Army Wives: The Unwritten Code of Military Marriage

Biank tells the story of four typical Army wives who, in a flash, find themselves in extraordinary circumstances that ultimately force them to redefine who they are as women and wives. This is a true story about what happened when real life collided with army convention.

Army Wives is a groundbreaking narrative that takes the reader beyond the Army's gates, taking a close look at the other woman--the Army itself--and how its traditions, rules and war-time realities deeply impact marriage and home life. "Tanya Biank has written a stunningly detailed, eye-opening account of what it is really like to be an Army wife. Army Wives demonstrates that while it is tough to be a soldier, it can be even tougher to be the wife of a soldier. Army Wives should be required reading for every military spouse and all those who are considering marrying into the military."

-- Ron Martz , Military affairs correspondent, Atlanta Journal-Constitution and co-author of Heavy Metal: A Tank Company's Battle to Baghdad

"Tanya Biank's experience as a reporter has produced a candid and detailed study of her subjects and a riveting story, certain to engage Army wives of all generations.  The incidents described and the issues surfaced in Ms. Biank's hard-hitting piece surely will get her readers' attentions and will cause us to say to each other, 'Now, what can we do about it?'"

--Joanne Patton, the wife of Major General George S. Patton and the daughter-in-law of General George S. Patton, Jr.

"Army Wives captivates readers with an up close and personal look into the 'real' everyday lives and challenges of Army spouses.  Kudos to Ms. Biank for portraying each spouse's story with such heartfelt compassion."

--Victoria M. Parham, Host of Military Spouse Talk Radio Tanya Biank is a Fulbright scholar, an award-winning journalist, a former reporter for the Fayetteville Observer, a monthly columnist for www.military.com and a contributing writer for Military Spouse Magazine. Mark Gordon Productions and Touchstone TV have developed a pilot for a one hour TV series based on the book. The daughter of a career Army officer, Tanya lives in Virginia, with her husband, an Army officer assigned to the Pentagon.

--The Washington Post

"Army Wives captivates readers with an up close and personal look into the 'real' everyday lives and challenges of Army spouses.  Kudos to Ms. Biank for portraying each spouse's story with such heartfelt compassion."

--Victoria M. Parham, Host of Military Spouse Talk Radio

"Tanya Biank has written a stunningly detailed, eye-opening account of what it is really like to be an Army wife. Army Wives demonstrates that while it is tough to be a soldier, it can be even tougher to be the wife of a soldier. Army Wives should be required reading for every military spouse and all those who are considering marrying into the military."

-- Ron Martz , Military affairs correspondent, Atlanta Journal-Constitution and co-author of Heavy Metal: A Tank Company's Battle to Baghdad

"Tanya Biank captures the atmosphere of military living and the pressure brought to bear on young wives to measure up as partners in their husbands' careers. . . In reading this detailed and insightful book we receive some hope in the fact that the military administration has recognized and has taken steps to support both husbands and wives in the future."

--Ann Jordan Klunder, National President, The Society of Daughters of the United States Army

"...Biank's novelistic sense of detail and suspense vividly demonstrates how 'the Army...could bring couples closer together...or it could rip relationships apart.' Army wives cope with unpredictable deployments and struggle to raise children alone, often on small paychecks, in a community both tightknit and sharply judgmental. 'Army wives serve, too,' says Biank - in an institution ambivalent about families. She makes sympathetic both their pride and their tragedies."

--Publishers Weekly

"Biank has strong credentials for understanding and explaining army culture: in addition to having been a military reporter, she is the daughter and wife of army officers. Her very readable and thoughtful book delves into a rarely studied segment of the army."

--Library Journal

"Biank has created a vivid picture of life today as a military spouse."

--Kirkus Reviews

"Tanya Biank's experience as a reporter has produced a candid and detailed study of her subjects and a riveting story, certain to engage Army wives of all generations.  The incidents described and the issues surfaced in Ms. Biank's hard-hitting piece surely will get her readers' attentions and will cause us to say to each other, 'Now, what can we do about it?'"

--Joanne Patton, the wife of Major General George S. Patton and the daughter-in-law of General George S. Patton, Jr.

"From tragic to bittersweet, this is the untold story of the wives of our Army warriors--a powerful look for civilians and soldiers alike into the lives of women who each day embrace Duty, Honor, Sacrifice."

--W.E.B. Griffin

"In Under the Sabers, Tanya Biank invites civilians into the military world, a foreign culture. She introduces us to the true meaning of honor and duty as we see the strains on wives with a spouse serving in a war zone. She richly describes the bonds among military families that serve to support a wife during her spouse's deployments and simultaneously may limit her autonomy. Under the Sabers shows that military families are both the hidden casualties of war and a resilient group who meet the challenges for growth during every deployment. Tanya Biank helps those of us who work with families of deployed soldiers become better able to understand and serve them."

--Dr. Jaine L. Darwin, PsyD Harvard professor, Clinical Instructor in Psychology, Harvard Medical School and Co-Director, SOFAR, Strategic Outreach to Families of All Reservists

"Thank you for putting a voice to the hardships and triumphs of this military life."

--Tara Crooks, host of Army Wife Talk Radio

"A very realistic and enjoyable read about the pains and pleasures of military life."

--www.militarybrat.com

“[A] timely look at the impact of combat and military life on the families the soldiers leave behind.” —The Washington Post

“[A] provocative portrait of modern army wives.” —Booklist

“[With a] novelistic sense of detail and suspense…[Biank] makes sympathetic both their pride and their tragedies.” —Publishers Weekly

“Biank has created a vivid picture of life today as a military spouse.” —Kirkus Reviews

—The Washington Post

“[A] provocative portrait of modern army wives.”

—Booklist

“[With a] novelistic sense of detail and suspense…[Biank] makes sympathetic both their pride and their tragedies.”

—Publishers Weekly

“Biank has created a vivid picture of life today as a military spouse.”

—Kirkus Reviews

—Kirkus Reviews

“UNDAUNTED contains fascinating multiple portraits of the real-life experiences of women in the military, from young enlisted women to a seasoned and celebrated general. Tanya Biank explores these lives with inside knowledge, compassion and wit.”

—Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy columnist and author of The Mighty Queens of Freeville

“To many traditional men, especially those who have known the rigors of military service, the question often is, why would women want to take on this challenging life? By the end of Tanya Bianks fine book, UNDAUNTED, the answer is clear: because they want to do it, and they can do it.” —Joseph E. Persico, author of Roosevelts Centurions

“UNDAUNTED expertly captures the struggle women face in the rapidly changing 21st century military. If you have ever wondered what it takes for women service members to ‘be all they can be, you must read this book.”

—Siobhan Fallon, author You Know When the Men Are Gone

“Whether withering under a Marine Drill Instructors ‘blasting, jumping out of a C-17 with Army Airborne, planning operations along the Afghanistan border, or negotiating the political minefields of being a one-star general, Biank makes the reader feel you are there with four extraordinary, yet very human women who have chosen the profession of arms.”

—Jeff Melvoin, Executive Producer of Army Wives

“UNDAUNTED is truly riveting. The stories remind us that while our service members gracefully bear the burden of protecting our liberties, they sometimes do so at great personal cost.”

—Sue Hoppin, Founder and President of the National Military Spouse Network

“Tanya Bianks UNDAUNTED is a fascinating, eye-opening account of the women in uniform who put their lives on the line every day for the sake of their nation.”

—W. E. B. Griffin, author of Black Ops

Biank tells the story of four typical Army wives who, in a flash, find themselves in extraordinary circumstances that ultimately force them to redefine who they are as women and wives. This is a true story about what happened when real life collided with army convention.

Army Wives is a groundbreaking narrative that takes the reader beyond the Army's gates, taking a close look at the other woman--the Army itself--and how its traditions, rules and war-time realities deeply impact marriage and home life.

Since 9/11, more than 240,000 women soldiers have fought in Iraq and Afghanistan—more than 140 have died there, and they currently make up fourteen percent of the total active-duty forces. Despite advances, todays servicewomen are constantly pressed to prove themselves, to overcome challenges men never face, and to put the military mission ahead of all other aspects of their lives, particularly marriage and motherhood. In this groundbreaking, insiders look at the women defending our nation, Tanya Biank brings to light the real issues—of femininity, belonging to an old boys club, veiled discrimination, dating, marriage problems, separation from children, questions about life goals, career trajectories, and self-worth—that servicewomen are facing by focusing on four individual stories.

Brigadier General Angela Salinas, the Marine Corps first Hispanic female general, faces the challenge of commanding an all-male institution. Second Lieutenant Bergan Flanagan finds herself on the frontlines in Afghanistan, serving in the same military police company as her husband. As a marine drill instructor, Sergeant Amy Stokley demands the very best from the recruits at Parris Island. And Major Candice OBrien deals with deployment to Afghanistan, with two young children and a strained marriage back home.

Undaunted is the story of these courageous trailblazers—their struggles, sacrifices, and triumphs in the name of serving the country they love.

1.) The author describes the Army as the “other woman.” What does she mean by that?

2.) Has reading “Army Wives” increased your awareness or changed your opinion of Army life? What were you most surprised to learn?

3.) In the book, members of the military community are portrayed as supportive, but also judgmental. Discuss how this plays out in the lives of the characters.

4.) In the book, the wives wield their own power. What kind of impact can the wives have on their husbands careers?

5.) Andrea Lynne and Rita are Army wives at the same post. Why are their lives so different from each other and why is it unlikely their paths would cross?

6.) Rita puts wives into categories based on personality traits. Which group do you most identify with, if any?

7.) Should Rita have told Brian about the details of her girls night out?

8.) How do the women change or evolve throughout the book? Can you relate to any of their predicaments? Do any of the women remind you of yourself or someone you know?

9.) What do you think of the books subtitle, The Unwritten Code of Military Marriage? What does the “unwritten code” mean?

10.) After losing the love of her life, is it possible for Andrea Lynne, or anyone, to find that kind of love again?

11.) Is Andrea Lynne an admirable or self-absorbed figure in this book?

12.) Could anything have saved Gary Shane from himself? Discuss how Delores and Ski handled their loss individually and as a couple.

13.) We learn from the experiences of others. Discuss any lessons from the book you can apply to your own life.

14.) Why did Rita feel different and excluded from the officers wives at Military Spouse Day? Could she have done anything to remedy the situation? Rita felt the women prejudged her. Did she prejudge them as well?

15.) What do you think happened between Andrea and Brandon that last night?

16.) “To thine own self be true” was a motto Andrea Lynne had painted on a cabinet in her home. How does this saying play out in the lives of the main characters?

17.) After her husbands death, Andrea Lynne finds herself separated from her old life and identity as an Army wife. What is your reaction to her dilemma and the choices she makes?

18.) Why would a husband murder the mother of his children? Do you agree with the Pentagons assessment of the Fort Bragg Army wife murders?