Synopses & Reviews
Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break.
Macbeth, Act IV, Scene 3
William Shakespeare
At times of death and grief, the task of planning a funeral or memorial service often falls to survivors who are unprepared to think about such an event-especially if they are alienated from formal religious traditions or from their families. Nevertheless, those who mourn need to give voice to their sorrow. The grief that does not "speak" in some way-through crying, talking, rituals, tributes, or creative expression-remains unresolved.
For centuries, religious traditions have provided society with rituals for expressing such feelings and finding peace. But for many people today, those rituals have become empty, awkward, or irrelevant.
Remembering Well offers family members, clergy, funeral professionals, and hospice workers ways to plan services and rituals that honor the spirit of the deceased and are faithful to that person's values and beliefs, while also respecting the needs and wishes of those who will attend the services. It is an essential resource for anyone who yearns to put death in a spiritual context but is unsure how to do so-including both those who have broken with tradition and those who wish to give new meaning to the time-honored rituals of their faith.
The real-life stories, examples, and practical guidelines in this book address a wide array of important issues, including the difficult decisions that survivors must make quickly when a death occurs-and the sensitive topic of family alienation, where possibilities for healing, forgiveness, and hope are explored. The invaluable insights offered here will help those who grieve to prepare mind and spirit for life's final rites of passage.
An essential resource for all who yearn to put death in a spiritual context but are unsure how to do so
"All persons touched by the death of loved ones, and the friends and professionals summoned to shelter and encourage them, will benefit greatly from this comprehensive and compassionate, gifted and grace-filled book."
—Bill Wallace, rector, Emmanuel Church in the City of Boston, and founder of the nation's first acute inpatient AIDS hospice, The Hospice at Mission Hill
"Sarah York knows the terrain of the human heart. Her capacity to assess cultural hungers and her imaginative development of meaningful rituals that combine ancient forms with new sensibilities is outstanding. Remembering Well is a gem to treasure and use."
—Sharon Daloz Parks, coauthor, Common Fire: Leading Lives of Commitment in a Complex World
"A unique and remarkable gift for those who suffer a devastating loss and don't know where to turn or what to do. Make sure you have it on your shelves for a very, very rainy day."
—Forrest Church, author, Lifecraft: The Art of Meaning in the Everyday
"In this beautifully written book, Sarah York teaches us how to be courageous in the face of death. I would trust her with my grief."
—Sylvia Ann Hewlett, economist and writer, fellow, Center for the Study of Values in Public Life, Harvard Divinity School
"Sarah York's book offers the compassionate guidance we need when grieving to heal our hearts. I can't recommend this book highly enough."
—Jennifer Louden, author, The Women's Comfort Book and The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life
Review
Jossey-Bass, which numbers both professional and consumers as its readers, found a book that speaks to both ministers and mourners in Remember Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death by Sarah York (Sept. 2000), a Unitarian minister. In nine months, 15,000 copies have been shipped, with minimal returns. "For a book on a tough topic of death and dying from a relatively unknown author, this title has been a home run in the trade," says Mark Kerr, marketing manager.(Publishers Weekly July 2, 2001)
"All persons touched by the death of loved ones, and the friends and professionals summoned to shelter and encourage them, will benefit greatly from this comprehensive and compassionate, gifted and grace-filled book." (Bill Wallace, rector, Emmanuel Church in the City of Boston, and founder of the nation's first acute inpatient AIDS hospice, The Hospice at Mission Hill)
"Sarah York knows the terrain of the human heart. Her capacity to assess cultural hungers and her imaginative development of meaningful rituals that combine ancient forms with new sensibilities is outstanding. Remembering Well is a gem to treasure and use." (Sharon Daloz Parks, coauthor, Common Fire: Leading Lives of Commitment in a Complex World)
"A unique and remarkable gift for those who suffer a devastating loss and don't know where to turn or what to do. Make sure you have it on your shelves for a very, very rainy day." (Forrest Church, author, Lifecraft: The Art of Meaning in the Everyday)
"In this beautifully written book, Sarah York teaches us how to be courageous in the face of death. I would trust her with my grief." (Sylvia Ann Hewlett, economist and writer, fellow, Center for the Study of Values in Public Life, Harvard Divinity School)
"Sarah York's book offers the compassionate guidance we need when grieving to heal our hearts. I can't recommend this book highly enough." (Jennifer Louden, author, The Women's Comfort Book and The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life)
Synopsis
Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speakWhispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break.Macbeth, Act IV, Scene 3William ShakespeareAt times of death and grief, the task of planning a funeral or memorial service often falls to survivors who are unprepared to think about such an event-especially if they are alienated from formal religious traditions or from their families. Nevertheless, those who mourn need to give voice to their sorrow. The grief that does not "speak" in some way-through crying, talking, rituals, tributes, or creative expression-remains unresolved.For centuries, religious traditions have provided society with rituals for expressing such feelings and finding peace. But for many people today, those rituals have become empty, awkward, or irrelevant.Remembering Well offers family members, clergy, funeral professionals, and hospice workers ways to plan services and rituals that honor the spirit of the deceased and are faithful to that person's values and beliefs, while also respecting the needs and wishes of those who will attAnd the services. It is an essential resource for anyone who yearns to put death in a spiritual context but is unsure how to do so-including both those who have broken with tradition and those who wish to give new meaning to the time-honored rituals of their faith.The real-life stories, examples, and practical guidelines in this book address a wide array of important issues, including the difficult decisions that survivors must make quickly when a death occurs-and the sensitive topic of family alienation, where possibilities for healing, forgiveness, and hope are explored. The invaluable insights offered here will help those who grieve to prepare mind and spirit for life's final rites of passage.
Synopsis
Remembering Well offers family members, clergy, funeral professionals, and hospice workers ways to plan services and rituals that honor the spirit of the deceased and are faithful to that person's values and beliefs, while also respecting the needs and wishes of those who will attAnd the services. It is an essential resource for anyone who yearns to put death in a spiritual context but is unsure how to do so-including both those who have broken with tradition and those who wish to give new meaning to the time-honored rituals of their faith.
The real-life stories, examples, and practical guidelines in this book address a wide array of important issues, including the difficult decisions that survivors must make quickly when a death occurs-and the sensitive topic of family alienation, where possibilities for healing, forgiveness, and hope are explored. The invaluable insights offered here will help those who grieve to prepare mind and spirit for life's final rites of passage.
About the Author
SARAH YORK As a Unitarian Universalist Minister (MDiv, Harvard Divinity School), Sarah York has been involved in planning many funerals and memorial services. She has served three diverse congregations in the past eighteen years and currently resides near Asheville, North Carolina.
Table of Contents
Preface.
Gratitudes.
1. Giving Sorrow Words: Families and Funerals.
2. In Loving Memory: Composing a Service.
3. Inviting Holy Space: Prayers and Meditations, Candles and Poetry.
4. Decisions: Thinking When You Are Least Able to Think.
5. Soul Sketch: Creating a Memorial Portrait.
6. All Deaths Are Not Equal: The Many Faces of Death.
7. Family Ties and Family Lies: When Your Family Is Alienated.
8. Earth, Air, Fire, Water: Committal Ceremonies.
9. The Seasons of Grief: Rituals Through the First Year and Beyond.
Epilogue.
Notes.
Resource One: Between Death and Committal: Blessing and Preparing a Body.
Resource Two: Five Services Created by Families and Friends.
Resource Three: Readings, Prayers, and Blessings.
Recommended Reading and Resources.
The Author.
Index.