Parenting in the Present Moment: How to Stay Focused on What Really Matters

This generation of parents is overwhelmed with parenting advice. Carla Naumburg sets out to remind them that they have everything they need to raise healthy, happy children. Mindful parenting is about paying attention to what is going on with your children and yourself, without judging, freaking out, or thinking everyone should be doing something differently. In Parenting in the Present Moment, Naumburg shares what truly matters in parenting — connecting with children in ways that are meaningful to them and you, staying grounded amid the craziness of parenting, and staying present for whatever life throws your way.

With reassuring, compassionate storytelling, she weaves the most current theories — about healthy relationships, compassionate self-care, and mindfulness — throughout vignettes of her own chaotic childhood and parental struggles. She shows how mindfulness creates a solid foundation for any style of parenting, regardless of your cultural background, socioeconomic status, or family structure. She also introduces the STAY model for tough times: Stop whatever it is youre doing; Take a breath; Attune to your thoughts and those of your child; and Yield.

Parenting is an ongoing journey that constantly challenges every parent. Parenting in the Present Moment will help each family find its own way.

"This is a book written by a parent in the trenches who gets how hard it is to parent (and how hard it is to add anything to the to-do list) and offers some gentle and immediately impactful suggestions on how you can make the experience easier and more enjoyable for you and your kids. I am not exaggerating when I report that reading it has changed my life.”—Parade.com

"Great for moms who want to yell less and relax more. Author and clinical social worker Carla Naumburg, Ph.D. takes the philosophical and ancient ideas of consciousness and awareness and makes them easy to understand and use."—Parents magazine

“This book will help all parents who read it, and become a blessing in the lives of their children.”—Edward Hallowell, MD, The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness

“Parenting in the Present Moment offers a highly-achievable approach to parenting that can bring peace and connection back to the most challenging and distracted times of life.”—Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Mama

“Im not normally a fan of parenting books—I always seem to end up more defeated than inspired by the end. Parenting in the Present Moment, however, spoke to me—Dr. Naumburg has a ‘been there, done that way of communicating her message which didnt make me feel like a failure and, instead left me wanting to make some positive changes in my life. Imagine that!”—Jill Smokler, Confessions of a Scary Mommy

“Want to shush that inner voice that keeps telling you youre parenting all ‘wrong? This book helps parents get out of that rut and into the moment, not a moment too soon!”—Lenore Skenazy, Free-Range Kids

“Dr. Naumburg is a wise and insightful mother who can only talk the talk because she has walked the walk of mindful parenting. This book brings a fresh and potentially transformative message to modern parents. Parenting in the Present Moment is a must-have for the library of any parent who is sick and tired of being sick and tired with the way they have been parenting and want to truly change the way they treat their children and themselves for the benefit of the entire family.”—Mayim Bailik, PhD, Mayims Vegan Table, actress, neuroscientist

“In todays high-pressure parenting climate, its refreshing to read a message like Carlas that assures us that raising children is not about what we do, or dont do, perfectly. Instead, as she shows us, its a constant practice, and this simple shift in mindset will help parents to understand how to stay present, connected and grounded. Reading this lovely, warm book is like having a cup of tea with a compassionate and wise friend.” —Christine Gross-Loh, Parenting Without Borders

“Thanks to Carla Naumburgs wonderfully engaging tone, honest and relatable personal anecdotes, and tips that are both simple to remember and to implement, Parenting in the Present Moment gave me the confidence and hope that I could finally be the ‘more present parent I have always struggled (yet dreamed) to be.”—The Orange Rhino, Sheila McCraith, Yell Less, Love More

“Full of wise insights, wonderful storytelling and practical guidance, this book should be on every parents reading list.”—Elisha Goldstein, PhD, The Now Effect

“Be here, now. Even if Carla Naumburg just wrote it over and over, Bart-Simpson-style, for 200 pages, this would be a deeply useful and inspiring book. But of course she offers so much more: practical advice, from-the-trenches reporting, and compassionate wisdom about how to raise a family intentionally. Or, as she puts it, mindfully—attentive to all the moments, and to the fact that the moments are all we ever have.” —Catherine Newman, Waiting for Birdy

“Carla Naumburg reminds us of the great value that exists in our relationships with our children, and the importance of taking care of ourselves while we juggle all that life throws our way. She guides us to be present in these relationships, both with others and ourselves, and provides a humorous and honest approach to raising children.”—Kristen Race, PhD, Mindful Parenting

“Honest and disarming, Carla Naumburgs Parenting in the Present Moment is a must-read for all parents. Grounded throughout by Naumburgs poignant personal anecdotes, the book is infused with useful tips, moving quotes, and powerful practices. The ultimate message? Parenting is hard, mindfulness can help.” —Brian Leaf, Misadventures of a Parenting Yogi

“Being ‘mindful seems like just another thing parents have to master, along with pureeing their own baby food and teaching a toddler the basics of French. But Carla Naumburg doesnt approach it that way. In her wry, accepting way, she tries to instill in parents a basic attitude which allows them to make each parenting day—no matter how they choose to spend that day—more calm and fulfilling. Whatever kind of parent you choose to be, Naumburgs book will help you do it with more grace.” —Hanna Rosin, The End of Men

“Humorous, heartfelt, and most of all, honest, Naumburg makes clear that parenting is about progress through practice rather than some kind of perfection we can achieve.”—Christopher Willard, PhD, Childs Mind

“Wise, tender, honest, sweet, smart, practical, engaging. . . what a beautiful book, a book every parent should read. Dr. Naumburg writes as Carla, a fellow flawed parent, and opens her arms to parents and children everywhere. This book will help all parents who read it, and become a blessing in the lives of their children.”—Edward Hallowell, MD, The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness

“Each day we are inundated with distractions. From the noise of the outside world to the dialogue in our head, moments of meaningful human connection are becoming harder and harder to grasp. Parenting in the Present Moment reminds us that we have the ability to step off the merry-go-round of chaos and immerse ourselves in the present moment. Through realistic examples and down-to-earth language, Naumburg shows us we have everything we need to respond to our children and ourselves with compassion and kindness. Parenting in the Present Moment offers a highly-achievable approach to parenting that can bring peace and connection back to the most challenging and distracted times of life.”—Rachel Macy Stafford, Hands Free Mama

Carla Naumburg is a clinical social worker, writer, and most importantly, mother. She is the mindful parenting blogger for PsychCentral.com and a contributing editor at Kveller.com. Carla's writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Huffington Post, and Parents.com, as well as in a number of academic articles and online magazines. Carla holds a B.A. from Middlebury College, an M.S.W. from Smith College School for Social Work, a PhD from Simmons College School of Social Work, and she has an advanced certificate in mindfulness and psychotherapy. Carla grew up in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Bay Area of California, and she currently lives outside of Boston with her husband and two young daughters.

1. Introduction

2. Losing Myself in Motherhood and Finding the Truth of My Childhood

3. Staying Connected

4. Staying Grounded

5. Staying Present

6. When We Cant Stay

7. Conclusion and Resources