The Twins of Tribeca
by Rachel Pine
A review by Rebecca Traister
A few years back, apple-cheeked chick lit mated with slutty celebrity tell-all
and produced a batch of dishy romances like The
Devil Wears Prada and The
Nanny Diaries. They went like this: single girl tries to get her social, sexual
and professional groove on while laboring for a rich and/or famous person whose
real-life identity is very thinly veiled.
The Twins of Tribeca is part of the same litter. First-time novelist
Rachel Pine was a publicity assistant at Miramax Films, the Oscar-gobbling company
run by pugnacious brothers Bob and Harvey Weinstein that helped to popularize
"independent film." Pine's novel centers on Karen Jacobs, a publicity
assistant at Glorious Pictures, headed by Phil and Tony Waxman, "the notorious,
larger-than-life twin brothers who run their company with ... iron fists."
Why Pine even bothered to change the Weinsteins' names is something of a mystery,
especially since Miramax itself is publishing the book.
I was admittedly more eager than most to read The Twins of Tribeca.
Having covered Miramax as a reporter for several years and worked at its magazine
Talk before that, I was anxious to see how my old friends, nemeses and sources
-- including the Bros. Weinstein -- fared.
But one of the things that's good -- really good -- about The Twins of Tribeca
is that it's not really about the titular "Waxmans," who waltz through as loud,
scary but basically buffoonish mascots. Pine also manages to avoid other predictable
elements of her genre; Karen has no swoony romance (only a creepy dalliance
with a foot fetishist gossip-columnist) and no cosmo-quaffing pack of friends.
What Karen does is work. And work and work and work. It may not be sexy, but
it's a grimly observant take on single women's lives. In an ideal world we'd
have a great balance between job and love and sex and friends. But in the real
world, we often just work. And work some more.
Of course for Karen, it's not as bleak as it could be. There's a reason that
The Twins of Tribeca wasn't written by, say, an actuarial assistant.
Karen's gig is punctuated by trips to the Oscars and visits from "Juliet Eastland,"
a lithe Gwynethian actress so stunning that even Harvey, "the evil little ferret"
of an office dog, lets her tickle his belly. There's also dish about difficult
stars who sound a lot like Prince, Robert De Niro, Ralph Fiennes and Natalie
Portman.
But this is window dressing. At the heart of the book is its beautifully executed
revelation that Glorious Pictures, famously headed by two burly guys, is actually
an empire run by women. And Pine's version of intra-office dynamics is infinitely
more sensitive than other recent attempts to convey the pleasures and pains
of a mostly female work hierarchy. There is one hideous caricature -- a screamer
who fires an intern who dares write her for career advice -- but, hey, maybe
she exists.
Most of Karen's superiors have more refined, irritating eccentricities, like
the woman who doesn't trust her assistant with anything more than compiling
a daily list of deliverable soups. Pine faithfully records the minutiae of the
daily humiliations of her caste: When assigned to usher celebrity guests into
an Oscar party, Karen is told: "Don't move your hands when you greet people.
They might think you're trying to touch them." After a spelling error,
one assistant is made to write the name of famous director "Johnny Lucchese"
500 times. Karen arrives at the office at 7 so that her boss, Allegra, still
in bed but pretending to be in a meeting, can have Page Six read aloud to her.
"The column had a mysterious hold over [Allegra]," writes Pine. "She
studied it with the intensity of a Talmudic scholar."
The best part of The Twins of Tribeca is, in fact, the character of
Allegra. In clumsier hands, she could be a harpy who either gets her karmic
comeuppance or soars to heights that prove there is no justice. But Pine depicts
her fictional tormentor with delicate distaste, as a strange, smart woman who
happens to be a massive pain in the ass. Allegra dresses in a coat so big and
totes so many scripts that she looks "as if she were wearing her duvet and carrying
her night table." She speaks in a constant, inaudible whisper. She's maddeningly
vague, and maintains steady fictions about her own life, like that she's talking
to Oprah all day when really she's on with her decorator, or that she's in Europe
when really she's hovering blocks from the Glorious offices pretending not to
recognize her colleagues when they greet her.
Ultimately, what's fresh about Pine's novel is that despite the Machiavellian
industry it chronicles, there are no villains here. Though they torture and
frustrate, the baddie boss ladies at Glorious aren't so different from the goodie
peons.
Somewhat embarrassingly, the final scene between Karen and Allegra -- a scene
just as stilted and weird as the dynamic between the two women -- made me cry
a little. Here's why: When one of them says, "I was trying to have some
piece of a life that didn't involve Phil and Tony and their movies ... I just
wanted to have ten minutes to myself -- to try to have a relationship, or to
talk to my mother, or deal with something other than this goddamn company,"
it's not the beleaguered assistant with whom we've been sympathizing for 371
pages.
Allegra is as nuanced and real a fictional boss as I've encountered in a while.
You wouldn't want to work for her. But, in her, you might see a little of yourself.
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