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The Singular Mark Twain: A Biography
by Fred Kaplan
American Radical
A review by Christopher Hitchens
There are four rules governing literary art in the domain of biography some
say five. In The Singular Mark Twain, Fred Kaplan violates all five of
them. These five require:
1) That a biography shall cause us to wish we had known its subject in person,
and inspire in us a desire to improve on such vicarious acquaintance as we possess.
The Singular Mark Twain arouses in the reader an urgently fugitive instinct,
as at the approach of an unpolished yet tenacious raconteur.
2) That the elements of biography make a distinction between the essential and
the inessential, winnowing the quotidian and burnishing those moments of glory
and elevation that place a human life in the first rank. The Singular Mark
Twain puts all events and conversations on the same footing, and fails to
enforce any distinction between wood and trees.
3) That a biographer furnish something by way of context, so that the place
of the subject within history and society is illuminated, and his progress through
life made intelligible by reference to his times. This condition is by no means
met in The Singular Mark Twain.
4) That the private person be allowed to appear in all his idiosyncrasy, and
not as a mere reflection of the correspondence or reminiscences of others, or
as a subjective projection of the mind of the biographer. But this rule is flung
down and danced upon in The Singular Mark Twain.
5) That a biographer have some conception of his subject, which he wishes to
advance or defend against prevailing or even erroneous interpretations. This
detail, too, has been overlooked in The Singular Mark Twain.
As can readily be seen from this attempt on my part at a pastiche of Twain's
hatchet-wielding arraignment of James Fenimore Cooper (and of Cooper's anti-masterpiece
The
Deerslayer), the work of Samuel Langhorne Clemens is in the proper sense
inimitable. But it owes this quality to certain irrepressible elements many
of them quite noir in the makeup of the man himself. I reflect on Mark
Twain and I see not just the man who gave us Judge Thatcher's fetching daughter
but also the figure who wrote so cunningly about the charm of underage girls
and so bluntly about defloration. The man who impaled the founder of Christian
Science on a stake of contemptuous ridicule and who dismissed the Book of Mormon
as "chloroform in print." The man who was so livid with anger at his country's
arrogance abroad that he laid aside his work to inveigh against imperialism.
The man who addressed an after-dinner gathering of the Stomach Club, in Paris,
on the subject of masturbation, and demonstrated that he had done the hard thinking
about hand jobs. Flickers of this enormous and subversive personality illumine
Kaplan's narrative, but only rarely, and then in the manner of the lightning
bug that Twain himself contrasted with the lightning.
Ernest Hemingway's much cited truism to the effect that Huckleberry
Finn hadn't been transcended by any subsequent American writer
understated, if anything, the extent to which Twain was not just a founding
author but a founding American. Until his appearance, even writers as adventurous
as Hawthorne and Melville would have been gratified to receive the praise of
a comparison to Walter Scott. (A boat named the Walter Scott is sunk
with some ignominy in Chapter 13 of Huckleberry Finn.) Twain originated
in the riverine, slaveholding heartland; compromised almost as much as Missouri
itself when it came to the Civil War; headed out to California ("the Lincoln
of our literature" made a name in the state that Lincoln always hoped to see
and never did); and conquered the eastern seaboard in his own sweet time. But
though he had an unimpeachable claim to be from native ground, there was nothing
provincial or crabbed about his declaration of independence for American letters.
(His evisceration of Cooper can be read as an assault on any form of pseudo-native
authenticity.) More than most of his countrymen, he voyaged around the world
and pitted himself against non-American authors of equivalent contemporary weight.
What about his name? Kaplan's title and introduction imply a contradiction between
the uniqueness of the man and the suggestion, in his selection of a nom de plume,
of a divided self. When I was a lad, I am quite sure, I read of the young Clemens's
listening to the incantation of a leadsman plumbing the shoals from the bow
of a riverboat and calling out, "By the mark twain!" as he indicated the
deeps and shallows. This story, if true, would account for both the first and
the second name, and it would also be apt in seeing both as derived from life
on the Mississippi. But there's some profit (not all that much, but some) in
doing as Kaplan does and speculating on other origins. In 1901 Twain told an
audience at the Lotos Club, in New York, "When I was born, I was a member of
a firm of twins. And one of them disappeared." This was not the case, but by
1901 Twain had been Twain for thirty-eight years (a decade longer than he had
been Samuel Clemens), and had probably acquired a repertoire of means by which
to answer a stale question from the audience. Twinship and impersonation come
up in his stories, it is true. Pudd'nhead Wilson relies on the old fantasy
of the changeling, and notebook scenarios for late Huck and Tom stories involve
rapid switches of identity, with elements of racial as well as sexual cross-dressing.
But then, how new is the discovery that Twain never lost his access to the marvels
and memories of childhood?
Clearly, he meant to create a mild form of mystery if he could, because elsewhere
he claimed to have annexed the name from "one Captain Isaiah Sellers who used
to write river news over it for the New Orleans Picayune." But the Picayune
never carried any such byline. And Twain was known all his life to be fond of
hoaxes and spoofs in print, among them the "Petrified Man." So, absent any new
or decisive information, this portentous search for the roots of an identity
crisis may be somewhat pointless.
One of the difficulties confronting a Twain biographer is the sheer volume of
ink the man expended on his own doings. One needs a persuasive reason for preferring
a secondhand account of an episode that is already available in the original.
Take, for instance, Twain's inglorious participation on the Confederate side
in the Civil War. We already have his own hilarious but sour account of this
interlude, in "The Private History of a Campaign That Failed," a sort of brief
and memoiristic precursor of The Good Soldier Schweik. This melancholy,
rueful, and slightly self-hating account of cowardice and bravado, with its
awful culmination in the slaying of an innocent, clearly sets the tone for all
Twain's later writings on the subject of war. Kaplan furnishes a brisk yet somehow
trudging précis of the "Private History," adding that it is "undoubtedly
partly fictional" but declining to say in what respect this is so or how he
knows it.
It is much the same when we come to the fabled voyage of the good ship Quaker
City to the Holy Land and back. This wickedly close observation of the habits
and mentality of the common American pilgrim was a huge sensation when first
published, and it is easy to see even today how scandalized the pious and the
respectable must have been. But how much fun is there to be had in scanning
a condensed and potted summary of Innocents
Abroad? Moreover, and as with the Civil War passage, Kaplan almost bowdlerizes
the tale by omitting much of Twain's original pungency and contempt, or by rendering
it very indirectly.
One would be grateful for some idea of the root of Twain's dislike for religiosity,
and especially of his revulsion from Christianity. In a somewhat oblique earlier
passage Kaplan suggests that it originated in shock at the death of his brother
Henry, in a ghastly steamboat explosion in 1858. The randomness and caprice
of this event, we are told, persuaded Twain that there was no such thing as
a merciful Providence. This seems a pardonable surmise. Similar tragic events,
however, have the effect of reinforcing faith in many other people. What was
it about Twain that made him not just an agnostic or an atheist but a probable
sympathizer with the Devil's party? We are not enlightened.
On lesser matters Kaplan can speculate until the cows come home. What was the
origin of the physical frailty that afflicted Livy Langdon, Twain's future wife?
It may be that her condition was psychosomatic, an instance of the widespread
phenomenon of Victorian young women withdrawing from the world for unspecified
emotional reasons with serious physical symptoms, often referred to as neurasthenia.
It may be that her illness was organic. Perhaps she was indeed ill with a disease
of the spine, such as Pott's disease, which has recently been suggested: an
illness in which chronic back pain and stiffness lead to partial paralysis.
Perhaps she had in fact injured her spine in a fall. Without magnetic resonance
imaging and cat scans, the Victorians were even more helpless than later generations
to diagnose or cure back pain.
This is padding. (The same needless verbosity occurs when Twain's daughter Jean
dies in her bath, much later on: "Perhaps Jean had had an epileptic attack and
blacked out. She may have drowned. Perhaps she had had a heart attack. What
exactly killed her is unclear.")
Kaplan's prose is something less than an unalloyed joy to read, and its faults
are such that one can sometimes not be certain when, or if, he is joking. A
little after the dull passage about Livy above we learn of Langdon's regaining
the ability to walk and are informed that "Livy's recovery, along with their
continued prosperity, confirmed the family's strong religious faith." After
reading this aloud several times, I concluded that it was meant as a plain statement
of fact. Later, in retelling a story in which Finley Peter Dunne affected to
think that he himself was a greater celebrity than Twain, Kaplan appears to
exclude altogether the possibility that the author of the "Mr. Dooley" columns
might have been joking.
Twain was often nettled by the contrary suggestion, that he was playing the
comic when in fact he was attempting to be serious. This was especially the
case at the turn of the century, when he became outraged by the McKinley-Roosevelt
policy of expansionism in the Philippines and Cuba, and also by the sanguinary
hypocrisy of America's Christian "missionaries" in China. The articles and pamphlets
he wrote in that period, some of them too incendiary to see print at the time,
are an imperishable part both of his own oeuvre and of the American radical
journalistic tradition. I would single out in particular his essay on the massacre
of the Moro Islanders a piece of work to stand comparison with Swift's
"A Modest Proposal." Nor did he confine himself to the printed word: with William
Dean Howells he helped to animate the Anti-Imperialist League. This entire passage
in his career is all but skipped by Kaplan, who awards it a few paragraphs,
mentioning only that the New England branch of the Anti-Imperialist League reprinted
one of the polemics, and confining himself to brief excerpts from a couple of
the better-known articles. This scant treatment is redeemed only partially by
an account of the celebrated public exchange between Twain and the young Winston
Churchill in New York. Twain famously teased and chided the youthful firebrand
of Britain's imperial war in South Africa. (One would like to have been present
at that meeting.) Kaplan does give us a contemporary snippet from an anonymous
attendee that makes those remarks appear to have been even more sulphurous than
we had previously thought.
In general, though, this biography is terse when it ought to be expansive, and
expansive when it could well do with being more terse. The student who will
benefit from it most is that student who wishes to study the phenomenon of the
author as businessman. The record of Twain's battles over copyright and royalties,
and the story of his fluctuating success and failure as an investor, are told
with great assiduity. Contemptuous as he may have been of the Gilded Age and
the acquisitive society, Twain was ever ravenous for money, and his acumen was
almost inversely proportionate to his ambition. Usually a man with a keen eye
for fraud and imposture, he was lured to invest in numerous improbable schemes,
and the tale of his won-and-lost fortunes is worth relating as a great American
example of thwarted but unquenchable entrepreneurship. As a result of these
exigencies he wrote altogether too many words, and now his biographer has cited
too many of the mediocre ones and not enough of the brilliant ones. I did eventually
come across a reference to the 1879 Stomach Club lecture on "the Science of
Onanism." This masterly effort is only a few paragraphs long and screams aloud
for quotation but does not get it. Instead Kaplan merely repeats the title of
the talk and describes it thus:
A brilliant, bawdy takeoff on the subject of masturbation, it was,
like "1601," an expression of the subversive, anti-Victorian side of Twain that,
perforce, found some of its best moments in private jokes. Stoically he accepted
that he himself and everything he did was determined by forces beyond his control.
Some were cultural. Some were genetic. All were implacable.
The solemnity of this is near terminal. And the stone of non sequitur is further
laid upon the grave of the joke. It is altogether wrong that a book about Mark
Twain should be boring.
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