Synopses & Reviews
Domestic violence in gay male relationships is the third largest health problem for gay men in America today. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them breaks the silence surrounding gay male domestic violence and exposes this hidden yet prevalent and destructive problem. The authors paint a vivid picture of gay men 's domestic violence, bringing its brutality to life by including personal narratives, written by one of the authors, by clearly defining what it is and what it is not through lists of violent acts and criminal code categories, and by thoroughly examining and analyzing the criminal, mental health, medical, political, and interpersonal issues involved. The authors boldly depart from the battered women 's literature by asserting that batterers have a diagnosable mental disorder, that battering is not gender based, and that much further criminalization of domestic violence is necessary.Striving for victim advocacy, the book underscores the idea that gay men 's domestic violence is totally unacceptable and is caused solely by individual abusive gay men who choose to batter. The book builds on and departs from what is known about domestic violence, with the authors challenging several fundamental premises in the literature, unabashedly identifying battering as a mental disorder. The authors explain that victims cannot stop their battering partners from battering and virtually all batterers choose to harm their partners in a premeditated fashion. The authors provide practical steps and suggestions for victims who want to leave and stay away from their violent partners and for friends who want to help battered gay men. Chapters describe the scope of the problem and refute myths and misconceptions. There are several detailed theory chapters in which the authors explain why gay men 's domestic violence occurs, who the batterers are, who the victims are at different stages of victimization, and how domestic violence can be stopped. A visionary, wide-ranging governmental and private plan of action is introduced, including lists of necessary laws and policies, as well as outlines of strong education, training, and advertising problems needed in various sectors of society. As a self-help book, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them provides practical information on a never-before discussed topic. As a trainer 's manual or teaching guide, it includes specific criteria for understanding the problem and for providing treatment.
Review
“Domestic Violence and Sexuality changes the public story about domestic violence. The heart of the book is the rich trove of interviews in which female and male identified survivors reflect on their experience. Respectful, often heartbreaking, and always instructive, this work sets a gold standard for how we understand domestic abuse in same-sex relationships.”
Review
“Donovan and Hester present compelling new research that explores love and violence in both same-sex and heterosexual relationships. We see the impact of societal and cultural beliefs on experiences of domestic violence across different genders and sexualities. This is essential reading for researchers and practitioners who want to stop partner abuse and promote respectful and equal relationships.”
Review
“This book is not just about domestic violence and abuse in same-sex relationships, although its contributions in that arena would be more than enough for me to call it a ‘must read. Beyond that, Donovan and Hesters analysis of their data in terms of both power/control and practices of love provides insights that go beyond same-sex relationships and beyond intimate partner violence.”
Synopsis
This book provides the first detailed discussion of domestic violence and abuse in same-sex relationships, offering a unique comparison between same-sex and heterosexual contexts. Catherine Donovan and Marianne Hester examine how experiences of domestic violence and abuse are shaped by gender, sexuality, and age, seeking to understand what factors drive victims to seek—or not seek—help. Employing a methodology that includes both quantitative and qualitative research, they provide a new framework of analysis—what they call “practices of love”—that challenges heteronormative models of engaging domestic violence in research, policy, and practice.
About the Author
Catherine Donovan is professor of social relations at the University of Sunderland. She is coauthor of
Families of Choice and Other Life Experiments.
Marianne Hester
Table of Contents
What is the problem?
How did we research? The COHSAR research approach
Setting the Context - Sexuality matters
Identifying and experiencing domestic violence and abuse
Whats Love got to do with it? Barriers to help seeking - Tackling the Gap of Trust
Key Findings and Implications for Practice