ManApePig

I was just in a public restroom and some dude with an overly large face came out of a stall and went straight over to the sink WITHOUT washing his hands and just started getting water on his hands and splashing it all over his face and then he started filling his cupped hands with water and just drinking straight out of his hands. I almost threw up right next to him. I was gonna ask him if he was okay or something but I didn't want him to try to touch me in any way or splash his gross water on me.

Oh, sorry. I'm supposed to be telling you about this book. Okay. Here we go. This here fanciful new manuscript is the first ever complete catalogue of the greatest story of humanity never told. When you finally understand where our ridiculous species originally comes from, you will clearly see just how easy it is for us to revolutionize our own lives as they are right now. Our most ancient early ancestors lived in an entirely different way in the early and middle Paleolithic Period. The so called "paleo" diet and lifestyle have become extremely popular these days, but quite frankly, they have gotten it all almost completely WRONG. This is why science has always needed the rebels and the rockers, from Galileo to Jane Goodall. In this book we will take you on an adventure through time and on a journey around the world to explore some of the simple traditional lifestyles and effortless modes of living, still echoing from antiquity, that specific populations have cultivated to extend their youth for entire decades longer while eloquently going on to live well beyond the age of one hundred in incredible health and vitality, and if all that wasn't enough, even massively enhance their very own brain's innate thinking power and memory and their mind's own homegrown supply of natural euphoria. And this is only the beginning.

Spoiler alert - nature would never shape an animal in a way such that it didn't absolutely love its own native environment. It may sound hard to believe, but every animal is adaptively tailored to feel at home in its own unique habitat and meant to experience many moments of bliss and tranquility. Do you cringe when you hear the claims about where humans came from? Well, that's because those places are *not* where we are really from. Pssst... come closer so I can whisper... there's a reason why most humans are so in love with beaches and water... teehee.

(Now I'm giggling with my eyes squinted shut and two little hands covering my mouth, teeheehee... I don't know where these two little hands are coming from though. Now I'm scared)