Synopses & Reviews
Motherhood can be one of the most intense and transformative experiences of a woman's life. While many books explore the do's and don'ts of effective parenting, few offer guidance on navigating the tumultuous inner experience of being a mother, with all its joy, pain, change, and uncertainty.
Your Children Will Raise You explores the profound inward challenges and rewards of motherhood, from first giving birth to the empty nest.
The editor—herself a mother of two sons—has chosen some of the most insightful writings about the emotional and spiritual landscape of motherhood—twenty-four essays in all—drawn from the best books, articles, and essays, as well as two original essays. The authors speak from a variety of backgrounds and perspectives, each exploring a unique dimension of the journey of motherhood.
Your Children Will Raise You features writings by
Poet and novelist Louise Erdrich, who captures the sheer wonder and awe of early motherhood.
Ariel Gore—a self-described "hip-momma," fully in touch with today's youth culture—who reflects on the challenges of dealing with her own daughter's adolescent rebellion.
Journalist Joan Peters, who highlights the rise of the "Power Mom" and the risks of overparenting to our children and to ourselves.
Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—husband and wife psychotherapists—explore why it is that our own childhoods so often come back to haunt us when we become parents ourselves.
Zen teacher Cheri Huber offers a spiritual perspective: sometimes it's us parents who need a "time out"—time to get in touch with ourselves so we can be more fully present and loving with our children.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi
PART ONE: THE REALITY OF BEING A MOTHER
Writings from a Birth Year Louise Erdrich 3
A Crash Course in Vulnerability and Other Lessons Harriet Lerner 13
Anger and Tenderness Adrienne Rich 26
Giving Birth to Ambivalence Andrea J. Buchanan 32
My Daughter at Fourteen Carolyn Magner Mason 39
The Way I Dreamed It Ariel Gore 43
One Week until College Sandi Kahn Shelton 50
PART TWO: THE INNER WORK OF MOTHERHOOD
Dawn Rabbi Nancy Fuchs-Kreimer 59
Children as Spiritual Teachers Cheryl Dimof 68
Responding to "Bad" Behavior Wendy Mogel 76
Parenting with Mindful Awareness Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn 90
Recognizing Our Hidden Wounds Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt 99
The Sacred Chaos of Parenthood Carolyn R. Gimian 114
"Exceptional" Mothering in a Normal World Miriam Greenspan 126
PART THREE: WHY IS BEING A MOTHER SO HARD?
GuiltWhat It Does to Us Anne Roiphe 147
The New Momism Susan J. Douglas and Meredith W. Michaels 157
Power Moms and the Problem of Overparenting Joan K. Peters 176
Claiming the Joy Daphne de Marneffe 189
PART FOUR: FINDING BALANCE
Tell Your Secrets Ariel Gore 203
Simplicity Katrina Kenison 207
I'm Breathing, Are You? Nancy Hathaway 214
Good-bye Herd Muffy Mead-Ferro 225
Time-Out for Parents Cheri Huber and Melinda Guyol 235
Sitting in Happy Denise Roy 244
Contributors 247
Credits 253