The participant's essential guide to reflection and personal growthBeyond Anger and Violence: A Program for Women Participant Workbook is the participant's personal place for reflection, reactions, and learning, during and after management sessions. The activities inside reinforce program lessons about anger and violence, including how families, relationships, communities, and society affect one's life. In learning about the relationships between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, participants can begin to grasp a better self-understanding that will help them manage anger in a healthier, more productive manner. They'll develop new skills for communication, conflict resolution, and decision-making, and will be introduced to a variety of calming techniques.
Beyond Anger and Violence is a 40-hour, evidence-based program designed for women who have difficulty managing anger. Based on a social-ecological model, the program addresses the factors that put people at risk for experiencing overwhelming feelings of anger, and perpetrating assaults or destruction of property. This curriculum acknowledges anger as a normal, appropriate, and human emotion, but also recognizes the destruction it can lead to if allowed to get out of control. This workbook will help guide participants through the program, reinforcing the discussions held in session. Topics include:
- The effects of trauma
- Relationships and communication, control, and conflict
- The importance of safety and the power of community
- Self-transformation, and creating change
The workbook also includes a Daily Anger Log, a Self-Reflection Tool, and list of yoga poses that can have a calming effect on both body and mind. Participants may already recognize the effects of anger on their lives, and that it may even be affecting their health. Through the Beyond Anger and Violence program, and the exercises in this workbook, they can join a group of women working to create a less-violent world.
Introduction xi
Orientation Session 1
Overview of the Program 1
Your Workbook 2
Group Introductions 3
Topics Covered in this Program 3
Group Agreements 4
Triggers and Coping Tools 5
Five Senses 6
Breathing and Exhaling 6
Statistics on Violence in the United States 7
Definition of Violence 9
The Social-Ecological Model (People in the Environment) 9
Creating a Container 13
Discovering Your Anger Style 15
Assignment 17
Self-Soothing Activity: Palms Down, Palms Up 18
Part A: Self 19
Session One: Thinking Our Thoughts 21
The Spiral of Violence and Nonviolence 22
Cognitive Distortion 23
My Typical Distorted Thinking 25
Feelings Inside and Outside 27
The DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 28
Understanding Keila 28
Understanding Me 30
Assignment 32
Session Two: Feeling Our Feelings 35
Identifying Feelings 36
Beliefs About Feelings 39
Intensity of Feelings 40
Emotional Wellness 44
Feelings and the Body 45
When Feelings Threaten to Overwhelm You 46
The Observer Self 47
Assignment 48
Session Three: Violence and Trauma in Our Lives 49
Types of Abuse 50
The Process of Trauma 50
Calming Strategies 54
Two Calming Activities 54
Daily Anger Log 56
Assignment 57
Session Four: The Effects of Trauma 59
Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey 60
The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study 62
The Effects of Trauma and Substance Use on the Brain 63
Risk Factors for Addiction 64
Personal Experiences with Substances 65
Triggers and the Body 67
Yoga Poses and the Mind-Body Connection 70
Assignment 70
Session Five: Women and Anger 73
Understanding Our Anger 74
Words for Anger 75
Contents vii
Meeting a Feeling 76
The Anger Funnel 77
Anger Triggers 79
Hidden Anger 80
Self-Inflicted Violence 81
Personal Anger Inventory 82
Assignment 88
Session Six: Tools for Managing Anger 91
Anger Management Strategies 92
Anger Dos and Don’ts 93
Self-Reflection Tool 95
My Personal Best 99
Assignment 100
Session Seven: Understanding Ourselves 101
DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 102
Understanding My Anger 104
Understanding My Behavior 106
Becoming Whole 108
Assignment 110
Part B: Relationships 111
Session Eight: Our Families 113
Self-Soothing Activity: Deep Breathing 114
Risk Factors 114
Family Sculpture 115
The Cost of Violence 116
Feelings and the Family 117
The Family Anger Questionnaire 118
Wheel of the Nurturing Family 122
Assignment 125
Session Nine: Communication 127
Communication Styles 128
Nonverbal Communication 129
Communicating Emotions 130
Strategies for Creating Connection in Communication 131
Responses to Stress 132
Assignment 134
Session Ten: Power and Control 135
The Power and Control Wheel 136
Types of Abuse in Relationships 140
The Violence Continuum 142
Escalation and De-escalation 144
Assignment 145
Session Eleven: Conflict Resolution 147
Fair Fighting 148
Words, Words, Words 150
Impulse Control 151
The Equality Wheel 153
Assignment 155
Session Twelve: Creating Our Relationships 157
Falling in Love 158
Love and Addiction 159
Contrasting Intimate Relationships and Addictive Relationships 160
How to End a Relationship 161
Assignment 162
Part C: Community 163
Session Thirteen: Our Communities 165
Self-Soothing Activity: Progressive Muscle Relaxation 166
Our Communities 169
Visualization 170
Friendship 173
Assignment 174
What’s in a Name? 176
Session Fourteen: The Importance of Safety 177
Safety in the Community 178
The Four Kinds of Safety 179
Environment and Behavior 181
Safe and Unsafe Environments 182
Safety and the Body 183
Community Maps 184
Assignment 187
Session Fifteen: Creating Community 189
DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 190
Crossroads 192
Making Good Decisions 194
Assignment 196
Session Sixteen: The Power of Community 199
DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 200
Activity: Writing About a Kind Act 201
Assignment 202
Part D: Society 203
Session Seventeen: Society and Violence 205
Self-Soothing Activity: Breathing in the Positive 206
Reviewing the Risks for Violence 207
The Culture Wheel 208
Institutional and Cultural Supports for Domestic Violence 210
Working to End Violence 212
Art as an Expression of the Levels of Violence 215
Assignment 217
Session Eighteen: Creating Change 221
Health, Harmony, and Wholeness 222
The Spirals of Transformation 224
Assignment 226
Session Nineteen: Transforming Our Lives 227
Visualization 228
The Role of Remorse in Transformation 229
The Process of Transformation 230
Making Amends 231
Forgiveness 232
Assignment 233
Session Twenty: Honoring Ourselves and Our Community 235
The Relational Wheel 236
Are You Becoming the Person You Want to Be? 238
ORID 239
Appreciation 241
Appendix 1: Daily Anger Log 243
Appendix 2: Self-Reflection Tool 251
Appendix 3: Yoga Poses 261
1. Breath of Joy 261
2. Seated Pigeon’s Pose 262
3. Modified Triangle 263
4. Twisted Branches to Open Wings 264
References 267
About the Author 271
About the Cover 273
Feedback Form 275