Synopses & Reviews
“I feel like Ive joined an enormous club, something like the Veterans of Foreign Wars. We are weary with battle fatigue and sometimes even gripped by nostalgia for the good old, bad old days, but our numbers are large,” writes Theo Pauline Nestor in this wry, fiercely honest chronicle of life after divorce.
Less than an hour after confronting her husband over his massive gambling losses, Theo banishes him from their home forever. With two young daughters to support and her life as a stay-at-home mother at an abrupt end, Nestor finds herself slipping from “middle-class grace” as she attends a court-ordered custody class, stumbles through job interviews, and-much to her surprise-falls in love once again. As Theo rebuilds her life and recovers her sense of self, shes forced to confront her own familys legacy of divorce. “Im from a long line of stock market speculators, artists of unmarketable talents, and alcoholics,” writes Nestor. “The higher, harder road is not our road. We move, we divorce, we drink, or we disappear.”
Nestors journey takes her deep into her familys past, to a tiny village in Mexico, where she discovers the truth about how her sister ended up living in a convent there after their parents divorced in the early sixties. What she learns ultimately brings her closer to understanding her own divorce and its impact on her two daughters. “I knew from experience that for children divorce means half the world is constantly eclipsed. When youre with one parent, the other must always slip out of view,” Nestor writes.
Funny, openhearted, and brave, How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed will speak to anyone who has passed through the halls of divorce court or risked tenderness after loss. It marks the debut of an enchanting, deeply truthful voice.
From the Hardcover edition.
About the Author
THEO PAULINE NESTOR teaches writing at the University of Washington. Her essay “The Chickens in the Oven, My Husbands out the Door” was published in the
New York Times “Modern Love” column and was the genesis of this book. She lives in Seattle, Washington, with her two daughters.
From the Hardcover edition.
Reading Group Guide
1. Although Theo's individual circumstances were unique to her family, every divorce situation features similar challenges. What do you think were the challenges Theo faced that most people also share when going though divorce? How do you think her situation reflected the universal feelings of people who are getting divorced? How did her feelings differ?
2. How might the narrator's experience resonate with women who haven't been through a divorce?
3. Kirkus Reviews says that How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed is “[n]ot another slick how-to” and that “Women going through the pain and turmoil of separation and divorce will appreciate Nestor’s candor and wit.” Do you think men going through divorce would appreciate this book too?
4. The narrator's mother plays a prominent role in her story. What challenges might her mother have faced as a divorcee in her day? Do you think the author's own divorce changed her relationship with her mother?
5. Many states require divorcing parents to attend a “What about the kids?” seminar. What do you think Theo got out of her experience with the one she attended? Do you think these seminars are helpful?
6. Why do you think the author is drawn to Markos? Are there people in your life who have kept a hold on your heart?
7. Ultimately, the relationship between Theo and Markos does not work out. Does this breakup give you insights about the conditions under which a couple, once they’ve broken up, can ever get back together?
8. One of the most emotional moments in the book occurs when Theo travels to Mexico to visit the town where her sister was raised after their parents divorced. How did your opinion of their parents change after reading this chapter? How did your opinion of Theo change? Why is reading the letter from the narrator's sister Kathy a turning point for the narrator?
9. The narrator begins to claim the king-size bed for her own by sleeping in different spots on the bed. What are some things you have done to reclaim yourself after a relationship ends? What did you discover about yourself in doing so?
10. What does the narrator ultimately learn about herself (or others) that she might not have learned if she'd remained married?