Melissa Faye Greene, author of The Temple Bombing, Praying for Sheetrock, and There's No Me Without You
“Sharon Duke Estroff has the uncanny ability to give solid, useful, and practical information on how to raise children while making you laugh out loud at the same time.”
-Stephen Nowicki Jr., Ph.D., ABPP, coauthor of Helping the Child Who Doesn't Fit In and Teaching Your Child the Language of Social Success
“I'm not Jewish, but I love this book. I laughed through it all while still appreciating the serious lessons it teaches. Every mom (and dad) with kids will find themselves nodding and smiling to themselves as they discover each other on every page.”
-Bonnie R. Strickland, Ph.D., ABPP, former president of the American Psychological Association
“This book belongs in the library of every parent and grandparent.”
-Atlanta Jewish Times
"Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah is a valuable must-buy for all Jewish parents, and not just for Hanukkah. Not only does Estroff give practical child rearing advice but her joyful approach to Judaism is a healthy antidote to religious skeptics."
-Hadassah Magazine
"Estroffs witty, sympathetic tone and her attention to ethical matters make her a refreshing authority.”
- Jewish Living Magazine
"Sharon Duke Estroffs Can I have a Cell Phone for Hanukah? is a wise, witty, and insightful guide for parents — both Jews and non-Jews — who are faced with navigating their way through the shoals of contemporary American life."
- Deborah Lipstadt PhD, History on Trial: My Day in Court with David Irving
"One of the best parenting books I've read this year."
-Five Minutes for Mom Blog
"Sharon Duke Estroff has come to the rescue of parents raising children in today's 'overachieving, anxiety- filled culture,' with her concise, insightful and often hilarious guide Can I have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? The Essential Scoop on Raising Modern Jewish Kids."
-Jewish Independent
"From play dates, homework and extracurricular activities, to bar/bat mitzvah,tzedakah and Jewish holidays, with humor and insight Estroff offers suggestions for coping with the day-today challenges of Jewish parenting...an easy read packed with a lot of good,practical advice."
-Chicago Jewish Star
"With Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? a mother will have help navigating her way through the child rearing years and beyond. With humor and in a contemporary modern mind, the book offers wonderfully creative ways to take your children from one subject to another."
-Shalom Newspaper
"Insightful and humorous, Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? covers many of the parenting issues us mommy bloggers banter about every day, such as choosing a kindergarten to teaching your children the value of a dollar. Estroff writes in a fun and catchy rhythm that makes her down-to-earth advice a joy to read, including text peppered with Jewish references that add flavor and voice."
-Mommy Blog Spot
"Peppered with humor, Estroff's book addresses dilemmas that begin as early as the preschool years and evolve throughout elementary school, junior high school and high school. She discusses academic competitiveness, cutthroat soccer games and surviving homework. She guides parents who struggle with the idea that they must provide the most entertaining play dates, most exciting birthday parties and the most lavish b'nai mitzvah receptions."
-Jewish News of Greater Phoenix
"Any parent feeling overwhelmed will find Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? filled with interesting, easy-to-read advice. Estroff has a sense of humor, noting when shes made parenting mistakes and discussing the lessons she learned the hard way. Parenting in the 21st century may not be easy, but Estroff helps make the task a little less difficult."
-The Reporter
"Sharon has filled 'Can I have a Cell Phone' with lots of practical advice for Jewish parents, including how to deal with Santa-envy, how to survive the homework struggle, how to plan a birthday party without breaking your budget and how to help shy kids make friends. Also, there are chapters on grade-school play date protocol and parenting in the Net generation."
-Jewish Literary Review
"Ms. Estroff, mother of four, Jewish educational consultant, and author of a nationally syndicated parenting advice column, writes with wit, candor, and authority. She brings issues and wisdom from her personal parenting experiences, those of the families at her day school, and those from her readers together in gentle, measured, moderate, and reasonable, contemporary guide to raising children."
-Juggling Frogs Jewish Parenting Blog
Synopsis
Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? is an inspiring mix of information, advice, and encouragement for Jewish parents trying to balance family traditions and the realities of contemporary culture. Answering questions old and new, Jewish and secular, it illuminates the ways the Jewish tradition can be used to form a lasting, emotional safety net for modern families.
Focusing primarily on school-aged children, Sharon Estroff discusses how to prepare a child for kindergarten, choose the right school, and deal with classroom bullies— and not-so-great teachers. She tackles the ins-and-outs of play dates (including tips on checking out the hosts’ homes and entertaining kids in your own house) and provides much-needed advice on managing extracurricular activities, from how to keep multiple schedules on track to how to plan around Shabbat to parents’ concerns about their children’ s schoolwork. There’ s also information on supervising a child’ s use of modern technology and an up-to-date listing of Web sites that have great content for kids.
With warmth, wisdom, and a dash of chutzpah, Estroff offers essential guidance on issues like helping a child choose between mandatory baseball practice and Hebrew school. There’ s even a chapter on dealing with Santa-envy and the best ways to ease a Jewish family through the month of December. Written in a down-to-earth, conversational style, Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? is destined to become a parenting classic.
About the Author
SHARON DUKE ESTROFF is an internationally syndicated columnist whose articles on parenting issues within a Jewish context appear in more than fifty publications and reach nearly two million readers. An award-winning educator with experience in both public and private schools, she is currently an educational consultant with Perimeter Education and Psychological Services in Atlanta and co-creator/co-director of Epstein Summer Adventure, a popular Atlanta day camp. She lives in Marietta, Georgia.
Reading Group Guide
1. Describe the first time you caught yourself sizing up your child against other kids (i.e. in baby playgroup, at a pee wee soccer game). Describe a time in the past
week that youve caught yourself doing this. (Come on, you know you have!)
2. Beginning with babyhood, list all the extracurricular activities and enrichment classes outside school that your child has participated in. Which activities have had the most impact on your child? Which-if any-do you view as less beneficial? Now make a list of the extracurriculars you participated in as a child. How do the lists compare? What are your thoughts on this difference?
3. Imagine your child as an adult. What qualities and achievements-both Judaic and general-do you hope to see in him or her? How are you fostering these goals in your daily parenting practices? How might you inadvertently be hindering them?
4. What do you think the Talmudic rabbis meant when they said, “Educate a child according to his way”? Do you think this statement holds true in contemporary times?
5. What type of teacher comments does your child consistently receive on his or her report cards and progress reports? Are these assessments in line with what you know about your child? What do you think this recurring feedback says about your child as a learner?
6. Using the Multiple Intelligences framework in chapter 4, what do you see as your childs natural areas of strength? What opportunities does he/she have to foster them?
7. Reflect on the nightly homework drill at your house. Do any of the parental mistakes in chapter 5 ring especially true to you?
8. How would you characterize your own social experiences as a child? How do you think these experiences impact your feelings and/or level of involvement with your childs social life?
9. We discussed the importance of ritual and repetition in giving kids the stability they need to survive the treacherous terrain of the childhood social existence. What Jewish and secular rituals do you regularly incorporate into your family life?
10. What do you hope your family will gain from your childs bar/bat mitzvah experience? How do you plan to keep these goals throughout the process?
11. Brainstorm ways your school, synagogue and grade-level parent population can help ensure appropriate behavior at bnai mitzvah.
12. Our rich Jewish heritage offers year-round opportunities to strengthen and sustain our children. Share some of your favorite family-friendly traditions for Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Purim, Passover, Hanukkah and other Jewish holidays.
13. Think about conflicts youve had with your kids over purchases and material possessions? How would the Spend/Save/Tzedakah plan help circumvent these situations?
14. How do your own consuming/shopping behaviors manifest themselves in your childrens attitudes and values?
15. Do you know what your child does online? (Are you sure?!)? Do you have parental monitoring software in place? What other measures do you take to ensure your childs cyber-well-being?
16. How do you think the internet impacts your child-and modern children as a whole-both positively and negatively?
1. Describe the first time you caught yourself sizing up your child against other kids (i.e. in baby playgroup, at a pee wee soccer game). Describe a time in the past
week that youve caught yourself doing this. (Come on, you know you have!)
2. Beginning with babyhood, list all the extracurricular activities and enrichment classes outside school that your child has participated in. Which activities have had the most impact on your child? Which–if any–do you view as less beneficial? Now make a list of the extracurriculars you participated in as a child. How do the lists compare? What are your thoughts on this difference?
3. Imagine your child as an adult. What qualities and achievements–both Judaic and general–do you hope to see in him or her? How are you fostering these goals in your daily parenting practices? How might you inadvertently be hindering them?
4. What do you think the Talmudic rabbis meant when they said, “Educate a child according to his way”? Do you think this statement holds true in contemporary times?
5. What type of teacher comments does your child consistently receive on his or her report cards and progress reports? Are these assessments in line with what you know about your child? What do you think this recurring feedback says about your child as a learner?
6. Using the Multiple Intelligences framework in chapter 4, what do you see as your childs natural areas of strength? What opportunities does he/she have to foster them?
7. Reflect on the nightly homework drill at your house. Do any of the parental mistakes in chapter 5 ring especially true to you?
8. How would you characterize your own social experiences as a child? How do you think these experiences impact your feelings and/or level of involvement with your childs social life?
9. We discussed the importance of ritual and repetition in giving kids the stability they need to survive the treacherous terrain of the childhood social existence. What Jewish and secular rituals do you regularly incorporate into your family life?
10. What do you hope your family will gain from your childs bar/bat mitzvah experience? How do you plan to keep these goals throughout the process?
11. Brainstorm ways your school, synagogue and grade-level parent population can help ensure appropriate behavior at bnai mitzvah.
12. Our rich Jewish heritage offers year-round opportunities to strengthen and sustain our children. Share some of your favorite family-friendly traditions for Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Purim, Passover, Hanukkah and other Jewish holidays.
13. Think about conflicts youve had with your kids over purchases and material possessions? How would the Spend/Save/Tzedakah plan help circumvent these situations?
14. How do your own consuming/shopping behaviors manifest themselves in your childrens attitudes and values?
15. Do you know what your child does online? (Are you sure?!)? Do you have parental monitoring software in place? What other measures do you take to ensure your childs cyber-well-being?
16. How do you think the internet impacts your child–and modern children as a whole–both positively and negatively?
The introduction, discussion questions and author bio that follow are intended to enhance parents and educators understanding and application of
Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah?, while providing Jewish day schools, preschools, religious schools, synagogues, community centers, book clubs and independent parent groups with a curriculum for a parenting class based on the concepts in the book.. For more information about the author and book, please visit
www.shareonestroff.com.
An Introduction from the Author
I used to have a kitchen drawer crammed with instruction manuals for my childrens stuff-page after page of excruciating detail on how to assemble everything from baby swings to bubble mowers to bicycles. It seemed, in fact, that the only things in my house that didnt come with an instruction manual were my four children themselves.
Sure I had your standard “What to Expect” fare; but those guides fizzled out by my kids third birthdays, leaving me instruction manual-impoverished by the time they hit kindergarten. It was right about then that I began showing symptoms of the five-zillion-unanswered-questions syndrome. My neighbor says her five-year-old is reading Harry Potter, Id worry, but my kindergartener has barely graduated from Bob books-does he need a tutor? I havent planned a single playdate for my daughter this school year and its almost Yom Kuppur, Id stress, have I sealed her fate as a social paraiah? My son feels slighted by Santa Claus, what should I tell him? You get the picture. After many years spent both personally and professionally in the trenches of Jewish parenthood, I understood I was not alone in my plight. That in fact, those five zillion unanswered questions circulate through the modern Jewish parent population like dreidels at Hanukkah.
Can I Have a Cell Phone for Hanukkah? is a one of a kind, comprehensive, Jewish parents instruction manual that covers everything from Barbie cell phones to Santa-envy to bar/bat mitzvah excess to extracurricular overload. With its combination of practical answers, solid philosophical foundation, and timeless Judaic values, modern Jewish moms and dads will have the information, advice, and encouragement they need to answer a lifetime of parenting questions.