Synopses & Reviews
Sooner or later, all parents face the question of how to talk to their children about death. What do you say when the goldfish dies? Do you lie about it or tell the truth? What if it's a beloved grandparent who dies? For Patty Dann it was harder still: her husband, still in his forties, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He had one year to live, two at the most.
In this spirited and startlingly honest memoir, Dann takes us on her journey with her three-year-old son a journey that cycles through grief and anger, but also through humor, joy, empowerment, and ultimately acceptance. After diagnosis, Dann struggles with the question of how to help her son face the illness and loss of his father. With the guidance of a wonderful child psychologist and close friends, Dann resolves to tell her son the whole truth about what's happening. She will encourage him to face the decline and loss of his father directly and honestly, with support from her and others who care about him.
Written in a series of moving and surprisingly uplifting vignettes, Dann shares the tender moments, buoyant spirit, and key insights that helped her and her child to make it through their ordeal.
Review
"That Dann's memoir is filled with brave arguments for accepting death may underscore the very natural difficulty most people have in doing so." New York Times
Synopsis
The moment when Patty Danns husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, she felt as though the ground had dropped out beneath her. Her grief, however, was immediately interrupted by the realization that she would have to tell their three-year-old son, Jake, that his father was dying. The prognosis gave her husband just a year to live. In that short time, the three of themPatty, Willem, and Jakewould have to find a way to live with the illness and prepare for his death.
Written with disarming honesty, courage, and humor, Patty weaves together a series of vignettes that chart her and Jakes eventual acceptance of their new familythrough coping with the daily challenges, the sorrow, and the uncertainty, as well as embracing the surprising moments of beauty and acceptance. As much about exploring memory as it is about appreciating the moment, this captivating narrative will serve as a genuine comfort to anyone surprised by grief.
About the Author
Patty Dann is the author of Sweet & Crazy; Mermaids, which was turned into a film starring Cher, Winona Ryder, and Christina Ricci; and The Baby Boat, an account of her own experiences adopting a child from Lithuania. Her articles have appeared in the New York Times, O magazine, Redbook, More magazine, and the Chicago Tribune. She has an M.F.A. in writing from Columbia University and a B.A. from the University of Oregon. Dann has taught at Sarah Lawrence College and the West Side YMCA. She currently lives in New York City with her son.