Beyond Dealmaking Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships

Until now, even the most enlightened negotiation books have focused on the signed agreement as their ultimate goal. But yes is often the easiest place to get. The other party will say yes to be polite or to make you go away when they feel cornered by forceful analytical arguments. The difficulty is in getting those same people to carry out their promise, fully, willingly and consistently. In short, unless you have built a mutually satisfying relationship you may never move beyond yes. Traditionally, negotiation has been approached as an isolated activity, separate from the business relationship or even from implementation. However, businesses that focus only on getting the deal often find their victory doesn't translate into profits. In two decades as an international negotiator and mediator, Melanie Billings-Yun, Ph.D. has seen hundreds of disputes arise and deals collapse because the negotiation process left a bitter taste in one party's mouth, because one side felt forced or tricked into unfair terms, or because those terms were too rigid to cope with the changes that inevitably occur. From that extensive experience she developed a model of relationship negotiation that has already won thousands of adherents around the world. The GRASP method has five clear steps: Understand the Goals of all parties, beyond the immediate deal. Develop Routes to maximize mutual benefit and promote synergy among the parties. Build openness, trust and common understanding through valid Arguments. Benchmark Substitutes to keep relationships from growing stale or one-sided. Increase your Persuasion through empathetic communication and genuine care.

Through narrative lessons and stories, readers will learn how fairness, honesty, empathy, flexibility and mutual problem-solving will take them out of the punishing transactional grind and enable them to achieve sustainable success. By following the simple but powerful five-step GRASP negotiation process and drawing on the lessons at the end of each chapter, readers will find that negotiation becomes positive, exciting and rewarding instead of painful and punishing. Most important, they will see how they personally can profit from the central lesson of the 20th century: the greatest victories come not through fighting battles, but through building alliances.

"Every potential rainmaker and savvy competitor needs Melanie Billings-Yun's GRASP method for negotiation. You'll never have to search for leads again. I highly recommend this book."

—Jeffrey J. Fox, author, How to Be a Rainmaker, Rain, and How to Be a Fierce Competitor

"Stepping back from the details of the deal, Beyond Dealmaking focuses on the bigger picture—engaging people to work together in an authentic way to resolve issues. Dr. Billings-Yun's accessible approach offers negotiators more than merely how to 'get to yes' but, more importantly, how to stay there."

—Carol Frohlinger, coauthor, Her Place at the Table: A Woman's Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success, and co-founder of Negotiating Women, Inc.

"The concepts advocated in Beyond Dealmaking are spot on, particularly for global negotiations and joint ventures such as ones I routinely dealt with in mergers and acquisitions. Attention to productive relationships is one element that consistently crosses cultures and geographies. Dr. Billings-Yun captures the essence of a complicated topic concisely, with concrete examples that bring it to life and a conversational tone that makes it a leisurely read."

—Jacqui Winship, director, Corporate Strategy and Business Development, Whirlpool Corporation

"Melanie Billings-Yun has produced an innovative, refreshing approach to negotiation based on her years of practical experience around the world. She treats negotiation as an on-going process that forms the core of a successful relationship, not as merely a free-standing transaction. Beyond Dealmaking takes us beyond 'yes' to build the sort of trust that ensures success."

—Stephen Bosworth, dean, The Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, Tufts University

"Finally, a clear-eyed how-to book that understands that negotiation is not just about terms, but about people. Beyond Dealmaking shows us how to make lasting agreements based on understanding, fairness, and respect. Filled with fascinating stories of negotiations of every type, this is a book that everyone can learn from to improve their work and their lives—and maybe even ease the burden on our overloaded courts."

—Betty Roberts, arbitrator, mediator, and former Oregon Supreme Court Justice

"I am delighted to see a considered and sustainable approach to negotiation that understands that actions, words, and fairness have an impact that continues far beyond the signing of a deal."

—Edward C. Prescott, Ph.D., professor, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Economics

Introduction.

Part One: Why Relationships Matter.

1 The Goal Is Not a Good Deal, but a Good Outcome.

2 Even Monkeys Demand Fairness.

3 The Power of Us.

Part Two: The Mind of the Negotiator.

4 The Four Pillars of Relationship Negotiation.

5 Don't Feed the Bears!

6 Be Prepared.

Part Three: Five Steps to Success.

7 Goals—What You Really Want.

8 Routes—How to Get There.

9 Arguments—Making Your Case.

10 Substitutes—The Backup Plan.

11 Persuasion—Winning Them Over.

Part Four: Conclusion.

12 You Can Negotiate!

Appendix A: GRASP Negotiation Planner.

Appendix B: Post-Negotiation Evaluation.

Notes.

Acknowledgments.

About the Author.

Index.