Synopses & Reviews
Pamela Haag has written
the generational "big book" on modern marriage, a mesmerizing, sometimes salacious look at the semi-happy ambivalence lurking just below the surface of many marriages today. The spouses may rarely fight—they may maintain a sincere affection for each other—but one or both may harbor a melancholy sense that something important is missing.
Remarkably, this side of the marriage story hasn't been told or analyzed—until now.
Meticulously researched and injected with insightful firsthand accounts and welcome doses of humor, Marriage Confidential articulates for a generation that grew up believing they would "have it all" why they have ended up disenchanted. Haag introduces us to contemporary marriages where spouses act more like life partners than lovers; children occupy an uncontested position at the center of the marital relationship; and even the romantic staples of sexual fidelity and passion are assailed from all sides—so much so that spouses can end up having affairs online almost by accident.
Blending tales from the front lines of matrimony with cultural history, surveys, and research covert-ops (such as joining an online affair-finding site and posting a personal ad in the New York Review of Books), Haag paints a detailed picture of the state of marriage today. And to show what's possible as well as what's melancholy in our post-romantic age, Haag seeks out marriages with a twist—rebels who are quietly brainstorming and evolving the scripts around career, money, social life, child rearing, and sex.
Provocative but sympathetic, forward-thinking and bold, here, at last, is a manifesto for living large in marriage.
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“Pamela Haag takes a fresh look at the state of our legal unions.” < i=""> More <>
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“Marriage Confidential is so rare, such a pleasantly charming pearl of great price . . . You learn something, but you hardly notice because youre having such a good time.;. . . Flat-out brilliant.” < i=""> Washington Post Book World <>
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“In this timely and thought-provoking analysis of modern coupledom, Pamela Haag paints a vivid tableau of the ‘semi-happy couple. Written with wit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against our marital complacency.” Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity
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“Throughout her initial analysis she is spot-on. . . . [with a] sharp, erudite style . . . Haag has her capable finger on the pulse of the American marriage.” < i=""> Publishers Weekly <> (starred review)
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“The perfect book club choice.;. . . Free of the inflammatory politics and cultural baggage that usually accompanies the topic.;. . . It does make you reflect on modern mating habits. Its fun.” < i=""> USA Today <>
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“If youre coupled upor want to beyouve got to read this.” < i=""> Glamour <>
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“[A] fun, interesting read.” < i=""> TODAY <>
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"Provocative." < i=""> The Times <> (London)
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“[Haag] wittily and meticulously explores what sets apart those who suffer quietly in their semi-happy marriages from those who take action-whether that action is working to improve the situation, splitting up, retreating to a man cave or having an affair.” BookPage
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“Haags well-researched provocative study will get you thinking.” < i=""> People <> , "Great Summer Reads"
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“A startlingly honest and surprisingly funny account of marital discontent…. Avoiding comfortable bromides and rejecting the usual clichés, Haag reports on how married people really live these days…. This is one of the few books around with something new to say about the travails of modern love and coupledom.” Laura Kipnis, author of < i=""> Against Love: A Polemic <> and < i=""> How to Become a Scandal <>
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“Brilliant. . . . Marriage Confidential is both laugh-out-loud funny and gasp-out-loud shocking, and nothing less than a Feminine Mystique for our time. Mark my words, your marriage will change after reading this book.” Debby Applegate, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of < i=""> The Most Famous Man in America: The Biography of Henry Ward Beecher <>
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“The personal is political after all. This first big history of the marriages of the post-feminist generation tells a riveting story of how socially empowered women-including many who opted out-and their mates are still struggling to find happiness in their personal lives.” Linda Hirshman, author of < i=""> Get to Work: . . . And Get a Life, Before It's Too Late <>
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“[Haag] doesnt shy away from controversy in discussing how some marriage ‘rebels try to breathe new life into their relationships. A candid and thought-provoking read.” Stephanie Coontz, author of < i=""> Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage <>
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"Throughout her initial analysis she is spot-on. . . . [with a] sharp, erudite style . . . Haag has her capable finger on the pulse of the American marriage." < i=""> Publishers Weekly <> (starred review)
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“I read it voraciously. . . . [Haag] is thoughtful, engaging, unconventional, and amusing.” Bella DePaulo, < i=""> Psychology Today <>
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“A fascinating journey through the evolution of marriage.” < i=""> Date Night Magazine <>
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“Fascinating. . . . Couldnt be more timely or relevant.” Huffington Post
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“The chances are, this book describes your marriage. . . . Its also an entertaining read.” < i=""> Mail on Sunday <> (UK)
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“Provocative.” < i=""> The Times <> (London)
Synopsis
“Inthis timely and thought-provoking analysis of modern coupledom, PamelaHaagand paints a vivid tableau of the ‘semi-happy couple. Written withwit and aplomb, this page turner will instigate an insurrection against ourmarital complacency.” —Esther Perel, author of
Matingin CaptivityWrittenwith the persuasive power of Naomi Wolf and the analytical skills of Susan Faludi, Pamela Haags provocative but sympathetic look atthe state of marriage today answers—and goes beyond—the question many of us are asking: "Is this all there is?"
About the Author
Pamela Haag earned a Ph.D. in history from Yale after attending Swarthmore College. She has worked as director of research for the American Association of University Women and as a speechwriter, and has written for the American Scholar, the Christian Science Monitor, the Michigan Quarterly Review, the Huffington Post, and NPR, among others. She has held fellowships from the National Endowment for the Humanities and the Mellon Foundation and a postdoctoral fellowship at Brown University.