Excerpt
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is . . .
The Antichrist
Obsessive-Compulsive
A Closeted Homosexual
Suffering from Amnesia
A Pimp
Actually Twins
An Extraterrestrial
A Commitment-phobe
A Total Bastard
Suffering from ADHD
A Serial Killer
An Enabler
A Kleptomaniac
A Robot
A Scientologist
A Trekkie
A Hypochondriac
A Slacker
A Time Traveler from the Past
A Misanthrope
A Misogynist
Actually a Woman
In the Witness Protection Program
Passive-Aggressive
A Cult Leader
Suffering from an Anxiety Disorder
A Zombie
A Polygamist
An Ex-Convict
Too Old for You
A Rageaholic
A Junkie
An Illegal Alien
Possessed by Demons
A Workaholic
A Pedophile
A Bumpkin
Suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder
A Player
A Fugitive from Justice
Jealous
A Hit Man
Married with Children
A Ghost
An Alcoholic
A Stalker
A Psychic
On Crystal Meth
A Cross-Dresser
A Nymphomaniac
A Narcissist
Addicted to Porn
Bipolar
A Mama’s Boy
An Angel
A Government-Trained Assassin
Dyslexic
A Renegade Cop
Clinically Depressed
Suffering from an STD
Narcoleptic
A Control Freak
P-Whipped
On Steroids
A Homophobe
A Compulsive Gambler
A Gun Nut
A Vampire
Trying to Kill You
Agoraphobic
An Insufferable Bore
A Crackhead
A Pathological Liar
Index by Trait
Acknowledgments