Burnt Cookies: A Quest for Closure

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'Darkness very darkness is sectional' Gertrude Stein If sharing a life that has suffered abuse in order to allow others to begin to repair similar lives is the purpose of this book BURNT COOKIES: A QUEST FOR CLOSURE, the author Arny Alberts has succeeded. What prevents this book from becoming more than an autobiographical confessional is the manner in which Alberts has chosen to tell his harrowing story. Authors since Shakespeare's time have realized that tragedy becomes more poignant, more tolerable to read or hear, if the dark is relieved by light in places: comic relief in many ways heightens the drama and makes it more universal. From the first page until the last Alberts relates this life story of the effect of many forms of abuse from childhood to the present with such unrelenting angst that were it not for the curiosity he builds in his readership, the book would likely not get beyond publication. But there most assuredly are people who have sustained abuse similar to Alberts and if seeing in writing that they are not alone, then that is sufficient reason to make this story available. Alberts opens his first page with progress of his seizure disorder present since childhood. There is a point at which he decides unilaterally (not informing his family, his devoted wife Paula, or his doctors of his decision) to stop taking his daily medications that control his seizure disorder. This of course leads to recurrence of seizures at the most inopportune moments and Alberts attempts to compensate by abusing alcohol. Ultimately an old friend of his draws him into private conversation and shares a fact that is at the core of Alberts' lack of self esteem: from age 14 to 17 he was in a sexual relationship with his high school coach, a relationship into which he was drawn because of his naïveté, his strong Catholic upbringing, and his need for companionship from an adult. In this portion of the book Alberts writes very well indeed, explaining the progressive sexual involvement with Coach Cappelleri in a most sophisticated and credible way. But it is the surfacing of this submerged high school experience and all the fears of sexual identity that molded Alberts' response to life. Gradually he fights all his demons and brings the truth to light with his understanding wife and family and is able to step out of the descent into darkness, confront the past, and reach for the light that surrounds him today. There are strong moments of writing in this book, moments that suggest Arny Alberts may have more to say not only about this topic of sexual abuse but about other aspects of his life that will find an audience among fellow travelers. In that case we could hope that he will appreciate the need to allow his readership some moments of relief, because in doing so he will be able to write with less of a desperately and agonizingly whining voice and step into the field of pure literature - the ultimate indicator of a fine autobiographer. Grady Harp